Dear Hank & John
Episodes
236: Connoisseurs of Our Own Embarrassments
20 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do I stop being embarrassed by mail? How do I edit my grandpa's book? Is it selfish to cry on your birthday? How do I live in a place with bugs? W...
235: Do Duck Stuff While Ye May
13 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What happens to ducks when they die? Have you written your will? Why are things blurry even when my face is close to the mirror? What should I grow in...
234: I Know About Drowsy, Too, Buddy
06 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Are the astronauts stuck on the space station right now? What crafts or books can I use to pass the time? Will books still come out on schedule? How d...
233: The Adventures of Yukon John and Glass Foot Hank (w/ Dr. Aaron Carroll!)
30 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do I convince my parents to take social isolation seriously? Can I social distance from the same room? How can I get to know my new town while soc...
232: The Construction Paper Diploma
23 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do I entertain myself during a quarantine? Where is the center of the universe? Why are the letters on a phone keypad upside down from a keyboard ...
231: Bouquet Trebuchet (Live in Raleigh, NC!)
16 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Have you ever added a strange fact to a book? How does a teacher inspire their students? How do I figure out if NASA has aliens? Do lobsters feel pain...
230: The Hot Love of Angry Pigeons
09 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do I stop losing forks? How do I handle my cat's internet fame? What's your favorite bird? How do I quit my job? What do I do when my job runs out...
229: You Don't Know When the Sickness Is Coming (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
02 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Should I go to a concert if my recent ex will be there? How do book blurbs work? Can a two-person book club even function? How do I become a better wr...
228: You Say Banana, I Say Banana (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
24 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How do I cope with my unrequited love for Timothée Chalamet? Why have I started exclusively reading non-fiction? How can I both support and express c...
227: One-Star Statue Reviews
17 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Where do I start with Star Trek? Where does water go when I turn the faucet off? Why does my nose produce more snot when I cry? Should I ask permissio...
226: It Is the Monkey
10 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How close is the sky to the ground? How do you keep the words that captivate you from slipping away? Is it okay to have doubts on the day of your wedd...
225: It’s a Hit and They Get Kicked (Live From St. Petersburg, FL!)
03 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How can I find time to do all the things? If I smack someone with my lower limb prosthetic, am I kicking them? What is the oddest combination of foo...
224: The Octopuscene
27 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What happens to balloons when they fly away into the sky? How do I record a video of myself? Who should you thank? Can bees feel happy and sad? Wh...
223: All at Once for Everyone
20 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What hobbies should I take up while my feet are broken? What would you like to come back as in your next life? Am I "just a teacher"? What is the pro...
222: Just a Man Who’s Lost His Dongle
13 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do with my art money? What do you do if you miss a flight? Are gas giants just tiny planets with big atmospheres? Why does my brain r...
221: Favorites of the 2010s
06 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this special episode of the pod, John Green and Hank Green discuss their favorites of the past decade! Topics include: Favorite bookFavorite poemFa...
220: Haunted Christmas Trees
23 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Is it okay to go to your old house and ask if you can walk through it? How do you research? How do you interject in conversations smoothly? Can y...
219: How to Become Part Crow
16 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What is the proper reaction to a canceled Shawn Mendes concert? When should I wear my fancy diamond gold pretzel necklace? What am I supposed to do wi...
218: Hank & John's Airport Stories
09 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why shouldn't I take my temperature after I eat? Will my fingerprint grow back? How will COPPA affect Crash Course? Can my bottle of frozen water get ...
217: Rocks to Earth 2028!
02 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Can stinging insects sting other insects? What is the scientific difference between stuffy and fresh air? Why aren't there many books about twenty-som...
216: Zombie Turtle Party
25 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why do we say “head over heels”? What should I wear to a Mountain Goats concert? What is the best thing that happened during the 2010s? Do airp...
215: The Big Card
18 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Is it acceptable to put sugar on cottage cheese? Can a Ravenclaw wear Slytherin merch? How do I stop stressing about stress? How do we know what's at ...
214: Crime Dentures
11 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I make a film for dental school? What if my anglerfish doesn’t match my room decor? What should I do with a bag full of 1500 pictures of pr...
213: Baddy One Shoe
04 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why don't we sink in sand? How do I not freak out about all the time I'm wasting? Do naughty people only wear one shoe? Why do microwaves rotate food...
212: The Billionaire Cactus Ghost
28 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What can I do with my cactus costume? What do you do when people you don't know recognize you? Why are all the ghosts so old? Where do grownups keep t...
211: You Can Tik Whatever You Can Tok, Baby (Live from VidCon Australia w/ Zach Kornfeld!)
