Do You Actually Like Your Kids? The Parenting Question No One Wants to Answer
episode
Decoded | Unlock The Secrets of Human Behavior, Emotion and Motivation
1h 31m
1 speaker
3 chapters
transcribed 11 hours ago
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why isn’t parenting a lottery and how can you stop feeling like you got a ‘bad hand’?
So many parents were convinced, well, I just got a bad kid. I got dealt a bad hand of cards. There's nothing about parenting that's a lottery, and you really don't just get dealt a bad hand of cards. You can help create children that you actually lie not just love by default unconditional love you love them when they're being good you love them when they're being bad no just kids that you both love and like that you're not stuck with or rolling your eyes about but that you genuinely respect and value and are proud of not from a place of pride or haughtiness or narcissism as in their reflection of you but they are an output of the inputs you gave them with intention
Your brain is wired for deception, but here's the truth. Patterns can be broken. The code can be rewritten. Once you hear the truth, you can't go back. So the only question is, are you ready to listen?
Hey everybody, welcome to another episode of Decoded. Today's episode is for all of you out there who have kids or are thinking about having kids. Today's episode is called, do you actually like your kids? And this is going to be a loaded question. It's gonna be a loaded episode. I'm sure some of you will pause me multiple times, maybe cuss me out from your home living room or office or wherever you are tuning in or watching. But this is what I want to say before we drop in. I'm saying everything I'm about to say with love and absolute respect and compassion. Parenting is... hard there are a lot of things in this life that are hard parenting is one of the hardest things to do but i will say parenting is much harder when you don't like the outcome that you've created in your kids and i find far too often parents are very quick to separate themselves from the outcome of their child's behavior
And I've seen this in particular throughout the years of traveling and doing seminars and obviously having thousands of clients a year from 2014 to present, which is, man, that's a long time, 12 years. but in particular in a therapeutic residential program that I worked at. And from the very beginning, I was very clear with my teaching that I knew I could help the child more if their parents were participating. And if their parent was not participating, I could certainly help the kid, but that kid's behavior is not happening or occurring inside of a vacuum. When we did this, and I think I was there for probably almost two years, year and a half, all of the parents that did break with me and actually did it and completed and their kids did it too, we saw pretty wild changes in how they were communicating with their child, the long-term outcome of their child, but more importantly, what the parents learned about how they set up this scientific experiment.
And I start with this because so many parents were convinced, well, I just got a bad kid. I got dealt a bad hand of cards. And I am making this episode specifically because I want you to understand that there's nothing about parenting that's a lottery, and you really don't just get dealt a bad hand of cards. You can help create children that you actually like, like not just love by default, unconditional love, like you love them when they're being good, you love them when they're being bad. No, just kids that you both love and like, that you're not stuck with or rolling your eyes about, but that you genuinely respect and value and are proud of, not from a place of pride or haughtiness or narcissism as in their reflection of you, but they are an output of the inputs you gave them with intention.
That is everything that we teach in Break Method in all of our parenting modules, which are in module three of our program. And I think parenting, if there's one high value thing that we should learn in this life, it's that parenting should be highly strategized. This whole, oh, you'll figure it out as you go along. Whoever told you that and whoever tried to convince us as a society that that was true was a liar and more conspiratorially wrong. Maybe there are other more sinister reasons for some of the things that happen in parenting, like the fallacy, oh, don't worry, your kids outgrow it.
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