Menu
Sign In Search Podcasts Charts People & Topics Add Podcast API Blog Pricing
Podcast Image

Dig It with Jo Whiley and Zoe Ball

91: DIG IN: A Second Sibling Dilemma and a Spoiled Choir

09 May 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.031 - 23.354 Jo Whiley

Coming up on Diggits. How do you shake your algorithm up? Do you just shout at your phone and just sort of say, gardens, puppies? That feeling when you projectile vomit. Next time I interview Gary Lightbody, Jenny, I'm definitely going to ask him about that. She's not come to a snow patrol gig since because she's still carrying the shame. Never told anybody that at all. Oh! Well, well done, Jo.

0

23.394 - 50.22 Jo Whiley

I think you've been very brave to share that story with us in the safety of the Dig It space. I'm not going to regret it at all. Yeah, no, no one will ever bring it up or clip it up. Oh, gosh. All of that right after this. Dig It is sponsored by Starling, the bank that helps you organise your money, build great habits and stay in control of your spending.

0

50.581 - 70.277 Jo Whiley

We talk a lot on this show about how a great garden starts with a bit of a plan and the right environment. Well, money is the same. It's not just about what you have. It's about being intentional with it. how we choose to spend, save and plan. That's what really shapes the way we live. That is so true. Being good with money isn't about being perfect.

0

70.418 - 90.327 Jo Whiley

It's about building a relationship with your finances that actually works for you and your life. And that's what Starling is all about. They believe that with the right tools, anyone can grow those healthy habits. One habit I found so helpful is separating your spending. It's that peace of mind of knowing exactly what's for the bills, what's for the fun stuff, and what's actually left over.

0

90.447 - 108.108 Jo Whiley

And that's a tool that Starling offers in their app. They call it Spaces. It's basically a pot of money sitting within your Starling Current account, kept separate from your main balance, so you're never dipping into the wrong pot by accident. I desperately need one for the garden. Anyone who knows me knows my plant budget can get, well... A little out of hand. Exactly.

108.169 - 119.813 Jo Whiley

And you can even create free virtual debit cards linked to each space. So you can only ever spend what you've planned to, making life that little bit easier. Search Starling to find out more. Good with money starts here.

122.898 - 136.753 Zoe Ball

Are you really buying a car online on AutoTrader right now? Really? At a playground? Yeah, really. Look at these listings from dealers. Wow. Your search can really get that specific. Really? And you just put in your info and boom. Car's in your budget.

136.773 - 138.154 Jenny

Mom needs a second, honey.

138.174 - 140.076 Zoe Ball

You can really have it delivered? Really.

Chapter 2: What embarrassing moment did Jenny share about her school choir experience?

262.117 - 280.294 Jo Whiley

Now you're on the other side of the tricky years. Do you think it's worth it to forge ahead and get through the chaos? I sometimes wish that I could use a time machine, see how my life could look in 10 years to help me make a decision. I'll be so interested to hear your thoughts and also the thoughts of your listeners. So Diggers, over to you. What do you think about this?

0

280.354 - 300.632 Jo Whiley

You know, only child going for it again. What are your thoughts? Zoe, what do you reckon? Oh, it's an impossible question almost, isn't it? I always wanted to have two kids because I loved the idea that they would always look out for each other and that, you know, they could call each other and go, God, mum's crazy. Help me. And you've always got that backup. I adore my brothers.

0

301.033 - 324.702 Jo Whiley

You know, they are so wonderful. They're always there for me. We're there for each other. I love all my nieces and nephews. But I also was an only child for quite a long time and I loved it. And my son, Woody, was an only child for 10 years. And then Nell came along. And, you know, it's different in every household. There's part of me years later that wish I'd had four kids like you, Jo.

0

325.183 - 345.618 Jo Whiley

I'm really blessed to have Woody and Nell and they are amazing. But I do understand that thing. You know, there is something to be said for siblings. I think that's very special for... But you don't have to have another baby, Bex, because it does sound like you have just about got yourself sorted there.

