Digital Social Hour
Andrew vs Coach Greg: Outsmart Relationship Challenges: Expert Advice | DSH #1623
16 Nov 2025
Chapter 1: What are the statistics on marriage and divorce in different communities?
If you get married, you may get a divorce.
If this happens, then this may happen. We already looked at the statistics of it likely happening. So you want to go in order for your marriage to work, they have to be white, Christian, make money.
And then also we live in a certain region. The black community, you have more divorces in the white community. There's going to be contributing factors for why that is. I don't think that like black people are just ontologically different than white people. For the black community, there's a bunch. One, you have a distinction in economic certitude.
The second one is you had a massive abortion rate. Another one is you use matriarchal structures in the family home instead of patriarchal. So you have multiple factors here which need to be addressed. I agree with that. Nobody ever disagreed with that though.
Okay, guys, finally getting started. Thanks for being patient. I know there were some delays. We got Andrew here versus coach Greg Adams, aka The Free Agent Lifestyle. We're gonna talk about today, is marriage worth it for men in the West? So let's get into some opening statements. Who wants to start off?
Yeah, man, marriage is a great institution. It was an institution that built the community of America. Most of the better communities that have safety, good children, good schools are typically centered around marriage. However, marriage has not progressed to the point where men could be safe legally. And a lot of men have experienced tremendous damage, collateral damage as a result.
And it has led to broken families, a lot of broken hearts, simply because the laws are not positioned to benefit both people in a divorce. Therefore, you have no-fault divorce. You have opportunities for women to use the courts against men.
And as a result, men have seen one, two, and three generations of men getting harmed, their grandfathers, their fathers, their uncles, their brothers getting harmed by this. So Generation Z men are not positioning themselves for a positive marriage. So at this particular point, if someone asked me, Would I recommend marriage for them? And they were in a certain position in life.
They weren't established. I would say no. There's no benefit for a person to get married today. Got it. Your response, Andrew?
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Chapter 2: What are the legal risks men face in marriage?
Well, it doesn't necessarily work because, and I'm going to tell you why, because a woman can go to a divorce attorney and they can simply just say, Hey, listen, it was a off the cuff, off the state divorce, but you got married within a certain state or she filed in a certain state. So therefore, the divorce goes on. Absolutely. Yes.
I've been to with the divorce attorneys and what they'll tell you is, hey, listen, you can get married in a ritual. You can get married in the orthodoxy. You can get married off record. But if she files and that woman is hell-bent on saying, we got married, I don't care if it was a ceremony where we walked on coals with our feet bare, that's considered a marriage. You also have common law.
You have a lot of other ways for that woman to establish marriage. How does your way eliminate common law? I don't have any way to eliminate common law. What I have is a way for men to avoid being used. No, the argument is not silly. So here's what you have. You have an if proposition, which doesn't exist for most men. Most men aren't religious.
Most men aren't looking to be under a religious orthodoxy. So it doesn't apply. So you're taking a moral standard or a religious standard to apply to people who aren't under that veil.
So let's start with a couple of things you said which are fundamentally untrue. Most men are religious, in fact, including in this country. Most of them.
Not some of them. But they're not religious. Hang on. I didn't interrupt. I understand. But maybe just take that point. Most aren't under your religion.
Okay. You can agree with that. So here's the thing, though.
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Chapter 3: How do social factors influence marriage stability?
But Catholicism and Orthodoxy is growing rapidly. And if it's the case that the ecclesiastical structure is already there, which it is, If you're going to cohabitate with a woman, the thing that you're offering right now is common law marriage anyway, if there's cohabitation at all. You're not protecting anybody from that.
At least under my model, it gives an ecclesiastical structure that's designed to prevent divorce by applying community pressure. That was the way it was always done. the application of community pressure within the confines of the woman's social circle. Right now, do you agree with me, for instance, that many divorces happen because women like to yap?
So you get a freshly divorced woman and she's free. You go, girl. Girl power. And she starts talking to her little friends and she starts telling them how liberating it is and how great it is and this and that. And this is why when women have divorced friends, their likelihood of divorce actually rapidly increases. It's for this reason. Divorce is contagious.
So if it's the case that this social contagion is eliminated because now we have an ecclesiastical structure, an ecclesiastical authority, which won't grant it because you get ostracized from that social group through excommunication, for instance, or not being able to participate anymore with that community, that's an application of a serious and significant social pressure, which can do the very thing you want, bring back that great institution and
absent the state, and it avoids this whole problem of common law marriage. Because if it's the case that you can be common law married anyway, inside of a state, and they can get grounds for divorce on that anyway, then we actually need to have some social pressures to prevent them from doing that. So it sounds like we agree marriage is awesome for men. Divorce is terrible for them.
So it seems like we should be attacking the divorce structure here. And it doesn't seem like you actually have anything to do that. other than just avoid the thing that's great for you because this other bad side effect could happen. Sure, that's like smoking cigarettes. So why don't we attack the bad side effect when we have the mechanism to do it? It's not if, we can do it now.
Okay, so like smoking cigarettes is the same analogy you're saying. Okay, here, cigarettes in this situation, we obviously know it has negative side effects, so you would avoid it. Now, here's the issue that I have with it. It sounds great on paper, but we can't travel to the land of make-believe. It sounds great. The majority of people probably wouldn't do it.
And if you ask a guy, which this is an important part, they're not even prepared to even talk about that. They don't even know what divorce laws are. So you're asking them to travel to the land of make-believe under a marriage system that small percentage of people use. No one uses it today. You might have said they used it to the past. Today, that doesn't exist.
