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Dan Does Footy

Unofficial Rivalry Round

14 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What controversies surround the Zach Butters incident?

0.031 - 21.16 Dan

It's given massive. I'm telling on you and I'm running away because if you try and convince me not to tell them by bribing them or changing my mind that maybe I'm crazy for making something up, I don't want to think that, so I'm running away. Apparently the umpire microphone didn't pick up what Zach Butters allegedly said to the umpire.

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21.26 - 53.691 Dan

And now we have no idea what was actually said and we're not being told. I'm not buying that one because standing in his ear and you're telling me the microphone's not working? Not buying it because Butters is in his back pocket. Welcome back, you rats, to this Wild Wednesday. Big, big round of football coming up. We've got the closest thing we can get to a rivalry round, which is exciting.

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54.813 - 63.889 Dan

Let's just get to it. A lot of feedback from YouTube side about the speed of the banner. Ash, you've obviously got the microphone in front of your face. Anything you want to...

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63.869 - 88.054 Unknown

confess or just bring up about that speed of the banner look it's the first time we've had a full round of every team playing with all those stats and chucking them in i just completely forgot to check afterwards yeah the speed that i had it up um and you're chucking all those stats in you think it's gonna be the same as last week but with four more teams playing the normal it's gonna speed it up

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88.034 - 112.202 Unknown

it's hard to explain so what you're saying is there's way too many stats to fill in and you just needed to get them all in and that's why you sped it up yeah so people yeah because there's an hour and 45 minute show so didn't have enough time to get them all through people were exactly yeah yeah with the speed it was going i also didn't really i just wanted to brush over that melbourne game especially yeah and also just you know get quicker at reading oh yeah we're gonna make them faster i was able to really test the community there was some funny comments

112.672 - 133.738 Dan

Is it fast now? Is it still flying across the screen now? We can't see it. I think everyone will like it. This guy, Joe, the stats are flying across the screen. Rolling banner moving faster than the terms and conditions on an old infomercial. That's very funny. I can't focus with the stats fucking zooming like that. Well done. So we're good. We're back to the normal programming on the stats? Yes.

134.279 - 140.046 Dan

Normal speed. Okay. Good. Great. Happy days, Joe. Big round coming up. Excited? Feelings? Thoughts? Feelings?

140.195 - 142.76 Unknown

Yeah, excited is the thoughts and feelings. Yeah, I like that.

143.742 - 145.266 Dan

Sorry, Ash, do you want something?

Chapter 2: How do players perceive the rivalry round in AFL?

147.089 - 166.819 Dan

Oh, my bad. I thought before we get into news and things that are happening, big day, big, big day, obviously, as we are speaking at time of record, Zach Butters is going to court, fighting for his life. You'd think he'd murdered someone. So we know as much as what we've been told, but it's very blurry, which we'll get to at the moment. But I just want to do this thing.

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166.839 - 186.283 Dan

I saw it on social already during the rounds in other sports. But I want to talk about footballers who don't look like footballers. And if they weren't a footballer for their job, what would they be doing? So I just went through the list and quickly did a few, and I've got a couple here. Yeah, how many? A few. So ready? I've got a few as well. Elliot Himmelberg.

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187.09 - 204.648 Dan

Looks like he'd take mountain tour guides in Scandinavia. If you went overseas, you wouldn't be surprised if he's just there taking you for a tour. Yeah. He's just in your hostel waiting to help you out. Just taking up a mountain, down and back, look at the views. Then Nick Martin. You can walk into any H&R block, tell them your taxes.

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205.609 - 227.696 Dan

Nick Martin be sitting there saying, just hand over what you've got. I'll sort it out. Accountant. Then I've got Noah Bolter. Obviously a nightclub bouncer. Looks like a guy who would tell you, hey, I've warned you three times not to vape on the dance floor. You vaped. I'm going to launch you outside the doors. I don't even think he's going to go warn you. No, no. He'd just throw you out.