0

345.638 - 361.787 Jo Whiley

And if your husband's away a lot and you've just got your mum for backup, do you want to go back to sleepless nights and... It's a tricky one, isn't it? I think, Bex, it's one of those things that hopefully an answer will show itself to you.

361.827 - 382.78 Jo Whiley

And I think there's arguments for both sides, because I've got friends who've just had one kid for various reasons, whether it's been complicated for them as a journey and they've been so grateful to have that one baby or not. They've not been able to have others. And they're doing great. And their kids are fabulous. And I know lots of my friends are only children and had a wonderful time.

383.501 - 401.691 Jo Whiley

And then you find other people to share with. So the love you might get from a sibling, you get from your friends. Only you know, Bex. Only you will know. And you don't have to rush it. Obviously, if you've been through fertility treatment, you'll know the struggle and how it will have been very hard for you, I'm sure. And you'll be so grateful for your child that you've got.

401.791 - 423.584 Jo Whiley

And it's probably quite daunting, the thought of going through that again. But only you will know. I mean, the chaos is real when you've got more than one child. It's like, it's really chaotic. And I think you either thrive on that or you don't enjoy that and you want some order in your life. And so maybe that's what you're like. Maybe that's the best option for you.

423.604 - 440.387 Jo Whiley

You just want to really relish the time that you have with your daughter and really enjoy every single second that you have together and just be that little tight-knit family. But also, if your family expands, it's really fun. It's actually quite hard work, I think, having one child on their own. Because you will have had this with Woody and I had it with India because she was...

Chapter 3: How did Jo's childhood assembly story relate to feelings of shame?

496.392 - 513.716 Jo Whiley

you know, peaceful and just, you know, it can make it quite, you're like, oh, it's easy a second time around, but it's not always. I mean, if you're going travelling and you're, everything you do, is it easy to do it with one child or is it easy with two? I mean, you've had four. How many little ones did you have all at one time?

0

513.736 - 535.074 Jo Whiley

So Indy was six when I had Jude and then there's two and a half, three years between Jude and Cass. So for a time, they were just tumbling around all over the place with each other. And it was just great, delicious. You know, Bex, from my heart, I would say have as many kids as you possibly can. But I also know that fertility is not like that. So I know, you know, I'm lucky.

0

535.455 - 542.869 Jo Whiley

But I have utterly enjoyed every single second of the chaos. And I've never found it too overwhelming. I've just kind of rolled with it because that's,

0

542.849 - 569.177 Jo Whiley

maybe because I had chaos with my sister I don't know it's just something I've always been able to cope with and it's just they make me laugh and I love watching them I love seeing the relationship they have now that they're grown-ups it was Cassie's birthday over the weekend and um and the boys were together they didn't there were no partners around or anything and they made each other laugh so much and there is just this kindred ship between all four siblings and they were just falling around laughing private little in jokes and I'm on the outside feeling like

0

569.157 - 589.419 Jo Whiley

oh God, I don't understand what's going on between you, but God, I'm loving watching it. It's amazing. So I'm all for big families, but I am absolutely aware that that is not possible for everybody. You're so right. Like Wu and Nell, there was such a big gap between them for so, so long, but now they really are there for each other. And they've learned from each other.

589.579 - 611.622 Jo Whiley

And I've learned to be a better parent from watching them and learning from them. And I am so grateful that they have each other. So, yeah, there is definitely something wonderful to be said for having siblings. I think so. And yeah, you will never not take joy from them. It is just potentially quite a hard work.

611.642 - 632.266 Jo Whiley

And if it's not that straightforward a decision for you, then that could be, yeah, make it more tricky. But Diggers, let us know your thoughts. How do we help Bex? Bex, what does your partner think as well? And what does your mum think? Mums are always very wise. Are you following Dig It on Instagram?

