We Won't Get Banned For This (NSFW)

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Distractible 45 min 2 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 26 days ago
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What is the premise and format of the “We Won’t Get Banned For This” episode?

Unknown 0:00
Good evening, gentle listener, and welcome to Distractible. This episode, it's a smut spectacular. Wickless Wade loves Romulus Xenos, has a cunning canine, and leads the lads to cartoon character crudity. Majorly Mark gets sweaty in Texas, doesn't dig Bowser, nor situational Spider-Man sex scenes. Bedraggled Bob gets blown away and creamy after chores. From car wash capers to porn parodies. It's time for We Won't Get Banned For This. Now sit back and prepare to be distracted and enjoy the show.
Wade 0:44
Howdy, everyone. Welcome back to another episode of Distractible. I'm today's host. Wait, because I won. I'm joined, as always, by my friends, Mark and Bob. Hello.
Mark Fischbach 0:53
Hi. Hi. Sorry, I just, my eyes saw something that I wish they didn't saw. I can't go back in time to... Who's butthole? No, it's not a butthole. It's just, you know, sometimes I read the news from our reporters in the field and I saw a headline that just... Anyway, continue.
Wade 1:10
Don't worry, I'm sure you'll see worse today. If you haven't joined us before, this is the show where one of us hosts, the other two compete for points, and the winner gets to host the next episode. The game, the points, all that's determined by the host. Some might say it doesn't matter, but I would say it could. How goes things? It's been a whole since last time we recorded, since we recorded.
Mark Fischbach 1:27
I discovered how much the human body can sweat.
Wade 1:30
what you were looking at just now
Mark Fischbach 1:31
no no that's different it's what i saw a picture of it's a lot i'm sweating right now yeah i'm gonna go this whole episode with never saying what this this title is but i'm gonna refer to it through the entire thing
Wade 1:43
i'm gonna keep referencing it and trying to get you to
Mark Fischbach 1:46
but i
Wade 1:46
accept
Mark Fischbach 1:46
that premise it's it's horrible that's horrible
Wade 1:49
but i'm gonna give you a point for whatever the word is i can't think of for holding your ground
Mark Fischbach 1:54
there's a word for that a staunch point you're being very staunch right now thank you thank you thank you
Wade 1:59
there we go i like the word staunch bob i'm gonna give you a point for the word staunch mark i guess you get two points for being staunch i don't know anyway that's probably all the small talk points that anyone will get unless bob says something completely crazy wow
Mark Fischbach 2:09
okay well i'll just relax then i guess
Wade 2:14
i was gonna not give any small talk points but man i gave in right away
Mark Fischbach 2:18
I was going to build the story up a little bit more, but I just have like a really short story about how I'm an idiot. And I got to put that on display for one very lucky woman at the car wash. Go on. So this is really not that good of a story. It just is like it's in my head and I can't let go of it because of how it played out. I got a new car recently. And, you know, when you get a new car, you get that paper license plate until you get like your real metal license plate and you put that on there. And I got the new car and it's been kind of like raining on and off. And it's like pollen season or something. The car got really dirty really quickly. And it's a dark colored car. And so I was like, well, I'll just I should get a car wash.
Mark Fischbach 3:00
I'll get a nice touchless quality car wash. Just rinse this bad boy off.

How do the hosts explain the game rules and point‑scoring system for this episode?

Mark Fischbach 3:05
I don't know what I thought a paper license plate was made to withstand, but it didn't occur to me. I just went to this car wash and I pulled in and it was doing the whole thing. You're at the premium.
Wade 3:19
Oh, because you're filthy rich.
Mark Fischbach 3:21
And it's one of those where you sit and you park and it washes and then the dryers are just like big blowy things and you drive slowly out and it blows your car dry. And I did that. And I was like pulling very slowly, trying to use every all the dryer time. And as I got as the back of the car went through the dryers and I thought I was done out of nowhere off of the back of the car and like in my mirror in the corner of my eye, I just see something go just like explode away as small. Just fucking what? I was like, is that an animal? What happened? Was there a bat under the car? And so I pull out a little and I park and I put my blink, my hazards on and I get out and I go into that paper license plate was not put.

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