Wade's Worst House Issues (Compilation)

47.944 - 62.961 Mark

For some reason in Ohio, some of these houses are built. They're like three bedrooms, but they're like, you know what? You need five bathrooms. And everyone's like, oh man, five bathrooms. I wish I had five bathrooms. No, you don't. You don't wish you had five bathrooms. Everyone in Ohio only eats junk food, so they just constantly have the runs, right?

62.982 - 73.018 Mark

So you need toilets close by in case you've got a diarrhea. I guess so. I don't know why there are so many bathrooms, but let me tell you, all that it means is literally more shit to clean. So much.

73.158 - 80.73 Wade

It's so bizarre. In my entire life, and I have owned a house, I have lived in apartments, I have never had a toilet break on me.

80.71 - 106.127 Mark

i've never seen a toilet like just in my own home at least just yeah i've never seen a toilet shut down three of the five have broken and i was so mad i was so fed up because we had water damage in the same ceiling that mormon guy was i was just like you know what i'm done i don't care what it cost i called i was like bring me five toilets install them do my bidding today like oh we can

106.107 - 124.627 Mark

do it tomorrow. I was like, fine, tomorrow. I literally replaced every toilet in the house because I was just like, I'm so fed up. I'm tired of like every six months finding more water damage. They're like, eh, we replaced the spickity spookity inside the backity backity. You won't have any more drips. It's like, oh, well, fuck right off because I will.

201.866 - 203.208 Bob

It's fine.

203.769 - 208.255 Mark

Actually, you know what? It's still a piece of shit. I hate it every day. All right. You still...

208.657 - 235.558 Mark

eating it things are actually pretty good we uh got rid of our old house so i'm no longer a man with 10 toilets i'm only a man with five you have five toilets dude i feel like every house we've ever looked at in cincinnati for some reason it's like one bedroom five toilets you know what i just i say that but i we do have four toilets in my house i mean for cincinnati man i don't know it's because we have chili or what it is but they're like you need toilets you need so many toilets

235.538 - 254.682 Mark

You gotta have the capacity to dump out on every floor of your house at least one location, okay? You gotta have a master bathroom. If you have a two-story house and a basement, which I feel like a basement's pretty standard here, but you have to have a basement toilet, a main floor toilet, a master toilet, and then like one upstairs guest toilet. You have to have at least four toilets.

254.723 - 276.325 Mark

Otherwise, it's not really a house. It's a weird warehouse. You've been set up. You're on like Ashton Kutcher's Punk'd. Was he the one that hosted Punk'd? I think so, actually. So if you don't have four toilets or more in Cincinnati, you're on an episode of Punk'd. I've lived here all my life. It's been a 20-year buildup. He's coming. Ashton is coming. All right. So that's doing well for you?

353.242 - 369.006 Mark

you have new plumbing issues yeah so um we had the backflow thing removed right then they wanted to come like check everything out like okay we're just gonna come out do like an inspection make sure everything's working good and they came out working good they're like well while we're here let's go ahead and just test like we'll do your normal inspection we'll test your faucets and things

368.986 - 385.989 Mark

The guest room shower, they went to turn on like the tub faucet thing, and it was pouring out water, and they're like, all right. They flip it to the shower. Shower like trickles out some water. The tub part's still pouring out. And then behind the tub part, water starts spraying, like where it connects to the wall, which is not where it's supposed to be spraying.

386.249 - 395.061 Mark

So we went to replace that, and a plumber came back and was like, okay, you guys have the trim thing? I'm like, yep, got it. Is it the right one? Yep, this looks like the right one. Great. Couldn't take long.