632.446 - 655.188 Jo Whiley

It's got all the best bits behind the scenes and loads of extra stuff we don't put anywhere else. We've had another question from Kirstie with a Y. It's important. I was chatting with my friends and we all agreed the internet now feels like a place where bad things happen rather than a place where good things happen. I used to love being online when I was younger. I miss that feeling.

655.649 - 677.359 Jo Whiley

Where's your happy place online? Ooh. I know what curtsy means because with Instagram, I used to love it. It was so enriching. There were so many different subjects I'd learn about. It would be fashion, it would be culture, it would be cooking, it would be interesting people. And now I just get fed the same thing all the time. But the thing I really noticed is that there's so much death on there.

Chapter 4: What insights did Jo and Zoe provide about the decision to have more children?

826.775 - 846.096 Jo Whiley

Do I? Yeah. I'm freaking 55. Why am I looking at this fantastic young person doing their makeup and feeling really bad about myself? I'm like, right, let's get rid of that. Let's get rid of these. I mean, I'm terrible. I'm like, oh, I'm going to follow this person, this nutritionist, this person, this person. And sometimes I'm like, oh, enough of that. But there is good news.

0

846.116 - 868.346 Jo Whiley

There is funny stuff to be found. Also, sometimes you just got to put it down. This weekend, it's like, put your phone down. And I read a book. And I loved it. I read Steve Mason's book, which I talked about. Sometimes it's like, get out of there and get out there, outside, living life out of our phone. I mean, we do need it, don't we?

0

868.366 - 881.888 Jo Whiley

Sometimes we just want to switch off and scroll and just escape for a little bit. But sometimes I do. It's like, put the phone down, pick up a book, you know, put the phone down, get outside, go for a walk, put the phone down, ring a friend.

0

881.868 - 907.892 Jo Whiley

something like that that just makes you feel so much better about life and the world and especially at the moment it's so grim you know it's all these unsolvable problems all these crazy men blowing the world up it's like there's so you know and people worrying about climate change and everything's doom and gloom it's it's such a real problem and we need to escape from that that's why I love my garden as I just get outside sometimes it's just

0

907.872 - 928.935 Jo Whiley

Go for a walk. And even going for a walk, you can sit in a park and do a bit of people watching. And that's so much more entertaining. I love walking down the seafront and just seeing all the amazing people out there. People on dates, people roller skating, kids playing, dogs playing, kids in the sea. You know, all those things just like in the world outside of us instead of being in there.

928.915 - 947.696 Jo Whiley

I'd be really interested to know how many, what people do, whether Instagram is just, is for our generation and, or whether anyone's into TikTok. I've never been on TikTok in my life. I wouldn't know how to, and I don't do it. Disco loves it. I mean, he's never off TikTok, unless he's having a detox. But I think we all have our different happy places.

947.757 - 963.396 Jo Whiley

And for me, it's definitely Instagram because of the images and the content. It can be really life enhancing if you choose the right things. And I do learn things on Instagram as well, you know. Especially with gardening related, there are things that I do learn. I'm like, oh, that's quite useful.

963.416 - 982.203 Jo Whiley

And there are some people like really amazing nutritionists who have taught me about various things that I need to learn about that are quite helpful. So sometimes it is helpful. Yeah. Do you TikTok? I don't TikTok. No. Should I TikTok? I don't know. I have not a clue. I don't think I've got time. I don't want to. I don't want to Snapchat. I don't want to Reddit. I don't want to TikTok.

982.263 - 1001.457 Jo Whiley

I don't want to do any of that. No. And what's the other one? The one everyone used to do? I came off that one because it was so depressing. Twitter. Twitter. Yeah. I mean, I came off those because I've found it aggressive and grim and people telling me how terrible I am. I'm like, oh, God, I know that. I don't need you telling me that as well. We can tell you that. It's fine.

Comments

There are no comments yet.

Please log in to write the first comment.