Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan
Confidence Classic: Why Growth Starts When Comfort Ends with Heather
03 Jun 2026
Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: How does growth begin when we step into uncertainty?
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That is upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. That's U-P-W-O-R-K dot com. Upwork.com. When everything is uncertain, anything is possible. You can only see the dots connect when you look backwards. It's impossible to see it looking forward. You have to move forward in faith.
When I look back, it's always taking me to something bigger, better, and God's plan's always gonna be better and bigger than mine. There is something so much bigger out there for us if we're willing to step into that possibility, if we're willing to turn it over and surrender and just have faith. Come on this journey with me.
Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to. So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.
Okay, so I just received a DM on LinkedIn, and I wanted to share with you what it said and what I responded because... I get a lot of messages like this. So the DM I received was super great with this woman's doing someone I don't know that was reaching out to me saying, hey, Heather, I have this new initiative or this passion project I'm working on.
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Chapter 2: What lessons can we learn from getting fired and rebuilding our lives?
How do I fix this? you know, she feels stuck. And so I thought that was so interesting because if success was easy, everybody would have it. That's the first thing I go back to is I just think about business, right?
And I just remember coming up in sales and, you know, becoming a sales leader and then a VP of sales and then an EVP and then a chief revenue officer and then getting fired and reinventing myself. None of this stuff was easy, right? So you can either in any situation sit somewhere
and think about how things stink because of the conditions, because of the way other people respond, or this is the better option, what you can do is challenge yourself to say, okay, how can I put myself in their shoes
and make them want to take this on, make this their idea, make this special and important for them, how can I change the way I'm doing it so that I can connect and get their support, right? So the first thing that I thought to myself, that's how I thought when I heard her question, when I thought about, there's always a solution, number one, okay?
I don't care what challenge you're facing, there will always be, be a solution available to you. It's on each one of us to find it and listen, it might not be the thing that you like. You might not like the solution, but it's out there that I know for sure.
So I think to myself, okay, if I want to help this lady find a solution, I need to put myself in the shoes of the people that are giving her a hard time that are basically saying this has a negative connotation. I don't want any part of the discussion. So the first thing I thought to myself is, okay, change the narrative, whatever that discussion is, we've got to change it.
So how you've been doing it, that's not working. Right? So number one, you've got a clear intention and a goal, which is great. And we want to have that clearly defined. And she does. Now she's got some data because she's gone out and tried to make it work with her narrative she initially used. The data came back and said, this doesn't work. Okay, great.
So we know what doesn't work, which is fantastic. Now let's, we have to try some alternatives. So this is just like pitching anything, whether you're pitching a book proposal or you're pitching a a $20 million deal to a client in the ad sector, right? It doesn't matter. It's all the same stuff.
You've got to gather your data, know your product, know what problem you're solving, and you have to find a way to connect to the other person and make it meaningful to them so they want to do it. They want to say yes. So one of the things I said to her in a message back was, you know, put yourself in their shoes and how can you make this connect or resonate with them?
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Chapter 3: Why is taking chances important for success?
And this is where you need the help and support of others and start eliciting support and asking for help and finding other like-minded people to join in on this with you that share your purpose and passion.
So again, the point of this whole story is I get so many messages like this, not about domestic violence in particular, but people saying I'm starting a business and it's just not taking off or I want to get promoted and it hasn't happened.
The reality is it's so good and so critical to have those goals, have the clear intention, write these things down, revisit them daily, what your dreams are, visualize them happening, speak them into existence and surround yourself with people that are going to hold you accountable and challenge you to grow and
and can advocate for you and cheer you on, and of course be your own cheerleader during this whole process, but you also have to do the work. And I think sometimes people just forget about that part. Maybe we don't talk enough about it, but it's hard work. A lot of times people will reach out to me and they ask, oh my gosh, I followed your journey. It's super inspiring.
