Episode 121: Aaron Ben Ze'ev discusses the arc of love
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What is love and why does it matter for human flourishing?
Hello and welcome to the Elucidations Podcast. My name is Julia Leo and I'm going to tell you what is coming up in today's episode. For many people, love is categorized by its intensity. It comes naturally and it can solve all problems that come in its way. People know true love when they see it. As a result, we have done many things in the name of love. Sometimes these things can even end up hurting other people. So what exactly is love? Is it rational or is it a feeling? How important is love for human flourishing? Our guest Tahan Benzev stresses the importance of interaction in love. According to him, love is an activity with another person instead of just a feeling. In addition, it is something we must work hard for.
Love is not without compromise. If we keep these in mind, love can be long lasting and it can contribute to the flourishing of everyone involved in it. To further explore these questions, this episode of Elucidations will feature Ahom Benzev for discussing romantic love.
Hello and welcome to Elucidations, an unexpected philosophy podcast. I'm Matt Tykman.
I'm Julia Leo.
With us today is Aron Benzev. Professor of Philosophy at the University of Haifa. And he is here to discuss the Ark of Love. His book by the same title, The Ark of Love, is out now from University of Chicago Press, so get it while it's hot. Aaron Ven Zev, welcome. Thank you. So I feel like love is sometimes kind of an underexplored topic in philosophy, uh which is one reason it was really exciting to come across your book. One question I always have about love, and I always feel like I kinda go back and forth on this, is is love a rational response to a person if you fall in love? Is are you using your reasoning abilities? Or is it like irrational? Is it just like sort of like almost a bodily compulsion?
You just a an automatic response to the person? So w what do you think about this issue? Do you think that there's like a rational component to love or how does that all fit together?
If we take rationality to mean intellectual deliberation, then romantic love is not about intellectual deliberation. Romantic love and falling in love is about immediate response to other person. It is an experience. It is an attitude toward other person. It can be involve intellectual deliberation but it is not the basic. The basic is a kind of intuition, a kind of immediate attitude towards the other person. Intellectual deliberation may change it, but it is not the essence. However, romantic love is not irrational. It is very rational to follow your heart. And even I say don't sink in love. When you begin to sink in love, love may disappear. In romantic love you should follow your heart, not follow your head.
It doesn't mean that you should disregard your head, your rational capacities, but the main Direction should be taken by your heart, by your gut feeling, by your immediate intuition. Love is the product of our heart. If you say to your partner You see I want to think whether I love you. It is out of love. When your partner say to you Do you love me? And the answer is let me think about it and I'll tell you tomorrow morning about it, it is not love anymore. Love should be an immediate response. And if you don't have the immediate response, it is not love.
So that's really interesting. It To me it immediately raises the question. If you're in love with somebody, do you always know it? Or would it be possible to be deceived about whether you're in love, like be in love without knowing it?
Yes, y we are not always aware of our attitude. We are not always aware how profound is our love. However We are aware that we want to be with the other person that we love. We want to do activity with the other person. And therefore, we are aware of the characteristic of love. And love is activity with the other person. It is not just feeling somewhere for yourself. It is a the wish to be with the other person and to act with the other person. Love may have many types. We have parental love, we have sibling love, we have love of God. What is characteristic of romantic love is that in addition to
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Chapters
5 chapters
1
What is love and why does it matter for human flourishing?
0:00–5:54
2
Is romantic love a rational response or an immediate, bodily intuition?
5:54–11:44
3
How does love function as an activity and dialogue between two people?
11:44–20:34
4
What are the two main features of romantic love – sexual attraction and friendship?
20:34–35:13
5
Why is equal status and a 25 % “partner advantage” important for lasting love?
35:13–41:31
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Elucidations
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