Anything Goes (Part 2)

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Distractible 1h 2m 2 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 29 days ago
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What warning does Mark give about eating carrots?

Mark Fischbach 0:00
This episode of Distractable is presented by T-Mobile 5D Home Internet. Okay. How do you guys know when someone's really your friend?
Bruno Satin 0:09
I
Mark Fischbach 0:10
don't know. I don't know. But I do know that T-Mobile 5G Home Internet's got your back with their fast speeds, easy 15-minute setup, a price for any budget, and five-year price guarantee. Visit tmobile.com slash home internet to check availability, guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data, exclusions like taxes and fees apply. Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5D internet data exclusions like taxes and fee supply service delivered via five D network spees vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Guarantee exclusions details at tmobile.com slash home internet.
Unknown 0:44
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Destructibles. This episode. Makeshift Mark kicks off, displays the new merch, then tells his horror story of consuming babies. Weekender Wade refuses hospice cohabitation, clubs balls, praises the bangles, and earns Dick as an assistant. Blameworthy Bob has a warm pond, a mute mind, and quotes a nana's meme. From altered images to Californian philanthropy. It's time for Anything Goes Part 2. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Mark Fischbach 1:30
Hello and welcome to Distractable. Oh, was it recording? Now is it going? Alright, cool. Hello and welcome to Distractable. The podcast where you come for laughs, goofs, and maybe a few heartfelt boo hoos every once in a while. Have we ever made anyone cry in this episode? God, I hope so. God, I hope so. Probably. Well, I'm your host, Markiplier, the guy you know, the guy you love. All the listeners, you know my voice. All the viewers, you know my face. You know my eyes. They know your soul. They know my soul. And I know theirs. Intimately. Oh. What's wrong? I like what he's got going on here. A little indigestion, I think. Oh, indigestion? That's funny. Boy, do I have a story about that. All right, just steal my story, I guess.
Mark Fischbach 2:22
Yeah, go for it. Oh, I won't. Not yet. Not yet, guys. Not yet. Anyway. How are you guys, my fellow hosts, my fell I can't look at that anymore. Hi. Oh, thank God. I'm comforted. I like when you make a lot of ice. It makes me feel confident. Good, good, good. A lot of real, genuine, not at all disturbing eye contact. Yep, yep, yep, and jeez. Double it or nothing. Alright, this is Distractable, the game show where I'm gonna be hosting and subjecting these two to my whims. Where's my point keeper? Fuck. Always love when you come prepared. Fuck Hold on, I didn't know I was gonna be recording. That's true. To be com completely fair to him, he had no idea he was about to have to be recording. That's true, only about about an hour's heads up.
Mark Fischbach 3:23
We were doing stuff. What are you we give me a hard time for? Alright, yeah, fuck you, Mark, you idiot. Ha! A little mean. That's a little horribly cruel. Yeah, he's hosting, man. You should go easy on him. Ah, you're right. You're right. I'm gonna write some points here. Grubbing out an address first, but then I'm gonna rub it up
Bruno Satin 3:40
points.
Mark Fischbach 3:42
Uh gets you some points. You got points for six eight one seven Markiplier Drive. Yes, I own my own road. Keep telling you, man, you're not it's hard to stay inconspicuous when you live on a road that's named after your own self. No, they would never assume. They would never assume. That's why I live on not Wade's Avenue. It'd be like stupid in every conceivable way, but how funny would it be if you just maybe even if it wasn't you, if someone was like, Ah God, I love Markiplier. I'm gonna rename one of the streets in my town to Markiplier Avenue. And then just droves of people just show up and like, Mark lives here, right? What is this which house is Mark's? And all the poor idiots who live on that road
Mark Fischbach 4:25
I mean it's not their fault, but fuck those guys. Look look, maybe back in the day my fans would be rabid enough to do that, but they're real chill nowadays. They're real chill nowadays.
Bruno Satin 4:35
No.
Mark Fischbach 4:37
Anywho, I gotta write uh points for who insulted me? Who insulted me? Me. Wade Wade, did you insult me? No, Bob insulted you.

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