Can you share with me how I can break into the top 50 lists of keynote speakers? And those are the moments I scratch my head because here's the thing. This is just real time example. I started speaking publicly on stages when I was 25 years old. That's more than 20 years ago. So I've been putting the reps in on public speaking for 20 years. That's crazy. I mean, that's crazy.
I can't even tell you how many speeches I've given, thousands across the course of my life, right? So you've gotta do the work. You've gotta put the reps in. You've gotta take chances. I mean, I almost fell on my face at the Drift Sales and Marketing Conference right before the pandemic when I was interviewing Sarah Blakely live on stage. I was so flipping nervous. My feet were sweating so bad.
And my Louboutin almost fell off. I almost face planted and I had to make it into a joke. But the reason why I share that with you is this hasn't gone seamlessly. I'm constantly pressuring myself and pushing myself to the next level. When I gave my TEDx talk, I almost choked in the warm ups that morning. I literally words did not come out of my face.
I don't even know how I walked out on the stage that day. But by constantly pushing myself into fear, constantly challenging myself to go to that next level, not knowing what the outcome will be. I never know what the outcome is going to be. But it's about living in that possibility and knowing that if I'm growing, I'm going the right direction. Right.
And that I just had this faith that I believe. in my purpose, I believe in my passion, and I truly believe in myself, doesn't mean I'm gonna kill it every single time, but as long as I move forward with that faith into that unknown and step into that possibility, that's where all the magic really happens.
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Chapter 4: How can we stop letting rejection define our future?
And because I've shared my story so many times ad nauseum about this, and I do it because I want people to know they're not alone. And just because you got fired doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. I remember people kind of implied that to me when I got fired, like, oh my gosh, don't let anyone know. So super embarrassing. Why? It's not embarrassing. Instead, flip that, right?
It's not rejection. It's redirection into something so much bigger. Maybe this is God's plan in motion, not unfolding the way that I plan for it because it's so much bigger. It's so much greater. And I would have never found it if I hadn't been fired, if I hadn't had this catalyst into something bigger. so exciting, so unknown, and be willing to step into that possibility.
So I've received all of these messages this week about people getting fired and people freaking out, right? Which I totally get. I freaked out the first 24 hours, literally crying under a weighted blanket with a bottle of Chardonnay in my hand, flipping out, lost my mind, panic, panic, panic, panic. But I chose to flip it around, and I would challenge you to do this.
In my new book, Overcome Your Villains, there's a three-step process to overcome any adversity that you face. And the first step, which is what I put into motion 24 hours after getting fired, when I said, okay, pity party's over. I'm not making progress. If I'm going to sit and lay on a couch drinking Chardonnay and crying forever, that's not going to work. I said, pump the brakes, let's do this.
Let's boil this belief that, you know, my life is over and I've lost everything down to the most simplistic shred of fact that may be there. And when I boiled it down, I realized I had lost a paycheck. I didn't lose my business acumen. I didn't lose my network. I didn't lose my expertise. I didn't lose my experience. I didn't lose the opportunities ahead of me. I didn't lose my health.
I didn't lose my friendships. I didn't lose anything but a paycheck. And once I distilled it down to that simple truth, it became much more doable, livable and impossible to move forward. And I was able to get up and then I put a post up on social media. I took action. That's step number two. And I asked for help. I put a post up saying, hey, I've just been fired.
And if I've ever helped you at all in the last couple of decades, I need to hear from you now. That post went viral and landed me on the Elvis Duran show. Right.
So
All of these things that were happening, I had no idea what the outcome would be. I had no idea. I didn't have a clear intention other than I just wanted to move forward back then. It wasn't like I was sitting on the couch saying, I want to be a bestselling author. I want to have a top business podcast. I want to be a phenomenal keynote speaker. I did not have any of these ideas back then.
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Chapter 5: What role does storytelling play in connecting with others?