395.041 - 416.34 Mark

went to install it and I guess it comes with like an o-ring that helps seal it and somehow the plumber took this new o-ring and just fucking ripped it in half or something and was like ah well I can't finish installing it because you see this o-ring is damaged I accidentally ripped it whenever I was doing blah blah blah blah I was like oh okay he's like don't worry we got tons of these I'll get one be back out tomorrow to fix it they have ghosted me since I've heard nothing

416.32 - 433.984 Mark

Oh, no. Oh, no. This O-ring is lost in the void. Per usual, we've got company coming soon, and I guess I've got to rule out that particular bedroom because, well, the bathroom. If you try to use the shower. Also, this is a more subtle thing that doesn't apply to everyone.

518.144 - 536.507 Mark

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536.487 - 555.475 Wade

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555.455 - 572.878 Mark

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572.898 - 592.718 Mark

Fastest based on OOPLA speed test intelligence data. Second half 2025. All rights reserved. But this week we're going to be starting it in an unusual fashion. We're going to be starting with small talk. Oh boy, a lot of great things, a lot of great things. Did you know radon is a thing and there's systems that mitigate it?

592.979 - 609.641 Mark

And boy, when those systems go wrong and they buzz for like four or five seconds, they make a horrible kicking noise every four minutes throughout all of your entire life. And you can even hear it in your bedroom and you're trying to go to sleep and like you get that moment where it's like... Kind of wakes your ass up real quick.

774.343 - 789.255 Mark

We have a generator and the wood got damaged around the generator when someone was doing like some kind of landscaping thing. on the generator itself. So we replaced like a piece of wood and the guy was over there working and I was like, you replaced the wood on around the generator and he hit a gas line and now it's leaking a maple syrup smell. We're all going to die.

789.515 - 807.93 Mark

So the first thing I did was I immediately called like the gas company and I was like, they were like, this is after hours in case of emergency. I was like, yes, it could be. And they were like, hey, what's going on? I was like, does gas smell like maple syrup? And they were like, I don't think so. But you know what? I'm going to get you one of our technicians. They'll call you in a few minutes.

807.95 - 825.418 Mark

We'll get you sorted. And while I was waiting to hear back, I was doing more research. I was like, maple syrup smell, maple syrup smell. Could be urine. Could be an air conditioning coolant leak. And I was like, AC units right there. AC coolant leak. That's it. I'm going to call and get someone from the AC company out here. So I called and I was like, hey, you guys know that maple syrup smell.

825.438 - 836.072 Mark

I saw it online. I've got that. And the person was like, um, never heard that one before, but I, okay. Maybe, maybe you have an older model. No, no.

836.052 - 859.984 Mark

no you can't trick me i've got the maple syrup stink i sounded like a madman because i kept calling numbers i was like dude maple syrup i know i know it's you i know it's you i know maple syrup i got the smell maple syrup so i kept calling and eventually like you know the the gas company the technician called me back and he's like it would smell like uh eggs or something whatever smell he told me like propane has a scent other gas has a scent he was going through different scents of things

970.191 - 988.035 Mark

That's what happened was the guy held his fingers toward me like in a very, took me a minute to realize and attempt to get me to sniff his fingers. Well, he didn't want to say out loud the words, smell my fingers. I don't like to admit it to anyone, but yes, I paid this man $60 to come to my house so I could smell his fingers on my birthday. Oh, did you?

988.435 - 1005.616 Mark

Yes, three separate times I smelled this man's fingers. Three times? That's a little strange. And none of the times that his fingers smelled like maple syrup. It got away from bad to worse. The mystery thickens. You know, and there were only two pipes you rubbed on, so I swear to God, I don't know what the third one was that I smelled, but they were all bad.

1005.817 - 1029.561 Mark

I don't mean to say it, but have you thought about a Canadian ghost? I hadn't. There are a lot of Canadian ghost refugees in Ohio. Are you, is your house on a Canadian burial ground? Is this like, I just got to ask. Yes, people do. They have their pilgrimage from Canada to Cincinnati to bury their loved ones where I live quite often.