21 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What is the least dumb way to ask someone out? What’s your strategy for winning Seven Wonders? How did you start from nothing? If you can portray...
210: Chest Moose Tattoo (w/ SciShow Tangents!)
14 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What's going on with microbes? What happens when an astronaut sneezes in space? Why do we have toes? Should I dress fancier? Why aren’t there drone...
209: Sword Dabbing (Live from Minneapolis, MN!)
07 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How should I invest to survive a financial downturn? How often do I really need to change my underwear? Am I a bag? How do help seventh graders? Sho...
208: Speedo Minotaur Guy (Live from Madison, WI!)
23 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why is my instinct to hug my dogs too hard? If you had to move to Sesame Street, who would you want to be your neighbor? How do you know when the stor...
207: The Still Escalators of Doom
16 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why are unmoving escalators so disconcerting? What do I do about the plant that died while I was house sitting? What should I tell people who think ...
206: If You Can't Put Your Mouth There... (with Andrew Levitt AKA Nina West!)
09 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How should I act around my professor who is also my peer? Do the knobs on toasters control heat or time? How do I not get matching tattoos with my mom...
205: Piggy Bank Toughness
02 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Should I call this strange number back? What have I missed on the pod? Why are your faves your faves? Don't you need more than lemons for lemonade? Ho...
204: Quiet, Subdued, and Possibly Illicit
26 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I make this flesh-eating bacteria sound safe? How do I tell my housemate not to get a crockpot? Am I as unlikeable as the character I wrote? ...
203: Joy, Attention, Justice, Hips Don't Lie
19 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What do I do with 15 pounds of cornbread? Where do song lyrics live in our brains? Why are we here? How did people get answers before Google? How ofte...
202: Pants Clone
12 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Where are the natural wheels? How do I make a conspiracy theorist understand that space exists? What are SEO tools? Should we market climate change be...
201: Giant Stone Abraham Lincoln 2020
05 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Can a sentient statue run for president? How do I attend a show solo? How can I be bougie enough for art frames? Could Elsa solve climate change? ...
200: Only If You Got Enough Life Jackets
29 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What is the setup for this joke? What's with people waving from boats? Why don't cartoons change their outfits? How do I tell someone I’ll be back...
199: The Best of Dear Hank & John #2!
22 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Over the last couple years, John and Hank have bestowed upon the world some true gems of advice and anecdotes. We compiled some favorites in one epi...
198: No Ticket Out
15 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What's with birthday cake flavor? How do we know where we are in space? Are we the last generation of humans? Is it safe to shower when the power is ...
197: It's All About Empowerment! (w/ Jenny Owen Youngs!)
08 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I promote myself? Are museums better explored individually or as a group? What should I do with memorabilia I don't intend to display? What do ...
196: There Is Nothing You Are Not
01 Jul 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How did they decide doorbells should go ding dong? How do I get my coworkers out of my personal life? Why does Hank have button-up jeans? How do you n...
195: Fun with Bob and John!
24 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do with all these keys? How do I unrecommend a raunchy novel to my grandma? What's a good psychology team name? What is the most effecti...
194: Fortunately, They Are Not Carnivores
17 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I advance past the waving stage of acquaintanceship? What does one do at conferences? My friend based a character off of me but the character s...
193: It's Like a Pool of Liver!
10 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Why do I cry more easily as I get older? What is SPF? What are healthy methods to combat loneliness? What should I do if I busted a hole in the wall...
192: Raised on a Yacht (w/ Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft!)
03 Jun 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Vanessa Hill of BrainCraft joins Hank to answer your questions! Has it ever not been raining? Can I change my major if I have a scholarship? Should ...
191: The Engagement Duck
27 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What is the dress code if there is no dress code? Where can I be anxious at work? What should I do with 72 tall vases? How can I avoid having to do d...
190: The Top Three Best Things About Sneezing Underwater
20 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I get people to remember who I am? What do I do about the Red Bull I spilled in a kid's backpack? How do I deal with my girlfriend's unacceptin...
189: Weird Statistics
13 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Do a lot of people swerve? What constitutes black coffee? How do I make mac and cheese if I don't have milk? What is the rage/luck relationship when i...
188: The Imperial Bridal March
06 May 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What is the proper thing to do with abandoned table beer? What's the best way to spend time on trains? How do I move on when my favorite show ends? Ho...
187: The Uncle Mike Way of Life
29 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I fairly distribute my hugs? Could black holes suck up the Earth? How do I change the way I walk? How can I support my stressed-out dad? What's...
