How to Stop Delaying Happiness While Pursuing Big Goals with Jess Ekstrom

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Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan 53 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 4 months ago
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What does it mean to stop chasing a problem-free life?

Jess Ekstrom 0:00
Don't try to achieve things to have zero problems. Do things that have problems you're excited to solve. And once I realized that like, oh, there are not these like thresholds that launch you into like a zero inbox, no problems. It's all about like, do you like the problems you're solving? Do you like the people that you're with? Do you like the lifestyle that it affords? And it just changed from these like singular finish line outcomes to a more evolving process that just makes it more fun and also more scalable.
Unknown 0:38
Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up.

How can you evaluate if your goals align with your values?

Heather Monahan 0:50
Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, this week we have a repeat guest on because she's unbelievable and you're going to love her because you might not have heard her. It's been a minute since she's been on the show. Jess Ekstrom, she's the founder of Headbands of Hope and Mic Drop Workshop investor and women bestselling author, Forbes top rated speaker. and she's a mom her first brush with success was selling all of her toys on ebay when she was 12. since then jess and her companies have been featured on the today show good morning america and more more importantly her companies have helped millions of women and girls around the world this is true she's the best-selling author of chasing the bright side that's when i met you and making it without losing it her hobbies include writing hiking board games with her husband playing hide and seek with our kids you're hilarious and searching for the best
Heather Monahan 1:39
Breakfast Burrito in America. Jess, thank you so much for being here.
Jess Ekstrom 1:43
Oh my God, thanks for having me. Before we get started, I have to share something with your listeners about you.

What is a success fingerprint and how do you define yours?

Jess Ekstrom 1:48
Can I do that? Of course. So I just have to say that a lot of people talk about like, oh, women supporting women and you know, blah, blah, blah, which of course, you know that I stand for. But I just have to say how you... don't talk the talk, you walk the walk. As soon as I mentioned that I had a book coming out, you were like, here, let's get you on my show. Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And I think a lot of people are quick to give like encouragement and not a lot of people are quick to give opportunity. And you are so willing and generous with giving opportunity. I mean, you've made introductions for me for speaking.

How do you shift from singular goals to a mission-driven approach?

Jess Ekstrom 2:26
You're like, just so... you walk the walk and I just really appreciate it. And yeah, I just really appreciate you.
Heather Monahan 2:36
Oh my gosh, I appreciate you. You're the exact same. You're always making introductions, asking how you can help. And what's funny is in contrast, as you and I were just talking, I was speaking at a conference in Costa Rica for the last five days I was gone. And while I was there, I got a text from someone. This person will be unnamed because I don't like naming people when it's negative. But this person, who is not a woman, sent me a message.

Why is tying happiness to a finish line detrimental?

Heather Monahan 3:00
I hadn't spoken to this person in months. And it's someone in our arena, you know, We're all like when we can help each other out, we want to. And not everyone always feels the same way. And I understand that. But this person sent me a note and just said, hey, need this intro and dropped a name into a chat to me, which is like, stop. It was interesting because, and this is super valuable, I hope for everyone, because we all need to remind ourselves of this. If you want someone to do something for you, especially a big ask, right? Because if someone has a coveted name or someone... Nobody wants me giving it, nor are you giving out all their information and saying, oh, yeah, let me go ahead and connect you.

How can you zoom out to align daily actions with long-term goals?

Heather Monahan 3:36
That's that's annoying. Right. And so when you want someone to do something for you, lead first with how you can help other people. And like that is truly how you lead. And it was just disheartening for me or disappointing, I guess, is a better word to see this person show up and just kind of like command an intro to somebody.

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