Looking like I'm killing it on the outside, but really killing myself on the inside because I wasn't happy working side by side with someone who didn't respect me, didn't encourage me, wasn't a champion of mine. And for years I was beating my head against a wall saying, why am I, have I not been nominated to the board? I keep pitching myself. I'm so obviously the right person for this next move.
And then it took me getting fired and a year later landing my first board seat with HealthLinked. And now I'm on a team of people who love me and are my champions and I love working with and I have so much fun with because I'm at a table where people want me to be. I'm not sitting at a table where people secretly don't want me to be.
So again, I had no idea about any of this back when it all went down, but getting fired was the biggest blessing and redirection for me and opportunity. to step into who I was really meant to be. But you don't know those things in the moment, right? You can only see the dots connect when you look backwards. It's impossible to see it looking forward.
You have to move forward in faith and find that faith within you however you can when you look back across your life and think of other moments or times that you were in these uncertain situations and didn't know what was possible.
And slowly things started to unfold, grab onto that as proof that this situation or this time, whether it be that, you know, you just ended a relationship or you were fired from a job, or you're trying to start something differently, or in a window where you're struggling with your child, maybe that challenge is actually setting you up to teach you a lesson or teach that other person a lesson for growth.
That's setting you up for so much more success in the future. You just don't know it yet, right? So just realize you can't see the dots connecting looking forward. You can only see that looking back. And I'm constantly struggling, even to this day.
Gosh, it's crazy how many times I've reinvented myself, how many times I've started over, how many times I've done things people told me I could never do, which I find incredibly entertaining. But all of this, I still today at 48 years old have to challenge myself all the time When I have a low moment, when I'm discouraged, when I feel like, why did this happen? This wasn't supposed to happen.
I'm so sad. Or this wasn't the way it was supposed to be, right? When I'm bummed out or I didn't get my way or what I wanted, I have to pump the brakes again and say, wait a minute. This isn't about being sad. This isn't about feeling bad about things not going the way I wanted. Maybe it's about appreciating this moment and appreciating that when everything is uncertain, anything is possible.
And I don't know how these dots are going to connect. And I don't know where this redirection is taking me. But when I look back, it's always taking me to something bigger, better. And God's plan is always going to be better and bigger than mine. I've got to turn it over. So I've been struggling with this idea of surrender my whole entire life. I am so disciplined this year at mastering this.
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Chapter 6: Why is surrendering control essential for finding peace?
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You can create your own AI avatar and you tell it what to say. Now you're charging. You are getting reoccurring revenue every single month. And anyone can do this by just showing up and sharing your expertise, teaching the things from. jujitsu, to working out, to how to cook, to how to bake bread, to how to create confidence.
Anything that you're an expert in, anything that you're great at, you can now monetize. The platform, it's already there, it already exists, and it's easy to do. Why not start making your passion in life your side hustle and start getting $10,000 to $50,000 a month just showing up, teaching what you already know. It's easy, it's not hard to do, And it's ready for you.
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Chapter 7: How does forgiveness benefit the one who forgives?
But for me in church today, I had this really powerful realization that I've never really stopped to forgive my biological father for not being there. So I did that today, which was super emotional and interesting all at the same time. But I do believe that forgiveness is always the way to go. When we don't forgive, we only hurt ourselves. So if there's someone in your life
that you're thinking, oh, that person's awful, or I don't want to forgive them, please try. Not for them, but for you. You know, when you take that poison pill, hoping that you're going to be hurting them, you're only hurting and harming you and your loved ones and the people around you, right? So free yourself up. I get that it's a lot of work.
Oh my gosh, I've worked on this for a couple of years now around this topic of forgiveness. I've forgiven the woman that... I've forgiven everyone and anyone in my life. And then today I'd forgotten about my biological father and I forgave him too. So back to the collection about quote unquote daddy issues, you know, Pastor Rich was talking about how God is our father and God is the whole father.
