Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Finding The COURAGE To Let Go With Kute Blackson Transformational Teacher & Best Selling Author
Thu, 07 Nov 2024
In This Episode You Will Learn About: Breaking down the process of surrendering The misconceptions around “giving up” Why your ego is holding you back Letting go of control Resources: Website: kuteblackson.com Read You Are The One & Magic of Surrender FREE Reinvent Online Seminar Attend The Boundless Bliss event Listen to Soul Talk LinkedIn & Youtube: @Kute Blackson Twitter & Instagram & Facebook: @kuteblackson Go to ConstantContact.com and start your FREE trial today. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Oracle is offering to halve your cloud bill if you switch to OCI See if you qualify at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553! Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/ Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes: Surrendering is NOT easy. Most people never open up to their TRUE selves in order to surrender and let go of whatever is holding them back! Inspirational speaker and transformational teacher, Kute Blackson is here to help us embrace the new, and let go of the past. When you surrender and give things up you don’t get LESS, you get MORE! Allow yourself to release control and STOP limiting yourself by listening to your ego. Instead, start paying attention to your soul, and move with LOVE.
Chapter 1: What is the process of surrendering?
Most people never crack open to surrender because they missed the phase in the middle. The phase in the middle is grieving. Surrender is a death. It's a death of your ego. It's a death of who you thought you were. It's a death of a phase of your life like, well, I'm no longer 20. I'm 30. I'm 40. I'm 50. It's a death of a dream, a death of a job. It's a death of something.
Chapter 2: Why is grieving important in surrender?
And so to truly move on into, I'm going to embrace the new. You have to be willing to grieve for the old and most of us never truly let ourselves grieve and we want to move on and surrender and that's why we can't open our hearts to surrender because we're not truly letting go and grieving and honoring what was.
Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up.
Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest today.
They say when the student is ready, the teacher appears. That is the case today. We've got Coot Blackson. He's a beloved inspirational speaker, transformational teacher. He speaks at countless events. He organizes around the world as well as outside events, including. The YPO and EO.
He is a member of the Transformational Leadership Council, a select group of one of 100 of the world's foremost authorities in the personal development industry. Winner of the 2019 Unity New Thought Walden Award, Blackson is widely considered a next generation leader in the field of personal development. His mission is simple.
to awaken and inspire people across the planet to access inner freedom, live authentically, and fulfill their true life's purpose. Koot, thank you so much for being here today.
Thank you for having me.
Okay, I want to get right into your book, Surrender, okay? Because I am the person, I am the type A overachiever my entire life, and I want to wrap my head around the idea of surrender, but I don't even know where to begin. Am I crazy or do you hear this all the time?
No, I think it's quite normal, to be honest. I would say you'd be more crazy if we started the conversation by saying, yeah, surrender's easy. I love surrender. It's a piece of cake. That would be more unusual. I think more normal. And I would break down why. We can go deep into why that is. So it's really...
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Chapter 3: What misconceptions exist around surrender?
Then you can align your thoughts, your feelings, your strategy, your planning, your go-getter personality, your actions together. Now in alignment with what's authentic rather than chasing something that is really not real, not authentic. And so it might mean when you surrender that you work harder than you ever worked. But what you're working for is like, you think Jesus didn't work hard?
Do you think Bruce Lee didn't work hard? Do you think Muhammad Ali didn't? Like, do you think Mother Teresa was lazy and didn't work hard? They worked like crazy. 24-7, Mandela, Martin Luther King, nonstop, 24-7. But they were in alignment with the deeper vision of what was true. And maybe like, let's look at Mandela. Mandela surrendered.
That took him to what, 26, 27 years in prison, somewhere kind of unexpected. So we could say, Should he have not spent 26, 27 years in prison? What if he didn't? Two things. Would the consciousness of the world have been ready for and rallied behind him in the way that it did? And would he have developed, like, to spend 27 years in prison, you have to go really deep in yourself.
And so perhaps that was the universe's way of preparing him to develop the mental, emotional, spiritual soul force that he could come out and be that empathetic and visionary and compassionate to be able to move the world. So what if he didn't, you know? And so I think surrendering is that openness and availability.
This is so tricky and so contrary to how we've lived and been raised, right? And been taught from our parents, just culture, society, right? Like what's the right thing to do? I built my entire life. I built a lot of success in my career in corporate America from the grind, from the, I can control it. And if I can't, I'll go out and find another way to control it and I can make it happen.
And it worked for a long time, okay? For a long time until it didn't. And I know you talk about this a lot, Most people want to surrender when they hit rock bottom. That's what happened to me. Right. I got fired from my C-suite job, unexpectedly single mom. All of a sudden I had nothing. I felt like I had nothing. And I had to basically throw my arms up and say, where do I go now?