1029.541 - 1045.236 Mark

But yeah, smelled his fingers, no maple syrup, nothing good, really weird. And the guy's like, okay, well, let me check a couple other things. You have like an exhaust pipe over here from your furnace. I'm going to go check that. Just to make sure it's not a gas leak, I've got this fun little thing that looks like a Ghostbuster tool I'm going to rub across all your pipes.

1045.256 - 1057.067 Mark

So we did that, no gas leak, but he did smell our exhaust thing from our furnace. He was like, the scent's kind of strong. I'm going to take a look at your furnace, make sure we're all good there, and then I guess I'll get out of here. And the smell doesn't go away. Call someone else. It's like, okay.

1114.928 - 1130.305 Mark

He's like, I don't know what made the maple syrup noise, but like your heat exchange is you need a new furnace. Oh, no. Can you just do that real quick? I don't know if you guys remember this, but a year, year and a half ago, old house. Guess what? Had to replace the furnace in the AC unit. I do remember that.

1130.285 - 1148.952 Mark

yeah so the guy's like you need a new furnace and like you know your ac unit it's newer uh but some parts were soldered and welded that aren't supposed to be uh it's not really a great brand and in all honesty i was gonna just tell you that you might want to look into replacing it at some point before it goes bad because it was just it was installed really poorly and i was like

1148.932 - 1161.252 Mark

Oh, so if you're going to do the furnace, you could do a bundle where you do the furnace and AC unit. And I was like, dude, I just did this like a year ago. Don't do this to me, man. Not you. Not like this, please. Maple syrup. I called you about maple syrup. Don't tell me the furnace. Maple syrup.

1161.412 - 1162.073 Bob

Maple syrup.

1162.213 - 1178.143 Mark

We can have some guys come out tomorrow. I'll have another guy come out today. He'll go over pricing and stuff. No, I don't want to. I don't want to do it. I don't want to do it. Ultimately had to wait. Meanwhile, you know, Tyler, Bird, Foo, they're chilling. They're like, man, we can go downtown to Cincinnati. We go to the zoo. Maybe we can call it Bob Mandy.

1242.1 - 1262.205 Mark

That was before they were even in town. Here's the kicker. Do you know what the cake said that they brought me that I looked at? Sorry about the maple syrup. Happy Bert ran out of letters. Close. Mark, you have a guess? No. We have an inside joke from where we went to Disney a year and a half ago. And as sports fans, Bert's a fan of the 49ers. I'm a fan of the Bengals.

1262.345 - 1280.34 Mark

So you're a fan of the worst team. Come on, man. Come on, man. A year and a half ago, the 49ers and Bengals were both in the AFC championship game, and the 49ers had zero quarterbacks. Their quarterback broke both of his arms. Their other quarterback had a concussion. They were to the point where they had a quarterback who could not throw. All he could do was hand the ball off. They lost.

1280.32 - 1298.953 Mark

The joke phrase of the day became, can this day get any worse? Later that night, the Bengals lost to the Chiefs after one of the Bengals players tackled Patrick Mahomes three miles out of bounds. And we said, can this day get any worse? So they brought me a cookie cake that jokingly said, can this day get any worse? And then my furnace and AC unit broke. It got worse.

1298.933 - 1321.414 Mark

so what smelled like maple syrup yeah what was the maple syrup about never solved the mystery of the maple syrup did it go away i didn't so i've gone out and i've smelled a couple times i don't smell it anymore so my best guesses are it was in fact the ac unit or it was some animal's urine because apparently some animal could have something going on where their urine can have like a maple syrupy smell canadians

1321.394 - 1339.731 Mark

But the weird thing is the smell seemed like it was higher up on like some bushes. It was like middle up on these bushes. So it wasn't like... It had to have been like... It was Chica. Chica. Chica shat on Mark's Vision Pro then came and pissed on my bushes. She's learning how to defecate higher. Mark, go smell your Vision Pro. Does it smell like maple syrup? Did you taste the poop?