Most of us did not have that, you know, amazing father position. experience here in this life, but God has always been always loving, always kind, always forgiving, you know, always proud, always welcoming, always there, never leaving, never abandoning, right? So it's this whole concept that
Even if you didn't have that ideal father, that protection, you know, providing for that support, that visionary, that God has always been that. God is our father and has always been there for you. And you are not alone and you never were alone. And to start receiving that love. which is such a beautiful, profound message. And my son and I both loved it so much today.
So then Pastor Rich got into this whole story about a friend of his who he hadn't been in touch with in a while, called him the other day and said, hey, I don't know if you've heard, my son was attacked by a shark. We're actually in the hospital in Miami. Would you come by? And he said, yeah, can I bring my kids? And so he brought his two boys with him.
And they went to visit this 10-year-old boy who had just had his leg amputated after a shark attack. His father is a pastor as well. And so our pastor got there with his sons, and he said it was just incredible to see their faith and how they saw it as a blessing that he was alive. And they were, you know, praising God and praising Jesus that...
He had been saved and this 10 year old boy was just feeling so lucky to be alive and how grateful they all were and what a beautiful teaching it was for his boys and for everyone to experience this love in the room together, this healing. It was just so, it was such a beautiful story, such a horrible event. What a scary event for any child or parent or anyone.
And then to hear how they saw it as such a beautiful gift and how they chose to receive it and celebrate it. And so the 10 year old boy was explaining to Pastor Rich that he and his father had been talking and that they had decided that now that his leg had been amputated and he was healing, that he needed a couple of weeks of healing and he was going to do some physical therapy and whatnot.
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Chapter 8: What can we learn from the shark attack story about courage and healing?
He said, Mom, I've been complaining all weekend because of my back. And I've been saying in my mind, this is like the worst weekend. And he couldn't go out. And, you know, we're moving. And so I'm running around the house like a maniac saying, clean up this and pack this and blah, blah, blah. Right.
So it's not like we're not in his eyes living his best life right now, which is what he likes to do. When you're in Miami, you want to be going out and living your best life. And he didn't really get to do that this weekend. So he was feeling bad for himself when we got there.
And he shared with me, he said, after hearing that message and hearing about that young boy and hearing about how he's going back in the water and hearing about how he's turning this into a blessing, he said, it just made me realize if my biggest issues in life is my back hurts from my workout, I don't have any problems. And I was so grateful to hear him say that.
But then for me, you know, I thought to myself, wow, in my mind, I had been, you know, I was at furniture stores this weekend. Like I was definitely feeling like, you know, a lot of my friends are away on vacation this weekend and I didn't go. I wanted to go so bad, but I knew it would be so irresponsible if I went.
But instead I needed to do the work to get ready because we're closing on my condo this Friday and we're moving in a couple of weeks. That's a whole other story that I will... I'll probably share it with you next week. But anyhow, it all worked out amazing. It's all working out amazing. But all of this going on, I was kind of in the same mindset. My son was like, oh, this stinks.
You know, having to stay in impact, having to be on the phone with movers, having to interview these different companies, having to go to furniture stores. what a blessing all of those things are, right? What an absolute blessing. And we both walked out of there with this complete perspective shift that, no, we're not having a bad weekend.
If these are our biggest problems, we are so incredibly blessed. And I am so grateful. And I'll tell you, it's just, it was such a powerful experience today. I hope you had a powerful, positive experience today, something that you can be grateful for. So I got home and I decided to do a post about gratitude. And what are you grateful for today? I was asking my community.
And this one woman wrote back, oh my gosh, the sweetest thing. She said something like, I just cleaned my house and I'm so grateful that I have a house I get to clean. I just am finishing doing the laundry for my entire family. And I'm feeling so grateful that I have a family that I love that I get to take care of. And it was so beautiful.
It was just on her own, just this perspective that instead of complaining about doing more laundry or complaining about having to clean a house, how lucky and grateful we can be instead. So I'm hoping that you can find that gratitude today for whatever it is that you're grateful for. I'm grateful to be alive. I am grateful that I am closing on my house this week.
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