Don't call it a book club.
Episodes
Memories of Ice: Part Two
05 Aug 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan and Luke warm up by doing movie/tv/game executives’ jobs for them (7:33 to skip). The boys talk etiquette for turning down human flesh at a ...
Memories of Ice: Part One
29 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Opening with our conflicting thoughts on Bo Burnham’s new special today (10:50 to skip to the book). Elder gods are back baby and we’ve go...
Deadhouse Gates: Part Three
22 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The boys start with some obligatory Space Jam II predictions (9:28 to skip). Wuff, wuff this Chain of Dogs is barking and it has a pretty emo vibe if ...
Deadhouse Gates: Part Two
15 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We’re getting all of our foodie takes out for the warmup this time (6:00 to skip). Shouts out to Coltaine and the Wickans, great vibes and flexe...
Deadhouse Gates: Part One
08 Jul 2021
Contributed by Lukas
The boys return with a hot take about the most beautiful game out there (8:53 to skip). The Malazan empire grows pretty dark in this book but the boys...
Gardens of the Moon: Part Three
17 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan decide it’s time to get hype again (7:15 to skip). Dan loves Oponn’s style and Luke reminds us that in fact, dogs are the bes...
Gardens of the Moon: Part Two
10 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan comes up with a profound observation about the nature of good and evil to start us off (7:09 to skip). Murillio has got the V I B E S and Crokus i...
Gardens of the Moon: Part One
03 Jun 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re talking about all the important bits from the first 6 chapters, like how much you should spend on candles and how regular long hair ...
The Lost War: Part Three
27 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan check out the first 3 episodes of the new Netflix show, Shadow and Bone (skip to 13:55 to avoid spoilers). Aranock starts this section of...
The Lost War: Part Two
20 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Another classic segment of Dan explains it to Luke, what are we doing with Mynygogg you guys? Time for Rasa to ask for a raise cause she has MVP poten...
The Lost War: Part One
13 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
To warm up Dan makes a quick retraction and Luke become a wedding registry innovator. Seriously, though why has no one done this yet? (11:17 to skip)....
The Obelisk Gate: Part Two
06 May 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan’s bringing us back to our roots with a super-specific rant about mundane life events (10:20 to skip). We finished the book for this episode ...
The Obelisk Gate: Part One
29 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan are not very excited about one of these characters coming back, can you guess which one it is? Finally we get a name for a new segment on...
Bloodline
22 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Will Wight continues to impress with his ability to make the power scale in his stories absolutely absurd. In our return to Sacred Valley, we’ve...
Bonus Episode: Anticipation for Bloodline
21 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Check out this short bonus episode to get ready for our full Bloodline episode coming out tomorrow! This one is all about our big expectations for the...
Seveneves: Part Three
15 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan has the number one podcast rant of all time this week (3:45 to skip). A lot of learning about space stuff in this book so hope y’all are rea...
Seveneves: Part Two
08 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
We’re once again warming up with TV about high school, too much cringe! (8:30 to skip). Oh look, your supervisor is trying to turn your workplac...
Seveneves: Part One
01 Apr 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan finally weigh in on the Potato Head controversy. Special thanks to VOLO for the intro and outro music.The post Seveneves: Part One first ...
Before They Are Hanged: Part Three
25 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Any First Law conversation is amiss without some good Glokta analysis, buddy you know there are other jobs, right? Big shoutout to Joe for explaining ...
Before They Are Hanged: Part Two
18 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Y’all have heard of snow mirages right? Huge problem up in north Angland, trust us. Luke and Dan can’t decide if Glokta has done a good jo...
Before They Are Hanged: Part One
11 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Very long but important intro, learn something about dogs in this one guys (skip to 16:15 to get to the book). Forgive us if we forget or repeat thing...
The Traitor Baru Cormorant: Part Three
04 Mar 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan recounts his tale of woe in Old School Runescape (follow us on Twitch for the upcoming stream or skip 5:57 if you are a noob). Luke teaches Dan ho...
The Traitor Baru Cormorant: Part Two
25 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Dan’s latest Star Wars rant is all about calling BS on Obi Wan, c’mon Obi Cruise you’re better than that (6:55 to skip). Two questio...
The Traitor Baru Cormorant: Part One
18 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Blackbird182 wants to remind everyone about a certain game before we get into the book (9:57 to skip). Dan gives everyone a pass to come back to these...
The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water: Part 2
10 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Travis from The Fantasy Inn Podcast joins us to finish our discussion on The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water. Check out Part 1 on their webs...
