Chapter 1: What are the hosts' initial thoughts on snow days?
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractable. This episode. Batty Bob brings the existential banter and talks crusty 20 inches. Worrisome Wade sucks men. Um, with gaming news. Converses crafty crafting. Channels cipher and fortifies his yard. Fresh mopped Mark declares weenie weenie weakie. Gets ball bagged by Brit censors. Replicant tested and hallucinates.
From sex phone lines to exploding trees. Yes, it's time for Snow Days. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Hello and welcome back to my mom's second favorite podcast. That's right. You're listening to Distractable. And hopefully you're watching, honestly, because I think you all know how we feel about that. But if you're listening, I guess you're welcome to. My name is Bob. I'm going to be your host for today because even though I don't remember how it happened, somehow I won the last episode.
Uh, which was clearly deserved and I was hilarious, so congratulations to me. Uh, competing today on the episode will be the other two guys who are always here. The only other two guys who are always here. It's Mark and Wayne. Hey. And I'm bald!
Ha! I got a haircut oh yeah see there's like a little curl right here where you're hiding the receding hairline hmm interesting interesting no no please no hiding it now I got a haircut for those listeners
sound shorter yeah there it is hey come on man no just your hair you got a haircut come on you're not rubbing your legs on the mic are you i mean i could i could i bet they feel real long because it's not really long you sound so much taller than you actually are this is a sex phone line hey can you rub the phone on your legs
I could go down that rabbit hole, but I feel like we'd be canceled, so I'm not gonna.
Yeah, that would get us. That would get us canceled. Oh, now my hair's all messed up, guys. Come on.
It looks great.
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Chapter 2: What memorable snow day stories do the hosts share?
While Mark fixes his hair, let me remind you of the rules. I give points. It's arbitrary. Let's not pretend. I know we have rules. We have a constitution. It's arbitrary. Okay, let's not.
but also there's some very strict rules and whoever gets the most points wins unless that's not what happens and Mark already has one for sounding so so short well it's your hair Mark's hair fine Mark's hair gets the point not Mark Mark's not short just Mark's hair you guys are so big there we go that's the one it's all angles in mirrors man that's how I make my boobs look so big I've been hiding an elephant this whole time
Really small, small elephant. Editors, don't help him. Unless you have an elephant filter on your camera. Do they make those?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's called a VTuber.
You can like raise your hand and your thing. Never mind, it doesn't work. I lied to you.
What are you saying, Wade? There's like two jokes going on. I can't follow the funny. I look like an idiot.
Never mind.
Maybe I'm thinking of Zoom instead of this. I don't think I've ever seen Wade bail on a joke before.
It wouldn't even have to be a joke. There's a feature I thought that was here. It's not here, clearly.
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Chapter 3: How did the hosts celebrate their snow days as kids?
Die, I guess.
Oh, I've got something that'll suck you in. Die or suck.
Welcome to Die or Suck! That's right, those are your two options. I mean, it depends on what we're sucking here, but, you know, it's compelling, I guess. Alright, Wade, suck him in!
I was out. I was out for a long time. But my friend Patrick sucked me back in. New gacha game came out, and I hadn't been in the gacha games for a while. I'd been out for quite a while. It was nice. But this one, I feel, I don't know if you guys played the Genshin-type games. I never got super into Genshin. I was like, eh, it's okay, but whatever.
I never played the original Arknights, but there's an Arknights Enfield that just came out. You know, like a 3D run around, explore. And the world's fun. I enjoy the story. I've enjoyed the world, the characters. Like, I've enjoyed it so far. It doesn't have the stupid little annoying sidekick who speaks for you, which I definitely appreciate.
I don't need one of those little fucking rabbits with a hat that's like, Hey, buddy, let me tell you all the things you need to know. I'm your protagonist. Thankfully, none of that. The character talks. It's crazy. Wild concept. I love it. But they mixed in factory building into the game, like a satisfactory factorio factory building. It's a little bit light, especially early on.
