Join the boys as they try to solve a murder mystery. Hunter and Isaiah roleplay as cops for the reading of S.F. Barkley's detective story. And for some reason, they keep getting taken off the case! I'M NOT OUT OF LINE, YOU'RE OUT OF LINE! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Chapter 1: What is the story about that the hosts are discussing?
Welcome back to Creepcast. Today, we're diving into a deliciously evil tale called I'm a cop and I keep getting called to the same house. Nice little cops episode.
Chapter 2: Who is the author of the story and what is her background?
This is a cop episode. So this one's been recommended a few times in the comment section and whatnot. So looking into the author, her name is S.F. Barkley. And she was like in real life, a former police officer in Western Pennsylvania. Hmm. who while she was a police officer experienced several strange and like supernatural calls.
So she started writing about them like online on no sleep, stuff like that. And since then has been a part of several anthology stories where there's been like collective writers groups, uh, but has written her own novel as well called patch lane, which looking at it right now with 430 reviews, it has 4.3 stars on Amazon, which is pretty high. Uh, Patch Lane. Patch Lane.
The description for the book says, Sarah Hastings is a rookie cop who works the night shift in Amber Forest, a small rural town in western Pennsylvania. After repeatedly responding to an abandoned and allegedly haunted farmhouse for 911 hang-up calls, she discovers a dead body in a secret room. So... It's about a police officer who's on an investigation, supposedly supernatural.
It looks pretty highly rated. And this story that we're going to read today is from six years ago. And like I said, it's very highly rated in the subreddit and a bunch of people have told us to check it out. So if this is good, you can check out SF Barkley's other works on Amazon. It looks like they're all sold on Amazon. Shout out wherever you want to support her. SF Barkley.
Uh, also check this one out.
It looks like us. Go ahead. What was I saying? Well, we, we have not read the story. We're like, go there right now and buy it. And then the story sucks.
And we're like, I said, I gave the clause. If it's good, if it's good, I gave, I gave the clause. I'm so glad that you guys were so happy about the eat me like a bug thing. I won't be like a bug. Eat me. I was fighting for my life with the editor. She made a joke to my wife about cutting it, and I was calling her like, you better not. And I'm glad it paid off. I'm glad it paid off.
I threatened to do horrible things to her future business opportunity. Destroy, burn the future to the ground. Exactly, yeah. Yeah, so I'm glad you all appreciate it.
I don't know if our merch is still up, but if it's still up now, this is probably closing into when the hoodies and stuff and those pre-orders are going to be done. Mind you, we have to manufacture them, so it's going to take a sec, so just fucking bear with us, dude.
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Chapter 3: What paranormal events are hinted at in the story?
She listens to the show, so that's a threat. That's a direct threat, Chris. Just a joke.
oh god i threw up a little bit i will say this too um i did i can't remember if i told you this last time i did get before we get too deep into this because this is a very controversial thing with the cops and stuff and i have a controversial opinion i got a bidet um and it is so cold i did i cheaped out and i got the one that did not have it doesn't have a heater
isaiah when i tell you i was watching titanic the other day and i kate winslet at the end of that movie when she's like shivering and her her lips are blue that's what my looks like every time i take a and use my bidet i don't think it's possible that a bidet could give you a chemical peel through freezing the lips of your but it happens to me every time
So now I'm in a perpetual state of frostburn. I've been frostbitten so many times. To the point where it makes... Because I used to look forward to having a nice shit to start your day. Not anymore. I've given up on coffee and Red Bull because that extreme pressure of cold water peeling the dead skin layer off my gray asshole is so intense that it wakes you up immediately. So...
Oh, this is just that was the controversial opinion. But I will say that if you're going to get the bidet, get the heated one. That's all I had to say. That's it. That's that's that's my message.
I'm a local rookie cop in a small town in Pennsylvania, currently stuck working night shift. I work the normal patrol shift, driving around, pulling traffic, responding to your normal domestic disputes, and whatever other wonderful calls dispatch sends my way. But ever since this past weekend, every single night I keep getting calls at the same house.
At first I thought it was my coworkers playing pranks on the rookie. I have two years on the job, but in such a small town, I work with most guys my dad's age. I've omitted certain names and addresses for obvious reasons. Anyway, here's what happened. Friday night, around 0200 hours, so actually Saturday morning, dispatch gets over the radio.
Dispatch to 1034.
1034, go ahead.
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Chapter 4: What was discovered in the basement of the haunted house?
Yeah, he's wearing either a female body inspector shirt or he's wearing the shirt that's like a tuxedo, but it's just a short sleeve shirt.
Yeah. Yeah. It was like in time. You want, I think the body's here somewhere. Oh, that. Yeah. Well, I think we have that.
I thought you meant, I thought you were talking about something else, but he's actually getting me pizza rolls from the store right now.
So just like underneath a corpse, like eating, like warmed up. He knows it's like the grease is dripping all over the body. Good. Ah,
the chief medical examiner wasn't exactly eager to help but I grabbed my cruiser's keys and headed on over to the lab the assistant was a young girl fresh out of college greeted me with a smile hello officer how can I help you asked her for a copy of the ME's report from patch lane and she proceeded to enter some letters into her computer then hit print she handed me a three page document so I asked aren't there more pages nope that's it
I found this very odd considering most medical autopsy reports for a homicide case are all well over 20 or 30 pages. I took a seat to look over the report and I guess my confusion and anger showed on my face since the receptionist asked if there was a problem. So I reviewed the autopsy report. I saw that for the hair color, which was clearly long and blonde, they listed brunette.
For eye color, they listed undetermined. I wish this was the end of the shit show, but the entire report seemed to be either wrong or just incomplete. The manner of death was listed as homicide, but the cause of death was listed as undetermined. What the hell? Isn't that their job to determine the cause of death?
I marched over to the chief medical examiner's office and knocked twice before walking in. Chief, is this just a skeleton report from the Patch Lane incident? Held up a three-page document in my hands to show him. A skeleton report is just a basic report cops will fill out prior to end of shift, and then the next day, with fresh eyes, they fill in the gaps.
However, with the homicide case and being that this was now over 48 hours later, I didn't understand why they would only have a skeleton report.
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Chapter 5: How did the police respond to the 911 calls from the haunted house?
Chapter 6: What controversy arises during the investigation of the body?
Oh my God, you might be the most beautiful angel I've ever seen. I'm surprised God let you come down from heaven.
I don't mean to be too forward here, but you have an amazing rack. Can I say that? I don't mean to be too harsh, but it's just a fact.
I like to be very subtle, but I would love to make love to you at any point. I hate to impose this question because I pride myself on my subtlety, but are your nipples tiny or are they the big pancake ones? Just tell me, I gotta know.
He's like taking his clothes off.
Yeah, she's like... Without everyone's acting so far, I would not surprise me. This medical, this fucking police department sucks.
She's like, why did you list the hair color as brunette? And he's like naked rubbing oil on himself.
He's like, coconut oil is great for the skin, sweetheart.
I would like to take you on a date tonight. What do you say?
I'm going to take you to the fanciest restaurant called Olive Garden. Free breadsticks, sweetheart. Do you like bread? She's like, do I like bread? Oh, yeah. They even put leaves in there. She's like, it's spices. It's oregano. No, no, no.
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