The True Bastards: Part Three
05 Feb 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Alright keeping it a buck here, no one will blame you for skipping the intro this week (6:27). Luke and Dan rethink their ranking of the warriors from...
The True Bastards: Part Two
28 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s warmup focuses on our complacency in menu innovation (skip to 7:30 if you’ll hear no criticisms of fast food). Big apologies to Fe...
The True Bastards: Part One
21 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Things are ROUGH for these half-orcs y’all so it’s a good thing they are all optimistic and encouraging! Dan thinks we need some new prior...
The Way of Kings: Part Four
14 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Looks like Dan’s plan for sneaking spheres is out, but never give up folks. Research funding must be way down in Alethi society right now becaus...
The Way of Kings: Part Three
07 Jan 2021
Contributed by Lukas
Luke hits us with a blast from the past (6:20 to skip). Dan suggests a silver lining to chasm duty and Luke is *emotional*. We also find out why Luke ...
The Way of Kings: Part Two
31 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To get us warmed up Dan wants to reframe our generational nerd terminology (skip to 7:30 for book discussion). Bring Luke some frilly laces to throw o...
The Way of Kings: Part One
24 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Of course Luke and Dan are gonna talk about the limitations of having a safehand and the power of these eyebrows. Luke points out which spren would be...
Rage of Dragons: Part Three
17 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Today we’re starting off with a rant that everyone is going to relate to (skip to 6:30 for Rage of Dragons). I’m not the bravest person in...
Rage of Dragons: Part Two
10 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan may have his dumbest warm-up rant yet and Luke decides to add his own magic to the mix (9:45 to skip). Dan is pissed about the Chosen’s abst...
Rage of Dragons: Part One
03 Dec 2020
Contributed by Lukas
If you were worried about Dan after last episode let us put your fears to rest before getting to the book. Finally we’re back to dragons, and we...
Furies of Calderon: Part Three
26 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke is concerned that he may be sharing too much, and Dan definitely shares too much (please skip to 6:00). Dan needs to get deeper into a comment fr...
Furies of Calderon: Part Two
19 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A double warmup for this episode, skip to 9:40 if you’re only interested in Furies of Calderon. Dan updates his Tavi theory and brings us way ou...
Furies of Calderon: Part One
12 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Did anything exciting happen this week? Luke and Dan can’t think of anything (4:50 to skip). Dan leads Luke immediately astray on the pronunciat...
To Sleep in a Sea of Stars: Part Three
05 Nov 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Incredibly hot take to open this one, skip to 5:30 if you don’t want to get mad at Luke and just want to hear about the ending of to Sleep in a ...
To Sleep in a Sea of Stars: Part Two
29 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Cryotubes: do we want them or naw? Luke wants to talk about the most boring part of this book AGAIN. Also, Kira clearly needs to get a face tattoo and...
To Sleep in a Sea of Stars: Part One
22 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This is a long book and we read a third of it so make sure you get to Part II Chapter 11 before listening. As always Dan is incredibly suspicious and ...
Wintersteel: Part Two
15 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan shout out correct predictions from the /r/Iteration110Cradle subreddit (follow us on twitter @DCitaBC for those embarrassing tweets). Dan...
Wintersteel: Part One
08 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To mark the excitement of the new Cradle book Dan is starting this episode with a great theory addressing a classic Cradle question. We’re divin...
Wintersteel Fan Theories
05 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan disprove a whole barrel of theories from the /r/Iteration110Cradle subreddit in anticipation of the Wintersteel release tomorrow. The rul...
Napolean Dynamite
01 Oct 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Hey remember Napolean Dynamite? We decided to give it a rewatch and share our thoughts. We’re digging deep into all of the scenes that you thoug...
Sword of Kaigen: Part Three
24 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
To get warmed up today Dan goes on a rollercoaster of emotions with his perspective on gift cards (skip to 8:45 for book discussion). As we finish up ...
Sword of Kaigen: Part Two
17 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Can you guess who Luke and Dan are going to be dunking on for most of this episode? Probably because he is an absolute monster. The boys speculate abo...
Sword of Kaigen: Part One
10 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan doesn’t understand the concept of a warm up so don’t skip the intro on this one . Luke has a fool proof method of winning one of these...
Short Stories by JY Neon Yang (feat. Colored Pages Book Club)
03 Sep 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan join forces with Ako and Marci of the Colored Pages Book Club to talk about Auspicium Melioris Aevi and Patterns of a Murmuration, In Bil...