Like, you know, it's not super complex, but like there's some decent recipes and I think that they're going to add more. But.
right now i've got three factories going uh getting me the stuff i need to craft gear and make some serious dough so and there's um i don't know what the word for this is like a trading system where you can go and like buy goods at a low price and then on your friends list you can see who has like the best price to resell so there's like a resell trading market to make money
So I've been into like buying low, saving goods and selling high. Like I've gotten into it. I'm not going to lie. What was the name of it called? Arknights Enfield.
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Chapter 4: What funny incidents happened during snow days?
Before we hit record, you mentioned this and I was like, nah, whatever.
Arknights Enfield.
I went in deep. Like, the characters and the gacha system, the combat and stuff's fine. It's fine.
How much money are they trying, like, do you have to pay to win?
I mean, maybe to get, like, the best characters, but for all the other stuff, the stuff I really enjoy, no, you can't actually spend money to get, like, faster progression in the base building or the income earning and stuff like that. Like, it seems most of the money systems are just spent around getting characters and they, of course, they have, like, the weapons, so character and their weapon.
I've got other packs that'll give you some boosts, but you can grind everything out. The monetization system really, to me, wasn't that bad.
You know what's funny about this is I'm on the Arknights page, and I was looking at the art on the top. I was like, why does this look familiar? And then I looked over at my other tab with my news articles, and there's a big banner ad of that game right on the front page here. I'm like, I knew I saw it somewhere. I don't know if it heard you or something, but it's... Nice, that's nice.
I had a thought the other day about something. I didn't even say anything out loud. I think it was a restaurant. And then I was scrolling and immediately it was like kind of obscure and it just popped up and was like an ad for that too. And I was like, it doesn't even have to listen to me talk. It knows my thoughts. Simulation's getting real brazen with that.
I think it's just a synchronicity, but it felt like mind reading.
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Chapter 5: How do the hosts feel about snow days as adults?
He's like, I know the steak is juicy and delicious. So I'm going to eat it now happily.
Okay. All right. Maybe he's not so good because I don't know many people, even vegans and vegetarians coming out of like being a vegan or vegetarian, eat steak and they cry from the experience of it. But I guess there are probably some people that don't like steak.
Okay. Well, if we live in the matrix, then are all three of us real or is Mark an agent or what do we think? Why would I be an agent? Why do I got to be an agent? I don't know. You just want to see if your body can take it.
What? That's not anything that the agent said. Or did. Mr. Anderson, I am not a masochist.
I remember that. Mr. Anderson, tweak my nipples, but not in a weird way. What if you didn't have a mouth? Hmm.
What if I didn't have a mouth?
Now do me, Mr. Anderson. Now do me. It's the smell.
Ah.
He's actually, Neo actually was not that good of a fighter. Agent Smith was just like, I want him to hit me. I want him to hit me. I'm going to slow it down and let him get some shots in. I want to see if my body can take it.
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Chapter 6: What challenges do parents face on snow days?
They're so silly over there.
Warning. Content creators are in this film. It's the middle of Iron Lung. Like and subscribe, Popsa.
Ah, but think of the engagement I would get. I would get so many subs.
In the middle of the movie, like a Linus Tech Tips segue. Like, oh no. A segue to our sponsor, Ridge Wallets.
I would make a lot. I mean, they do product placement in a movie. I bet I could swing. I could sell out real hard. Mr. Anderson, I know I can take it.
Because I'm brought to you by Muscle Milk. Today's sponsor, Mr. Anderson.
The agents, if you see one, just run. You can't fight them. They're too fast. Like T-Mobile's 5G home internet.
Can we just make the movies as if they were YouTube videos? I want to do this with so many different movies.
You know that'd be a good episode idea. Why don't you write that down? I should. You can do it next time.
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Chapter 7: What are the hosts' opinions on snow day traditions?