186: The Morlon Wiley Way In
22 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do you open an envelope? How do companies turn attention into money? What's the deal with the itsy bitsy spider? And more! Get your signed desk sw...
185: Time-Traveling Battle Axes
15 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Who owns the bones? Why are American coins so confusing? Would dragon eggs have scales? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com/dearhankandjohn I...
184: Lady with the Time Piece (w/ Helen Zaltzman!)
08 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do you deal with saying something wrong publicly? How far does a squirrel's social sphere extend? Can I ask my friend questions about her surge...
183: John's Subway Safety Procedures
01 Apr 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do you stay focused on one project for a long time? Should I tell this stranger to examine their zipper? Are there other kinds of ketchup? And mor...
182: It’s All Hermeneutics to Me
25 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Are our voices actually slightly deeper? What's going on with paperclips? How do I keep out the chickens? And more! Follow us on Twitter! twitter.com...
181: Comforting Existential Crises (w/ Jana Hisham!)
18 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
When are you too old to read YA? How do you get lost in a healthy way? Are there entire civilizations on the bottom of the ocean? And more! Check out ...
180: The Bird Thunderdome (w/ Katherine Green!)
11 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I win the bird hospitality battle? Are the keys part of the car? How do I get better at creative writing? And more! You can listen to more Hank...
179: The Queen's Dream Job (w/ Danielle Bainbridge!)
04 Mar 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Should I pretend to dislike my sister? How do I not put too much pressure on my dream job? How much salt does it take to mummify a person? And more! K...
178: Snack Man! (Live at PodCon!)
25 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I propose to my girlfriend if I can't get down on one knee? How do I get rid of a bad nickname? Should I cause chaos? And more! This episode wa...
177: Gum Influencers
18 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I know if I'm being a know-it-all? How do we survive the 2020 presidential election? At what point does a flying fish become a swimming bird? A...
176: The Celebrity Life Coaches of Your Dreams
11 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Should penguins go to Mars? Why do we chew rubber? Is this frantic, indecisive squirrel okay? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us ...
175: Burn It All!!!!
04 Feb 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What should I put in my journal? Should I sign a card for someone I don't know? What do I do when strangers tell me my shoes are untied? And more! If ...
174: The Mysterious "Stolen" Car
28 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Am I too old to race down hotel hallways? Is there a stranger in my attic? How do you make plans with a subgroup of friends? And more! If you're in ne...
173: My Ghost Date, Timothy
21 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do at prom by myself? Can ghosts ride in cars? How do you end a voicemail? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at ha...
172: Get in Touch with Your Glitter Side
14 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
How do I stop receiving so many Peeps? Why do I have to sneeze immediately after I put on mascara? How do I use a bus? And more! If you're in need of ...
171: Our Pasta-Making Robot Overlords
07 Jan 2019
Contributed by Lukas
What do I do when all my friends hang out without me? Are beans basically small potatoes? How do you smuggle a swan internationally? And more! If you'...
170: You Can Trust Us, We're Aliens
31 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How do I teach a class I know almost nothing about? What if humans had tails? Why can’t you walk through a drive-through? And more! If you're in n...
169: A Perpetual Christmas Civilization That Orbits the Sun
24 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Why do we put people on pedestals? How can I get better at mornings? What should I hide under the floorboards? And more! If you're in need of dubious ...
168: All of Them, Including LinkedIn
17 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Where did all the websites go? How do you solve a problem like Maria? What's my brand? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hank...
167: A Song Called Shhh
10 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do about the accordion player outside? Should I take a trip to a strange city by myself? How do I get in the secular Christmas spirit? A...
166: Do Not Enter the Secret Room
03 Dec 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Why are human babies so useless? What's with Ohio's salad crackers? Why can't I use an umbrella in the snow? And more! If you're in need of dubious ad...
165: We're Gonna Make It
26 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What would it feel like to be microwaved? How do I get my dad to chill on Facebook? How do I confront my roommate about the ferret oatmeal baths? And ...
164: The Kurt Vonnegut Special
19 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How much money should I ask for? How do I talk to my crush? Will climate change make mountains shorter? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice,...
163: A Man's Man's Guide to Potassium
12 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How do I convince my boyfriend not to grow a mullet? What do I do with this small, hot towel? Should I destroy my sad friend in Words with Friends? Jo...
Hello from Hank and John!
08 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Hosts Hank and John Green (authors and YouTubers) offer both humorous and heartfelt advice about life’s big and small questions. They bring the...
162: The Fault in Our Mars
05 Nov 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What tricks can babies do? Should I become a space lawyer? Did I let a guy steal my car? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearha...
