Ep 59 What's Really Holding You Back? with Madeleine de Hauke
episodePreviously titled “Ep 49 What's Really Holding You Back? with Madeleine de Hauke” — renamed by the publisher on Aug 6, 2026
English Talk — Speaking up in English at work for introverts with Louise Jefferies
47 min
2 speakers
7 chapters
transcribed 1 month ago
Transcript
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Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Why does Louise introduce the episode and what is the focus on speaking up in English?
Hello and welcome to English Talk, the podcast for people who feel insecure speaking English as a non-native at work. Join me and my guests as we chat about the challenges of speaking up in English when you're not only a native speaker but also a bit of an introvert.
This week, I'm joined by Dr. Maddalena de Haag. Maddalena is a medical doctor turned executive coach and leadership trainer who gives managers of complex teams the tools to lead with impact without losing themselves in the process. Maddalena is also known as the meeting doctor, twice featured in the Financial Times. Maddalena, thank you so much for joining me today. It's lovely to have you here on the podcast.
It's so lovely to be here, Louise. I've been looking forward to it.
Likewise. Now, Madeleine, let's start with the fact that you are a medical doctor by training, yet you are an executive coach and leadership trainer. Tell me a little bit about that. What happened? Why the transition?
You know, it's a question that I've had over the years so many times. And it's only recently that I've actually been telling the truth of why I decided to walk away from a career in medicine and walk into a corporate career first. So I've had about 25 years of a corporate career. And the last 10 years, I'm now a leadership coach. But I wanted to be a doctor originally. And it was the true reason was because I was absolutely petrified that I was going to harm a patient because I have dyslexia. And while I was a house officer, a patient died. died because of medical error. It wasn't my medical error because I couldn't prescribe at that time yet, but they died because of medical error. And it was a patient that I knew very well.
I had clocked him in when I was doing accident and emergency, and then I followed him up um and it was such a shock uh and it was at that time this was the 1990s it was at that time where people weren't admitting mistakes and so it was all hush hush you know a homeless person and I was so scared that next year it would be me prescribing medicine I might make a mistake because of my dyslexia or another reason I was so scared that I thought I I'm not going to do it. So there's a story where it was my first day at work for my, as I was a really qualified doctor, it was my first day at work. I was walking towards the hospital. I was about to walk through those big glass hospital doors, first day of the job.
And I was so petrified. I did an about turn and walked through a wooden old church door instead. and cried and walked out of that church and into a corporate career because it, you know, it was safer for me. So that's the real reason the, the lie, which was also true that I've been telling, you know, until more recently was that, you know, I, I wanted to raise a family. My husband was already leaving the UK and moving to a different country. I wanted to follow him. Very logical, real reasons for me not to follow the career. But, um, the underlying cause was fear.
Yeah, interesting. What occurs to me when you say this, apart from the fact that you've hidden this, I think we sort of hide it partly from ourselves. I think maybe we hide it from ourselves more than we do from other people. And I think it's this sense of shame, fear and shame, which is a big reason why we're talking today. So that's the one side, but also, You obviously, dyslexia obviously didn't stop you from becoming a medical doctor. Yeah, somehow there was this lack of self-trust or, yeah, brought on this fear.
That's right. I think the fear is there and then our brains rationalize. I talk about fear being very sneaky. It doesn't like to be found out. It doesn't like you to know that you're making decisions out of fear. It wants to rationalize so that we don't realize it's fear. And we're happy with our decisions, really. So we don't feel bad about ourselves. We don't feel ashamed about ourselves, which would be the worst possible thing. Like you said, shame is the worst possible culmination of fear. And at its worst possible ending, it does cause people to even end their own lives rather than face shame if you take it to the extreme.
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Chapters
7 chapters
1
Why does Louise introduce the episode and what is the focus on speaking up in English?
0:05–6:28
2
How did Madeleine’s fear and dyslexia lead her to leave medicine for a corporate career?
6:28–13:20
3
What role does shame play in hiding our fears and how does it affect confidence?
13:20–22:32
4
Why is fear a normal biological response and how does it differ from shame?
22:32–31:15
5
How does trauma (big and small) shape our nervous system and influence decision‑making?
31:15–38:57
6
What practical coaching techniques help people take tiny, consistent steps to work with fear?
38:57–45:11
7
How do multilingual leaders and introverts experience unique confidence challenges?
45:11–47:21