So we can't travel to the land of make-believe to make marriage work for you. It might work in your marriage, but it doesn't work for the greater structure.
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Chapter 4: What solutions are proposed to mitigate divorce risks?
Let me finish this point. Go ahead. You're imagining your imagination is great. John Lennon would be great. You know, you would be proud of you at this particular point.
But I'm imagining all the people.
You're imagining all the people under a situation of the structure that you brought in here. All right. But the state highly governs this and the state highly governs divorce. I'm dealing in the reality situation where I'm trying to counsel men to give information to the best thing you've told me is that you're willing to give men the option to do this. are they willing to all do this option?
The answer is probably not, just like they're not willing to do what I'm telling them to do. However, we're both attempting, which is a good thing. It's noble. However, your situation rarely exists. Can we talk about the reality of what exists? Sure. Absolutely. So let's take your moral religious crusade out of it and talk about the reality. Are you willing to do that? Well, here's the thing.
You're not willing to do that because it's all based on your reality.
Guess what?
it's a debate and i will argue my points from my from my view how i see fit it's not for you to but what i'm not going to do is expect me arguing from the land of make-believe yeah but okay all right so anybody has my turn i have the um anybody have the sound effect for the um the television show where the train comes through mr rogers let me know because i want to be on i want to be on earth yeah all right let's let andrew respond
Yeah. So the thing is, it's funny that you bring up Imagine, all the people with John Lennon, which is an anti-religious song and hilariously enough, was designed to assist with female empowerment. Isn't that hilarious? But the thing here is you keep on saying that what I'm offering is make-believe, but it's not.
It's been governing the Orthodox and Catholic Church for 2000 years, including in this country. Now, here, let me give you an example, for instance, the Amish, right? Do you know what the divorce rate is among them? It's almost non-existent, yet they're still governed by the same laws of the land that you're speaking to.
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Chapter 5: What emotional challenges do men face in relationships?
It helps the men. Yes, it does. I'm going to tell you where it doesn't. There might be a woman considering getting an abortion, and he wants to keep the kid. He has no mitigating risk.
They're the only ones trying to change that situation.
Is that who is the traditional traditional church? Yes. All right. At that point, that doesn't help him. Yes, it does help him. So you're saying at that point is only the traditional church when you have hundreds of female lobbyist groups and you have them. They're the ones combating those female lobbying groups. That's it. How are they doing?
Chapter 6: How can traditional marriage impact divorce rates?
Only the red. They're doing great. Only the red. No, at the federal level, they're doing great. You're wrong. You can still go to other states to get it done.
Yes, but we've still managed to mitigate it even in those states. It's a war. It's a political war. That's how it works. And not only that, let's point this out. Your whole solution here, I wrote a book to help mitigate future events. Oh, great. Andrew, what are you trying to do? Help mitigate future events.
Chapter 7: What role does religion play in modern marriages?
Oh, right now, right this second, what can I do to help? Andrew says right this second, if a guy has a .357 in his mouth, he's going to pull the trigger. He can't do anything. You're totally right, but neither can you by your own admission. Correct. So there we go there.
When we're looking at the future, though, and I say let's do all of these different prescriptions, which we can actually politically accomplish and move towards. You say, that's all fucking pie in the sky, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I ask, well, what can you do as far as future prescriptions? You say, blacks are fucked, and I have absolutely no prescriptions for it.
No, I actually have a little book, 52 Things That Men Could Consider.
To mitigate divorce risk.
The same thing I'm trying to do. They're marrying the right woman. So you're just mad that I have one solution, you have another, and we don't agree with it.
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Chapter 8: How do societal pressures influence relationship choices?
Mine's better. That's what you believe. I think yours is pie in the sky. I don't see how it could be pie in the sky. It's affecting way more men than your book is. No, no, my book actually has 15 plus thousand. You have how many? Hold on. You have how many ecclesiastic marriages that your church pastor is going to go into the bedroom and enforce marriages? You can't even give me a number.
Nobody ever proposed that. You're such a liar.
You can't even give me a number.
You said that. Nobody said that the pastors are going to go in the bedroom and enforce anything. Okay, social pressure. Stop lying. All your social pressure. Just stop lying, dude. Where's your social pressure? How many people do you have in your ecclesiastic marriages? How many people got married into that? Millions. Please give me a number. Millions of people have an ecclesiastical authority.
Go ahead and type it up. People have an ecclesiastical marriage. They may have a states or also. Under your scenario. What do you want me to type? We don't know. We don't know exactly. But you're sneezing at my number, but you don't know at all. We know for sure that even if it was the case that you never adopted the state.
But you don't have any number. Even if it's the case. Hang on. What's the number? Hang on. Even if it's the case.
that uh all they ever did was get a state marriage certificate never even followed that portion of what i'm saying right the number is still lower by their own by the state's own numbers it's still lower traditional give me a number of your marriages that you're proposing that we're all going to follow we don't know we don't have polls you know you have a number yeah we don't know for sure i would venture to say it's very little under 100 sure all right so now we got
No, it's not under 100. Certainly under 100. No, it's not. All right.
I don't hear anybody talking about it other than you. Yeah, well, that's because you're not around traditional churches by your own admission. But, yeah, there's people who have crowning ceremonies and get married by churches who don't get a state cert. Traditional churches. In fact, there might be data on that. You should look. Please look it up. There might be data.
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