161: Your Dabbing Uncle Hank
29 Oct 2018
Contributed by Lukas
At what point do I fail? What should I do while I'm waiting to be sawed in half? Should I eat the fungus? And more! Email us: [email protected] p...
160: You Are Not My Bus
22 Oct 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Where should I look when I'm talking to someone? Will aliens ride our roller coasters when we're all dead? Should guests help do the dishes? And more!...
159: The Horrifying Five-Tined Fork
15 Oct 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How do I get out of this maze? What do I do with this cello? When will I stop having to call my mom to help me figure out life? And more! Email us: h...
158: President Alligator
08 Oct 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Why do people hate raisins? Is U2 a boy band? How do I make friends with the people I work with? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.co...
157: It's My Soundtrack! (w/ Rosianna Halse Rojas!)
01 Oct 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Should I treasure my books more? Can I learn to sleep standing up like a horse? Does everyone have an eighties disco playing in their head? And more! ...
156: There Is a Diversity of Opinions Among the People Who Drive This Car
24 Sep 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How can I avoid having to dress up for Halloween? What do you do when your friends make fun of your friend? How do I artfully display my rib? And more...
155: Drunk Fruit Squirrels
17 Sep 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Can I wear my Tuesday shirt on other days? How do I give advice that doesn't hurt feelings but is still helpful? Did I steal this plant? And more! Ema...
154: You're Doing Great (w/ Tessa Violet!)
10 Sep 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What do I do when I'm asked to lie to children? Should I tell my boss I'm obsessed with her famous son? Why is Dodie so much better at stuff than I am...
153: Perfectly Normal Art Projects (w/ Sarah Urist Green!)
03 Sep 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Can I use being an artist as an excuse for being weird? How do museum benches work? What is the best advice a parent can give their child? And more! E...
152: Thank You, Hot Fries!!
27 Aug 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Are we living in a simulation? Are there other types of teeth? What should I do with this bowl? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com...
151: Dapper Dudes
20 Aug 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How do I tell my boyfriend he's beautiful? Can I talk to my cousin's ex? How do I figure out my music taste? And more! Email us: [email protected]...
150: Spicy Limes
14 Aug 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do with this tooth? How do I keep a secret? How do I get out of the shadow of my parents’ triumphs? And more! Email us: hankandjohn...
148: Hiding Nuts
23 Jul 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Why is there no $25 bill? What happens to a person’s consciousness when they're teleported? What does space smell like? And more! Email us: hanka...
147: Celebrities on a Plane
16 Jul 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Should I tell my boyfriend he has a fandom? What do you do in a non-reciprocal high five situation? Why are football scarves so short? And more! Email...
146: Skate with Snakes
02 Jul 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How did people tell time before clocks? Should I go to a thing just to avoid FOMO? How do I deal with popsicle haters? And more! Email us: hankandjoh...
145: Wait to Panic
18 Jun 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What should I do with the ends of bread? How do you know when you get to the end of the galaxy? How did they livestream the lunar landing? And more! E...
144: Great, Robust Berries (w/ Jenny Lawson!)
11 Jun 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What is your innocuous life curse? What should I read when I've outgrown YA? How do I survive without my coping mechanism? And more! Email us: hankan...
143: Eleven Peas
04 Jun 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Are there any good billionaires? How do I get better at contracts? What are the rules of doctor-patient small talk? And more! Email us: hankandjohn@g...
139: What If the Moon Was One of Us
07 May 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What should I spend my birthday money on? Is hope a dinosaur? What do I do with 23 plastic molds of my teeth? And more! Email us: [email protected]...
138: Snappy the T. rex
30 Apr 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Do dead bodies get sunburned? How do you science a baby? Who were the first fans? And more! Take our survey! Your feedback helps us out a lot: https:...
137: Manhole & Me
23 Apr 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Why am I in Seattle? Why are bricks stacked that way in walls? Is nihilism hilarious? And more! Email us: [email protected] patreon.com/dearhankan...
136: Wake Up Canadian
17 Apr 2018
Contributed by Lukas
What should I wear to Hamilton? If you work a four-day week, do you still get a hump day? Are books a distorted mirror? And more! Email us: hankandj...
135: Danger Noodles and Little Boops (w/ Emily Graslie!)
09 Apr 2018
Contributed by Lukas
How do you throw away a trash can? Which animals have the most awkward adolescent phase? Are humans an invasive species? And more! Email us: hankan...
134: The Millennial Avocadome
02 Apr 2018
Contributed by Lukas
Are rocks actually soft? What are Pop-Tarts? My boyfriend's ex is dating my ex??? And more! If you're in need of dubious advice, email us at hankandjo...