The Black Prism: Part Three
20 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
How much you wanna make a bet Luke could throw a football over them mountains? (4:05 to skip the Napoleon Dynamite fan segment) Dan is still not convi...
The Black Prism: Part Two
13 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Orholam sent a message via recording issues that a warm up will not be welcome in this episode so we jump straight into the book. A certain clothing b...
The Black Prism: Part One
06 Aug 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke starts us off with some serious introvert energy (7:00 to skip this karaoke rant). Luke and Dan already have a few suggestions for how to improve...
On the Shoulders of Titans: Part Three
30 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan brings back a beloved segment, find out the connection between business suits and water parks (or skip to 8:30). Luke is a huge fan of alley-oops ...
On the Shoulders of Titans: Part Two
23 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
You are the top first year enchanter at the Lorian Heights Academy. You have studied hard to get to the top and had to sacrifice to keep up your grade...
On the Shoulders of Titans: Part One
16 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Tons of questions this week about the curriculum in our schools, We’re starting to get concerned that the bow and arrow lobby has too much power...
Sufficiently Advanced Magic: Part Three
09 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan start by addressing some comments from /r/climberscourt. Also, Luke mentions Patrick is a Shaper which is definitely wrong (he is an Elem...
Sufficiently Advanced Magic: Part Two
02 Jul 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Thanks to everyone sending us your thoughts on the last episode, keep ’em coming by commenting on our reddit posts on the r/dontcallitabookclub ...
Sufficiently Advanced Magic: Part One
25 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan needs to know why Harry Potter never got Lasik (skip to 6:12 if you don’t). Luke and Dan want a class revolution in Valia. They also start l...
Circe: Part Three
18 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
A lot of questions and healthy debate over our boy Trygon. Cool or no? Tell us your thoughts by tweeting us @DCitaBC or commenting on our subreddit r/...
Circe: Part Two
12 Jun 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Very relatable rant today that all cooks will appreciate (skip to 5:10 if you’ve never cooked anything and just want to hear about Circe). Can w...
Circe: Part One
28 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
No spoilers today so if you haven’t read up to chapter 11 stay away! Although if you’re someone who can get spoiled by this book we want t...
Morning Star: Part Three
21 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke gets us warmed up with a Red Rover rant that is so on point (5:49). The boys want to see something cooler than a parrot. Luke takes an extremely ...
Morning Star: Part Two
14 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
The rants are back! Listen to Luke’s very hot take about recipe blogs (or skip to 10:10 for book discussion). Dan is loving this book, but we do...
Morning Star: Part One
07 May 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan reminds Darrow that his situation isn’t really *that* bad. The boys have no idea where the Society’s obsession with hummingbirds comes...
Golden Son: Part Three
30 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan thinks that Darrow has a great future in the WWE, and we have another what’s in the box situation on our hands. Luke has an issue with Darro...
Golden Son: Part Two
23 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan wants to know why no one in Sci-Fi seems to be concerned with deepfakes (book discussion starts at 4:50). So the box didn’t contain a Bop-It...
Golden Son: Part One
16 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Darrow and the Red Rising series are back! Read up to chapter 15 for this episode and then stop if you’re an insane person like us. We get excited ...
The Vagrant: Part Three
09 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan recommend podcasts they have been listening to during quarantine. If you don’t want to hear us talk about Bambi and Chocolate Bear,...
The Vagrant: Part Two
02 Apr 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We’re getting everybody involved with our first listener submitted rant (skip to 11:45 if sneezing isn’t relatable to you). The Uncivil is looking...
The Vagrant: Part One
26 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In a return to form, Dan starts the episode with a profound observation on an everyday issue (5:58 to skip the rant). This world sounds absolutely ter...
Uncrowned
19 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Since everyone has so much extra time at home (stay safe everybody) we’ve got an extra long episode to round out our Cradle marathon. You miss 100% ...
Underlord
12 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Dan gets pretty heated (some would say too heated) about some past comments (we love em). Luke and Dan puzzle out who we are rooting for in this serie...
Ghostwater
05 Mar 2020
Contributed by Lukas
As a very professional podcast we never give away how much we like or dislike a book. Ok never is a strong word, you might be able to tell if we just ...
Skysworn
27 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
With the death of one theory, another arises to take its place. Also, we have a few questions about y’alls alternative Jai Chen theory and we ne...
Blackflame
20 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Name pronunciation is one of the few things we don’t excel at and we admit (some of) our mistakes then address other comments from listeners. Se...
