Best of Henry (Compilation)

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Distractible 21 min 1 speaker 7 chapters transcribed 1 month ago
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What is the opening ad and introduction for the episode?

Bob 0:00
This episode is presented by Panda Express. It shouldn't be difficult, and maybe it's a bit silly, but we've all been there. Sometimes saying I love you is just hard, whether it's your partner, someone in your family, a good friend, but when you order tasty, authentically cooked American Chinese cuisine from Panda Express, they'll know what you mean. Because sharing some delicious orange chicken, or my personal favorite, the honey walnut shrimp, that means more than work. So have you eaten yet? Order now or find your nearest Panda Express.
Unknown 0:31
From shaggy dog tails to a life well lived. It's time for Best of Henry
Mark Fischbach 0:43
You guys know Henry, right? You've met Henry. Henry is a rescue, has gone through a pretty traumatic past, was rescued, actually injured. Uh, but when we got him, he did not trust strangers. He especially did not trust men. He was like really quiet, shy. Now, after years of work, because it does take a lot of work, but with love and attention and training. He's way smarter than Chica. Look, no insult to Chica, but Chica isn't exactly the brightest. No.
Unknown 1:14
Bulb in
Mark Fischbach 1:15
the drawer. But he is like so incredibly smart. Point in case I have a video with audio that I would like to play for you guys right now. It is very adorable. Don't get me wrong. This is very adorable. Listen to listen to Henry.
Unknown 1:29
Hehehehehehe Ha ha
Mark Fischbach 1:39
Adorable, right? He sounds excited or stressed. Yeah, excited.

Who was Henry and what was his rescue background?

Mark Fischbach 1:42
Uh we just picked him up and we're taking him home, right? Very cute. It sounded like he was laughing and he was smiling and wagging the whole time. So he's very happy. Now imagine that sound for thirty minutes straight. That could know. That was incredibly annoying. And and every like minute or so, he would sneeze all over the back of our heads and like shake and slobber all over us. Like all these elements are incredibly annoying. However, wouldn't trade it for the world. Love that dog. Yeah. Inside and out. There's no part that I would ever change about Henry. Like, just a fantastic dog. Incredible. Lovely. Have I ever told you about? Henry's piss oranges? No, I don't think so. Well there's an orange tree at a house we used to have a while back.
Mark Fischbach 2:26
Um and it was you know it it made oranges every year. That was real that was
Bob 2:30
Didn't it make limes, if I recall? No. I'm pretty sure it made limes. Ethan told me that. Do you not remember that? No, I don't remember it. There's an episode from uh from uh Unisadas where Ethan was real sad and you guys are in the backyard and he was just like, Can I have one of
Unknown 2:47
these limes?
Bob 2:48
And you're like, that's a that's an orange tree. They're just they're not it's like, Okay, I'm gonna take a lime. I mean you're and you're just like, Either those are oranges and they're not ready yet and he just takes one and he's like,
Unknown 3:00
Mm. Oh, this lime doesn't taste very good. Bad limes, Mark.
Bob 3:06
I don't remember that at
Mark Fischbach 3:07
all. It was like an extended bit. I bet it was. I bet it was. Uh but Henry pissed on that tree a lot. No wonder they taste so good. They did. That's what I'm saying. Is those oranges tasted amazing. And I they tasted better the better the longer we were there. I'm not lying, not joking. It's probably not because of the piss, but what is a tree if not a big life straw? Filters out the piss. Dog pee kills grass, flavors orange.

Why do the hosts describe Henry as unbelievably smart?

Mark Fischbach 3:38
Breaking news. Yeah. I mean orange, the juice is some
Bob 3:42
kind of yellow. If I peed and it looked like orange juice, I'd be like, ah, close enough. I don't need to see a doctor about that. That's that's good. That's very good actually. Plus it smells clean and fresh. Or would it still smell like pea? I guess I don't know which way that goes.
Mark Fischbach 3:58
Uh so yeah, if you guys didn't know, LA is now a tropical rainforest. Uh it rains nonstop here. It has been raining for like the past two days straight. It's going to keep raining for another two days. And then this is right after the second like big what do they call it? The rain channel floodway, the the rain slipstream. The sky goosh. Yeah, sky goosh, yeah. Sky Usy is opening up upon you. Yeah. So the drought was over two rainstorms ago, right? Maybe three. It was over last year. It's still raining.

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