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227.776 - 241.956 Dan

He'd just throw you out. Logan McDonald. Looks like a well-respected high school principal, but at a private high school. Just looks like a nice button-up man who'd say, hey, this is the rules for assembly here.

241.976 - 242.957 Unknown

Yeah, these are all compliments.

242.977 - 260.378 Dan

These are great. These are great. Ruben Gimby. Uh, he looks like he'd be the lifeguard at the top of a slide at like a, you know, a wet and wild or some kind of aquatic park. He'd be telling you when it's clear to go down the slide or not on the accurate. Yeah. Clear. You can go down now.

260.698 - 273.334 Dan

And then last one, I have Oscar Baker, just an actor, but not like, not like a mainstream, your Tom Cruise actor, just a behind the scenes feeling actor as an extra. And more specifically for pirate based movies.

274.676 - 274.776

Yeah.

Chapter 3: What are the predictions for the Carlton vs. Collingwood game?

340.444 - 341.104 Unknown

Yeah, what's he up to?

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341.125 - 357.992 Dan

He's still there. He left the Pies. Most really close with him, aren't you? Are you close with him? No. Looks like he must have got a big deal. He must have got a big deal from North to go from the Pies to North. Coached him. And it's working. Well, yeah, I guess so. Maybe that is what it's down to. A guy who looks like me. It's a physio.

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358.292 - 381.864 Dan

As you said at the top, as we're recording right now, 3.30, the tribunal, the court hearing is Zach Butters versus Nick Foote is going live right now. So we'll give you some rolling updates as it happens. I'm predicting just a six-hour hearing. David Zeta is going to be weathered by the time he comes out of that thing. This whole thing is so funny. I love how much of a circus this whole thing is.

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382.505 - 402.439 Dan

Nick Foote has messed up massively. So we know what Butters allegedly asked Nick Foote or said to Nick Foote. He said, or we think, how much are they paying you? Now, the audio is horrible. Who knows what he's actually saying, but lots of sources are coming out and saying different things as they do. We have... you know, contacts with people and things. A lot of things come across our desk.

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402.459 - 417.259 Dan

A lot of those aren't true. You're nervous now about the Ben King one? That's 100% confirmed again. A lot of people got it right when they said you also said that Ben King was about to resign. I ratted myself out for that one. You got ahead of it. But a lot of stuff has come across our desk. So I wrote it down here.

418.48 - 424.188 Dan

One I have heard this morning at the cafe, heard that he said to Ollie Wines, where are they playing you?

425.069 - 425.149

Hmm.

425.753 - 437.631 Dan

So if you pause the actual graphic of where Nick Foote is standing, Zach Butters and Ollie Wines, they're so close to each other. So that could have been one thing that was said. They're just awkwardly and weirdly close.

437.651 - 455.144 Unknown

And the fact that Wines looks so confused as to why Butters got reported. I can believe that one. Yeah, it makes that so much more believable. And also, they might not want to like... discredit the coaching and their picks of like, hey, why are you playing there when you're like, you've won a Brownlow medal in the midfield, maybe we need you in here.

Chapter 4: What insights are shared about the upcoming Geelong vs. Bulldogs match?

568.186 - 581.308 Dan

And they run and they hold hands to the 50. Yeah, they cheers beers. Yeah, they run hands and, you know, Nick Foote holds his hand running him to the 50 to the goal square because they're laughing so much about how they're getting along. That's the world I want to live in. Instead, we're going to a tribunal for this.

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582.41 - 588.921 Unknown

It is a bit absurd. And it sort of brings back that old conversation about do we need umpires being full time?

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589.627 - 609.508 Unknown

man that we do i can't believe they're not i mean well the only thing that i can think of that would halt that is the career pathway after umpiring because you know that like footy players they're not going to be able to umpire for the rest of their lives like you have to it's physically taxing to be able to run around that field so do they need to implement a system where they can do transition pathways so you can become a commercial real estate agent when you finish

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609.488 - 621.102 Dan

And that is a good pathway to go down. It has to be something. The NFL tried to put on their referees full-time. That didn't work for them. I'm not sure why, but I would assume because there's so many games all over the country, bigger country.