I don't know what to do. I will. I didn't call that surrender. Right. I don't even, I still don't even really understand it well enough, even though I've studied you so much, it's not tangible enough to me. Right. But I'll tell you, The series of events that occurred when I maybe sort of surrendered in some way is incredible what's happened to me since I've been fired.
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Chapter 4: How does the ego hold us back from surrendering?
But I toggle back and forth between.
That's natural.
It's awful. It's awful.
No, no. It's part of the process of life. You're like, you're so on course. Just know. Here's what I would say. Part of surrender isn't just, oh, I'm fully surrendered now. I read The Magic of Surrender. No. Part of real surrender. is the ability to not even force yourself to surrender.
Like, I'm going to make myself surrender because this becomes another ego strategy to control the process of surrender, which then keeps you doubly screwed, doubly not surrendered. So now my ego says, surrender. I'm going to control surrender. Now you're doubly stuck. So if you can just even begin by recognising I'm not freaking surrendering right now. I'm doing my control thing right now.
And I'll explain why. Wow. Okay. Observe that. And rather than forcing and judging and like, what's wrong with me? If you can just surrender to the fact that in this moment, you're not surrendered. That's actually a deeper level of surrender where you can be with, wow, I'm not surrendered right now.
And I don't have to judge my, just notice that and be with that and acknowledge that and surrender to that. You may not be fully surrendered in this moment and it's okay. And if you can just meet yourself in that space with a bit of compassion, then there can be a relaxation rather than surrender, surrender. But no, surrender. I need to surrender. No, I should be sure I'm what it's like.
I'm not surrendered right now. Let me just be with that. So here's the thing. I think this might help as well. I'm going to kind of break down the anatomy of why we don't surrender. And I think this understanding will really help. What I'll say actually before I do that is life is a process of surrender. So on some level, you can't not surrender. It's just surrender.
How are you going to go about that? How are you going to participate with the process of life that is happening? Because the moment you're born, we begin to age. Then we turn 50, 60, hair falls out, wrinkles. You can't turn back time. surrender. Then we die. We can surrender now. We can surrender tomorrow. We can surrender at the moment of death of those that believe in another lifetime.
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Chapter 5: What are the phases of surrender?
We're not sitting here going, uh-oh, how do I breathe? I go, that is breathing us. Let's be with that. Let's meditate on something is breathing us right now. And that same something that's breathing you and breathing me is breathing all existence.
And that same life force, that same something that's breathing you is processing and functioning the trillions and trillions and trillions and trillions of cells in your body, coordinating your liver and your kidneys and your eyes and color and speech and sound and brainwaves and nervous system. And so many more complexities inside of us that we're not even aware of.
The same intelligence of life is function of the sun, the star, the moons, all of existence. Whatever we want to call it, call it whatever, but it's something. And we don't trust it. Like you ate this morning. I ate this morning. What did I have? I had some cereal, some eggs. Eat the cereal. My hand doesn't become cereal. There's an intelligence inside. And so...
I think surrender is trusting this intelligence. Surrender is trusting the innate intelligence that's inside of us to show us, to reveal itself. And I think when we do that, life has a way of, I have found, to me, I call the book the magic of surrender, because life has a way, the magic is that which is beyond what we can imagine. We all want magic. I want magic. Who wants magic?
I want some magic, that which is beyond what I can imagine. But we don't want to surrender. We want to hold on to the old. But the next level of our life requires the next level of us, which requires letting go of what's no longer aligned. And often we don't realize that when we hold on, it's the holding on. We're the one that's blocking our blessings.
Like, for instance, I was speaking to a client and they're like, I really want to manifest my soulmate, this amazing, juicy, alive, vibrant relationship. But they're staying in a toxic relationship and waiting for their soulmate to show up in order to let go. You know, how does that happen? And so surrender is letting go of what's not aligned, letting go of what's no longer vibrational.
Because holding on is your affirmation of your lack of trust in the universe. And that's what you'll attract even more. When we let go, we're affirming, universe, I trust you. I trust life. I trust the universe. As we let go, we shift our vibration. We raise our vibration. We bring ourselves into more alignment with what we do want.
And we unclutter our energy system and our lives to create the space for new blessings. And yes, I will say you will lose people when you surrender. You will lose things when you surrender. But what I will say is who you lose and what you lose was not truly in alignment. with your highest anyway, because what is truly yours will be yours and cannot not be yours.
And what is not yours can never be yours, even if you try to force it.
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