Unhappy Birthday
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What birthday surprises did Mark miss due to being sick?
Good evening, gentle listeners or watchers, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, Mushroomy Mark invites Ron, suggests budget deathmatch, and has a deflating day. Windy Way despises foam, dreams of Elon, gets plundered in Pokemon by X, and fouls the foul. Beanie Bob destroys Ellen's bush, defends Allium Sapper, rejects celebrations, and burns his buttocks. From the greatest of friends to blasting the bangles. It's time for Unhappy Birthday. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show. Hello, and welcome to Distractable, the only podcast that I would recommend if someone asked me what my favorite podcast was named Distractable. Yes, I'm your host, Markiplier, here with my greatest friends in the world, Bob and Wade.
They're not my best friends, they're my greatest friends.
What are some of the worst birthday experiences shared by the hosts?
Is that better or worse? That's an important and hurtful distinction, thank you, Mark. You wouldn't say it's my best enemy. You would say my greatest enemy, right? I don't know if I have a greatest enemy, but syntactically, I have to agree with you on that one, yes. You understand the difference. But you do have a greatest friend in me. Just like that guy, Ron DeSantis, sang in Toy Story. You got the greatest friend in me. Ron DeSantis says that?
How did Bob's birthday sneeze affect his friends' meal?
Yeah, they actually had Ron DeSantis re-record for Toy Story 5. It's new. It's, you know. I think it's working. I think this is progress. It's healing the divide, just like this podcast does every week. God, you make me want to make jokes, but I can't make the jokes. Try to avoid these jokes. What jokes? Come on, make it.
What humorous story did Wade share about his birthday gifts?
You can censor it. That's why there's no books in Toy Story. Yeah, that's pretty funny. Editors, make me look funnier and more approachable so it's funny. What does that mean? I think it means, you know that game, there's like a Gmod mode where the scary thing is it's a fucking JPEG, a squared image coming at you. I think that's you approaching the camera very fast. That's why there's no books in Toy Story. They only need the image. They can work from there.
How did the hosts react to disappointing birthday celebrations?
We'll fix it in post. Anyway, we're off to a riotous start. We're going to have special guests like Ron DeSantis will be on the podcast as soon as he answers our call. And then equivalently cool guests will be rolling through the door as we change our podcast entirely from a podcast of three friends being idiots to a pure rotating guest interview show. What if we have a whole bunch of guests and we just make them all do like a battle royale type feature every episode and we do nothing? I think people would tune in for that. Yeah, they would. They would do that. Yeah, I'm sure. Ron DeSantis versus Mickey Mouse versus the Adventurous crew.
What unique birthday traditions do the hosts discuss?
Wait, is Mickey Mouse a real person? No, it's perfect. It's like a real life version of Celebrity Deathmatch. It's like that, but it's real. That's it. That's the whole idea. Perfect. We're going to take the adventurous crew and we're going to have each of their personas from different campaigns, not your favorite ones. Trust me, can't afford those guys. Chuckles, not going to be in there.
What are some funny anecdotes related to birthdays from the hosts?
No, no, no. Cannot afford Chuckles. How do we get them, trick them into, we call it like distracticon, markipliercon, when they come for that? Thank you for acknowledging. What was the really crappy one with like the little ball pit and nothing else? Dashcon? Maybe. I think I was conflating that one with Fire Festival. The name Fire Festival is in my brain. Those are not similar things at all.
How does the discussion shift towards the impact of COVID on birthdays?
Yeah. What was the ball pit convention? The whole ball pit situation. You get five free extra minutes in the ball pit or whatever. The whole thing. That was Dashcon. That joke. That meme. It's not a meme. It actually happened. That's so funny. Fire Festival was a live music festival that was hosted in kind of part of an island in the Bahamas, if I remember correctly. It was no supplies, no nothing. It was like a luxury experience. They brought them out to this island and they had nothing there. They had like a field with like 100 FEMA tents in it and like some styrofoam box lunch sandwiches.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What birthday surprises did Mark miss due to being sick?
0:00–1:08
2
What are some of the worst birthday experiences shared by the hosts?
1:08–1:43
3
How did Bob's birthday sneeze affect his friends' meal?
1:43–2:00
4
What humorous story did Wade share about his birthday gifts?
2:00–2:39
5
How did the hosts react to disappointing birthday celebrations?
2:39–3:16
6
What unique birthday traditions do the hosts discuss?
3:16–3:39
7
What are some funny anecdotes related to birthdays from the hosts?
3:39–3:58
8
How does the discussion shift towards the impact of COVID on birthdays?
3:58–59:51