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621.242 - 624.246 Unknown

Some of them actually are. And then the rest of them are lawyers.

624.747 - 640.607 Dan

It's like really common for them to be lawyers. And they're contracted refs. So their actual contract to just referee the 16, 16 games, 17 game season. They get paid a shit ton just to do that. So it could be your full-time job if you really want it to be. Obviously hard with, you know, work and travel if you want, but that's what they do there.

640.807 - 649.458 Dan

The fact that we don't do that, we don't have a base with umpires, there's no place they can go hang out and review games together. Just crazy. So, so crazy.

649.478 - 653.744 Unknown

So what we're saying is we're on Nick Foote's side? No, I'm not on Nick Foote's side at all.

653.764 - 670.524 Dan

Nope. No, no, no, no, no. He fucked this up royally. You're just really trying to claw back to Futter's friendship. I need him to unblock me straight away. There's a bit of that in it, for sure. I put a message out there saying that if he does get fined for this, I'm covering it. But he can't see that because I'm blocked. Yeah, do you reckon anyone passed it on? A lot of people did. Oh, did they?

Chapter 5: How are injuries impacting the teams in this round?

817.506 - 821.431 Unknown

The only way they get a win out of this is if one of them signs a stat deck.

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822.733 - 844.602 Dan

And that means you swear by it and you're willing to die for it. Yeah. That's what it means. Hey, also, stat deck, give me a piece of paper. If I'm a lawyer or some kind of judge in the courtroom, I'm going, couldn't give a shit about that piece of paper. Oh, you wrote a few words down? Okay. Hey, tear that one up. You got some words on a piece of paper? Oh, believe him. Got a stat deck, guys.

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845.203 - 866.034 Dan

Case closed. Why is it closed? Oh, Nick Foote's got a stat deck. What'd he say? Oh, he went to campus warehouse, got it signed. It's actually super high risk to sign a stat deck and lie about it if you go to prison. It's like prison time involved. I'm not opposed to Nick Foote going to prison. I think if Nick is wrong, we said don't ban him or send him to the VFL.

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866.075 - 871.442 Dan

My first thought was get ready to learn VFL, buddy. But now it's get ready to do six months inside.

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871.542 - 874.406 Unknown

Absolutely. Get absolutely jacked and get some sick tats.

874.426 - 895.143 Dan

Yeah. And they'll be like, what are you in for? They're like, murder, armed robbery. How about you? Zach Butters said how much they pay you. Then I sent him to the tribunal and actually I lied. So I've been here for six months. Lied on a stat deck. He'd see some things. That would scare it out of him. He'd get real good at basketball. He'd get good at umpiring too. Wouldn't tell a lie ever again.

895.965 - 898.608 Dan

That's what I think. I think it's got big on him and now he's trying to get out of it.

898.909 - 903.074 Unknown

So the results are clear. It's going to be either Zach Butters plays next week or Nick Foote's in jail.

903.835 - 923.929 Dan

Yeah. Yeah. And okay with both those things. Yeah. I think it's reasonable. And also if he does get fined, Zach Butters, what are we doing? Are you going to pay it? Yeah, I swear by it. Did Baz last year. I swear that I'll pay this one. It's just been an absolute shit show. Imagine he still doesn't acknowledge you after you've paid his fine. I'll be taking that cash back pretty quick.

Chapter 6: What are the expectations for the Adelaide vs. St Kilda game?

1068.111 - 1068.451 Dan

He would be.

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1068.471 - 1070.073 Unknown

I think he's at the racetrack.

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1070.634 - 1090.994 Dan

No, no, no, he's definitely not. I'm just in all this as well, which is getting massively lost. How courageous was Xander going back with the flight there? To see it coming, you know it's coming. Contact, you go back to the flight, all eyes on the ball, and get cleaned up by Zach Butters. He's the best in the business. I haven't seen anything like it since Nick Rebolt. It's unbelievable.