Soulsmith
13 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Upon advancing to the peak of Soulsmith, the boys find they are overflowing with podcast madra. Dan and Luke respond to fellow sacred artists from /r/...
Unsouled
07 Feb 2020
Contributed by Lukas
We begin our Cradle journey here with theories, nitpicks, and character critiques. What’s up with Elder Whisper? How wrong was Lindon’s ch...
Red Rising: Part Three
31 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
This week on The Institute, tales of woe and heartbreak, triumph and glory, vengeance and betrayal. Be sure to tweet #RedRisingRealityShow with your v...
Red Rising: Part Two
24 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Coming out of the gates swingin on this one with a very specific rant about hummus (if you couldn’t care less about hummus skip to 9:50). If you...
Red Rising: Part One
17 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
Daniel gets worked up about how much everyone is talking about a certain wellness brand that will not be named (take Dan’s advice, lets just all...
The Raveling: Alec Hutson Interview
10 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In a surprise twist, Alec comes back on the pod to talk our thoughts on The Raveling, grape seeds, and what is next in the Hutson universe. Don’...
The Shadow King: Part Three
03 Jan 2020
Contributed by Lukas
In this final episode of The Raveling series Luke and Dan talk giant doors and Cho Lin gets a reality check. If anyone knows why smells are less smell...
The Shadow King: Part Two
27 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Apologies to Senacus for anything mean ever said about you. We take it back you are just the sweetest. We’re also taking back anything positive ...
The Shadow King: Part One
20 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Luke gives out a free e-reader innovation: quick map access. We love a good map (skip to 4:16 if you couldn’t care less about maps). First thing...
Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell
12 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Wow, who knew we could find a new nugget of Harry Potter to open with (go to 9:00 to skip this intro). First, let’s talk head shapes on Threnody...
The Silver Sorceress: Part Three
06 Dec 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Having a dope home library: great. Having a dope home library without knowing how to read: not great. And why are we still ok with the same ol’ ...
The Silver Sorceress: Part Two
29 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Gobble gobble, Dan complains about characters not getting minor illnesses (feel free to skip to the book discussion 8:14). We need one of these immort...
The Silver Sorceress: Part One
22 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Buckle up for a conspiracy theory heavy episode, this one gets a little wild. The technological wonders of umbrellas are discussed, and we even lay ou...
The Grey Bastards: Jonathan French Interview
15 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Honestly, one of the most legitimately informative episodes we have ever recorded thanks to Jonathan French. Want to know how the Sludgeman travels ar...
Call of Duty 62: Podcast Warfare
08 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
No book today so this episode is jam-packed with topics. Literally. Like we actually talk jam conspiracies before giving our video game takes.(10:00)....
The Grey Bastards: Part Three
01 Nov 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Just in time for Halloween, Dan and Luke hit you with some of the best/worst fantasy couples costumes. Hit us up @DCitaBC with your entry in the #fant...
The Grey Bastards: Part Two
25 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The Bastards have a wild government. As well respected fantasy constitutional scholars we’ve got your questions covered with in depth analysis. ...
The Grey Bastards: Part One
18 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Your favorite podcasting frails get right into the mud with some of these dirty hogs. Luke and Dan have already fallen head over heels for Ugfuck. Don...
Jade City: Part Three
11 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Did Luke and Dan get replaced by serous book critics? Good question Jessica but no. We just get really into the weeds on character analysis in this on...
Jade City: Part Two
04 Oct 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Luke and Dan decide the FEMA in Janloon needs an complete restructuring. Luke thinks everyone needs to get just a little bit more hype. Okay maybe a l...
Jade City: Part One
27 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The boys are officially #TeamHilo. Sure he has his faults, but gosh darn it he is just so genuine. Also not to split our allegiances but we are so dow...
The Fall of Hyperion: Part Three
20 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
You arrive at the Prancing Pony in the middle of a stormy night. Do you take the comfort and security of a booth, or do you go with the flexibility an...
The Fall of Hyperion: Part Two
13 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
The hot issue of the day: Are people that ride obnoxiously loud motorcycles in quiet neighborhoods underrepresented in fantasy literature? Of course t...
The Fall of Hyperion: Part One
05 Sep 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Listen to the soothing, dulcet tones of Luke and Dan as they offer some much needed strategic advice to the Hegemony. Breathe deep, and allow yourself...
Sword of Destiny: Part Two
29 Aug 2019
Contributed by Lukas
Dan reveals his tough on crime approach to Harry Potter (9:32) before joining Luke this THURSDAY in a tag team SUPER SLAM against the ridiculous numbe...