A JackAss-ian Figure | Horatio Nelson (Part 2/10)
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Who is Horatio Nelson and why is he called a “Jack‑Arsenian” figure?
Welcome back to Finn vs. History. I'm joined by Horatio Gould. And today we're finally getting to Horatio Nelson.
My namesake. The other Horatio. Yeah, one of the three. It's Horatio Kane from CSI Miami. Horatio Nelson and me. I hadn't heard of that first one. It's a big name to live up to, I'll tell you that.
Um Horatio Kane.
No, I I I'm not named after anyone specifically. I think they actually just like the name. But I guess Nelson probably would be more in the the I d I also BB's related to Nelson. Really? So you g you go way, way back and
Well I well well I right go on. I my great great great maybe great great great great great grandfather was the had no arms. Uh he had no arms. And was blind. Anyway. No, he was the surgeon on the HMS victory. Really? About fifteen years after Trafalgar. Oh so yeah. It's really cool and then it's not when it was a tourist boat. Uh when it was a prison, I think. A floating a floating prison in Portsmouth, I think. Uh but there's a portrait of him in my uncle's house, and I this is how w creepy it is. He looks exactly like my uncle. And I thought for the first fifteen years of my life, Oh, that's my uncle dressed up as like a nineteen dandy. And then we were like, Oh no, that's your great great great great grandfather.
And I was like, That's a glitch in the matrix. It looks exactly like my uncle. It looks exactly like my money.
Disciplined breeding, isn't it?
Yeah.
But if you still look like your great great great great grandfather really has not Presbyterian stuff, that is Well that's
Scotland for you.
Like my sister, brilliant, let's get married.
Let's get married. And then we'll have me and you. Uh we're talking about Horatio Nelson. It's part two of our epic No Girls Allowed Ten Parter on the Napoleon Revolution. I tell you what, I
think Nelson I don't know if the ladies of the room would agree, I think Nelson really and this crosses a bit of the boundaries from even male stuff. Really? I would say so. Wouldn't you say it's it's pretty it's just s i uh it's romantic, uh it's I think there's it I don't know, it feels le it doesn't get as bogged down in the sort of like nitty gritty. I think the story is uh can cross gender boundaries.
Nabel amputations.
Yeah, but I don't know.
I
think Nelson as a figure is more attractive for women. People
often comment saying why are you doing this? He's got a fucking column, yeah? And I'm out there every Sunday wearing a Stone Island badge defending it. Yeah. Yeah? Against anyone pr preemptively defending it. I'm there.
Come on then. Come on. Yeah, no one's talking about knocking that down, but I'm defending it. No, I'm defending it. They're not they're
not knocking it down 'cause I'm there. You know
that my favourite video of a true patriot, a real telegraph reader, uh is the um do you know the g that guy in a flat cap who go pushes away Church Churchill as a racist? The carboard side? Yeah, yeah. That guy, do you have that video? Because I just like that is this is one of our patrons for sure. There's just something I've never seen a more right-wing man just like the way that you could just tell he dressed as a farmer. Just as a farmer. Yep.
Barber jacket, Stone Island badge. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off. Fuck off, bollocks. Get rid of it. Horatio Nelson is you know, it's it's weird because I didn't learn about any of this at school. I found all this out myself. I
did my own research for this as well. I've
done my own research here. Right and I think that's a a national travesty that our children are are kept away from the Napoleonic Wars. Is the
most exciting British individual as a s from a storytelling perspective? Until
until David Beckham, yeah. Yeah, who who can match him? I mean Monty, you know in it. No, no, we did Monty, he's the World War Two equivalent, but it's nowhere near as exciting. Horatio Nelson and also so much of our architecture, you know, is based around this period of history and yet it's just like
monumental architecture, I yeah. Yeah.
It's just names, right? And then you find out what he actually did and who he was. And fuck me.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Who is Horatio Nelson and why is he called a “Jack‑Arsenian” figure?
0:09–5:47
2
How did Nelson’s early life and family background shape his naval career?
5:47–13:23
3
Why did Nelson join the Royal Navy at age 12 and what were his first assignments?
13:23–20:10
4
What injuries did Nelson suffer early on (lost eye, scrotal hernia, arm amputation) and how did they affect him?
20:10–26:37
5
How did 18th‑century naval warfare work – ships of the line, broadsides and tactics?
26:37–31:56
6
What happened at the Battle of Cape St. Vincent and why is it considered a turning point for Nelson?
31:56–43:26
7
How was Nelson’s famous arm amputation performed and what were the medical practices of the time?
43:26–46:31
8
What were Nelson’s later achievements (knighthood, rear admiral rank) and how did his story end?
46:31–48:37
Speakers
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