Mark of Theseus
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What is the Mark of Theseus?
Guten Abend, verehrter Hörer und willkommen bei Distractable. Ja, ja, ja. It's time for Mark of Theseus. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Bis zum nächsten Mal.
Who is hosting today's episode?
I am Markiplier. I'm hosting today's episode because I won last time.
And that means I have to subject these two wonderful, beautiful competitors to my whims. I know you said nice things, but I was fully prepared to be offended by your descriptors of us. And I'm taking a little aback. You can be offended. I don't think that's appropriate. You were very nice.
What are the competitors' thoughts on video games?
Thank you. You get one nice point. I wasn't listening. Do I get a point for obliviousness? Yep. Oblivion point. I'll give you that. Great game. Needs a remake.
I don't know if it needs a remake. I don't know if that was a great game. Nah, great game. Don't play it, but great game. Morrowind, I think, was a great game.
Oblivion was just... Man, he's the cousin at the family reunion you don't want to talk to, you know?
Damn. Looks odd. But there's so much funny shit if you're willing to put hundreds of hours into it. Oh yeah, for sure, for sure.
Also I really should have brushed my teeth, man. I just ate orange chicken and I can still see it. My teeth are very orangey. Yum.
I haven't eaten anything. I'll tell you what though. I've been doing like a high protein diet. I haven't eaten anything. I haven't eaten anything. Not because I've been cutting on carbs a lot. Not to talk about diet. I'm sorry for everybody who doesn't like to talk about diet.
How does diet affect health?
I like it. Not eating carbs is really good for your teeth. Like my teeth feel healthier. It's something about how carbs and sugars just kind of ferment in your teeth.
And if you're not super careful about flossing and brushing all the time, it can catch up to you. And so not having that has actually been quite good for my teeth. I always speed on the highway so nothing catches me.
You don't have a car. Damn, man. I give you a lying point.
I was just imagining you running.
Funny story about that. I think this is the first time we've chatted since Thanksgiving. It's been a minute. So apparently there was, I don't know if it's a TikTok thing or if it was just one-off, what it was. But my nephews at Thanksgiving were showing me something on their phone where there was like an uncle race, like the family uncle race. The four old dudes got into a line and started running and like one of them stopped immediately. One of them like fell over. One of them kind of just veered off to the left and one of them kind of like to the finish line. My nephews were like, we need an uncle race. And my brother was like, no. Ich hab gesagt, ich werde Onkel race. Und die haben gesagt, es gibt keinen anderen, der race.
Ich hab gesagt, was, wenn ich dich race? Die haben gesagt, Onkel Wade, wir wollen dich nicht schämen. Wir sind eingeladen und ich habe diese kleinen Scheißen gewonnen. Ich habe jeden von ihnen verletzt. Ich habe es immer noch.
Das ist, weil Kinder keine Ahnung haben, wie alt es wirklich ist. Also du versus ein 90-jähriger Mann ist im Grunde die gleiche in ihrer Meinung.
35, I still got it, man. I'm still in my prime.
What happens when family gathers?
There's people that go to the Olympics at that age.
You are the only one who's trying to downplay our glorious age of 35. I'm up. I just said I want to race. What do you mean downplay? I'm saying I'm awesome. Yeah, but you're saying it in a way. For our age, I'm awesome. There we go again.
What? You're qualifying. Why are we qualifying?
You have to qualify to go to the Olympics too, Mark. Just some people go to the Olympics. It's okay for them. Those words are technically related to each other, yes.
Thank you. I rest my case, Your Honor. Bob, how's your life? Good, really good. I've been sick for a month and a half straight. That's great, man. I've been sick, Manny's been sick, Baby's been sick. It turns out Baby's just bringing all kinds of little everything because he has no immune system and then everyone passes it around because we all, you know, we hang out a lot.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the Mark of Theseus?
0:19–1:48
2
Who is hosting today's episode?
1:48–2:07
3
What are the competitors' thoughts on video games?
2:07–2:58
4
How does diet affect health?
2:58–4:20
5
What happens when family gathers?
4:20–8:43
6
Why support small businesses?
8:43–12:06
7
What are the implications of health insurance?
12:06–15:07
8
How do upgrades relate to personal identity?
15:07–52:24