You remember snow? Uh, yes. Yeah, I know snow. I know snow. Uh, but I can kick it off so you guys can have a second to think about your favorite snow days. I think my most legendary snow day of all time is, uh, growing up, the house that we lived in was, we were across the street from like a cul-de-sac. So we were, there was a street across from our driveway, right?
And so when it snows, what that means is the plows would take all the snow from that road in front of us and push it into our front yard. Which was generally fine. Sometimes it would block our driveway, but there was one time where it snowed a lot. Like, comparable to what we got this past week, where it was like, I think we got a foot to a foot and a half of snow. It was a lot of snow.
And they put such a huge pile of snow in our front yard that my friends and I dug it out into a snow fort. I did that too. Like four or five of us could fit inside the snow fort and it was awesome. Thinking back on it, it's a little bit of a miracle we didn't have any cave-ins and nobody had to get rescued or whatever, but I still remember what it felt like sitting inside that thing.
And because when you do, I don't know if it's the same for an igloo, but when you make like a snow fort, when you're inside of it, especially multiple people, you start to sort of warm it up and you sort of melt the inside walls, but then they freeze over again and it turns it into like an icy crust.
it's a whole i remember how it felt what it looked like what it tasted like what it tasted like yeah never don't mind that uh i remember after a little while we it took us hours and hours to make it and then it was finished and we climbed inside and we were like yeah and then like 45 minutes later we were like all right this is kind of just like a cold room isn't it who wants to go inside
but like that thing was fucking awesome that was the best snow day um but that's my i have a couple other ones that's my most legendary snow day of all time i'm jumping in do it all right so i don't know if this is a real memory or not because that's always good back when i think back on snow days right this cannot be true like there's no way this is true
me and my brother i remember us being huddled around a radio listening for broadcasts but there's no way that's true it's but i picture like this big like grandfather clock looking radio with the long slats and the glowing top and it's orange and you're milford schools Yeah, sure, sure. And it's like the Milford Christian School. Damn it. God damn it. And I'm like, that can't be reality.
That can't be. It must have been a TV. But in my head, it's radio.
That was definitely when you and your brother were listening to the Fireside Chats.
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Chapter 8: How do the hosts conclude their discussion about snow days?
Instead of 50 minutes of literature, you have 20 minutes. Go!
That must... I never thought about it ever until just now. That must have been such a pain in the ass for the teachers. Oh, God. Teachers have, they have the lesson plan. They're like, all right, I got a 55 minute period or whatever. Every single minute is like, okay, and then we'll get this all in and raise the bell rings. I'll be like, and thanks. Have a good one. Bye.
And then it's like, all right, two hour delay. You have 38 minutes. What are you teaching them? Some of this probably wasn't important. Was it?
Good question. Yeah. I don't know. That would, that would have been awful though for, ah, they deserve it. We're a distractible hate teachers. Take that. Nerds that's us mark Bob and me Tyler. We hate teachers
Tyler? Has it been you the whole time?
Love sports. He does say that a lot. We took Tyler out for his birthday and we went and this is not related. Why am I jumping off on a tangent? Was it a snowy day? No, it wasn't a snowy day. I'll allow it. Tangent away. Okay. All right. So he wanted duck. You know, Tyler, he has his whimsies. He wanted. He loves ducks. He heard that this place had ducks. So we go to this place. It has duck, right?
I've never heard him talk about duck before in my life. Okay, this is new, Tyler.
So it was fine. It was good. I liked it. It was smoked duck. I haven't had duck. I don't know if I've ever had duck, actually. But it tasted like a ham bird. It was like a bird made of ham. What kind of... Was this, like, a French restaurant? What kind of... No, Korean. It was a Korean plate, and it was a smoked duck, and it was just a huge plate of it.
And it's, like, already cooked, but then you stick it in the fryer after you've been cooking all the other meats, because it's a Korean barbecue kind of place. And it was great. It was fantastic. And then we kept being, like... As soon as the duck came out, we were, like, full, but then we just kept pounding it. And then John's car got locked in the garage next door, and we couldn't get it out.
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