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1091.215 - 1106.039 Dan

So it'll go down in history books as the most courageous thing we've ever seen. Also, just in news, found Jack Inman's car. Is that big? Well done, Jack. Found your car, Jack. Well done. Lives in Richmond. Car was found in Bayswater, which is about 40 minutes away. You won't know where that is because just have you been to Bayswater yet?

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1106.079 - 1106.4 Unknown

Googled it.

1106.54 - 1130.614 Dan

It's like east? Yep. Near... Yep. Out near Dan Longways. Out there. So found that car. Now, I'm not sure it's reported, but I think... Anytime a car gets stolen, I get suspicious straight away. I had a friend who had, you know, the other guys, you know, Dirty Mike and the boys, you know, they leave it like a soup kitchen. Yeah. I'm hearing rumors that his car was like a soup kitchen.

1130.654 - 1139.535 Dan

Just a lot of bodily fluids and hair everywhere. I mean, who hasn't done that though? I've never had an orgy in a car. That's no, not me.

1139.555 - 1140.978 Unknown

Have you used to run around in a Commodore?

1141.599 - 1162.836 Dan

Yeah, I did. I have my collection of guys. One of the all time worst collection of cars. I used to have a Commodore that was just. Couldn't drive over any space. It was hugging the road. It was pretty much driving on bitch. Oh, don't know. Nota. Nota. Notube. Can you play that video? Yeah, it's the best video of all time. I don't know why. I've never found this TikTok video.

Chapter 7: Why is the North Melbourne vs. Richmond match significant?

1171.647 - 1172.769 Unknown

Nota. Nota.

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1180.639 - 1181.44 Ash

Man, this boy coming down the street.

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1181.46 - 1181.62 Unknown

Bicycle.

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1182.462 - 1188.349 Ash

All real. Scootin' and bootin' down the street.

1189.23 - 1192.614 Dan

No attitude. Slide. That's how the guys are going to get into the games.

1193.275 - 1193.575

On the bike.

1194.016 - 1198.942 Dan

Slide. No on it. No back it. Jillian on plate. It goes for so long. It's so good.

1198.962 - 1203.507 Unknown

And every other man there is doing their own monologue. They don't even talk to each other. They're all just filming this one guy.

Chapter 8: What are the implications of the Fremantle vs. West Coast derby?

1400.507 - 1414.783 Dan

Eventually, we think he's got a brand on his mind, if not multiple, but stud. Just an absolute stud. Hasn't won a hit out yet, though. No, he hasn't had that. Everything else he's had. That's probably the only knock on him. You see in 99, ranking the 99 games?

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1415.742 - 1423.569 Unknown

Look, I love him. I reckon he's probably one of my favourite players, but I hate that they did that because this is the shit that, this is the glaze that people get fucked off from.

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1423.589 - 1425.871 Dan

Yeah. And then it rubs off on them hating him for no reason.

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1425.891 - 1433.918 Unknown

Exactly. And it's like, Nick Dacos deserves to be great and deserves to be loved. Yeah. But people hate him because people rank his first 99 games in order.

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1434.278 - 1451.023 Dan

It's, I get what they're trying to do. They get that it's the rage baiting and it gets, you know, people talking and angry and emotions and it's great because it pushes the cycle, but also, zip it up. You know? All right. We get it. We acknowledge how good he is. We get it. He's great. We don't need to rank his 100 games.

1451.164 - 1453.495 Unknown

Yeah. It's just more off-putting than anything.

1453.745 - 1466.449 Dan

Yeah, it is. And I feel that affects people how they view him because he is so great. He's so, so good. Jacob Wiedering, in. Harry Dean, in. Needle movers is what they are. That's what I call them. Will Haywood back? Is he?

1466.469 - 1467.991 Ash

Shaved his head too. Shaved his head.

1468.512 - 1476.968 Dan

Two weeks? No, he got one. He got one. That's huge. Yeah, that's a big in. And then Degoe, out. Just on Will Haywood? Yes.

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