Bert Kreischer (IN STUDIO): Drinking Beers & Hacking Comedy
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What unique diet strategies does Dana share?
I'm trying to live in the 140s, don't be mad. So what I do is... 140s?
I text her 140. My dad would, when I was a kid, anytime he ever saw two dudes together, he'd go, look at this dude, gay guys. And then one day, I go, do you think they're saying that about us? And he goes, oh God, I hope not. You find out that a lot of your friends... They like you where you are. They like you where you are!
Yeah.
Let's not get crazy. This is the third time I've texted you. I swear to God, if you don't reply, I'm going to come to your house, inject AIDS into you, and light your house on fire, and kill your f***ing children. The next test. My bad. That was for my sister.
All right, Dana, we had Bert Kreischer on, I think on again, right? He's been on before.
It was our second time. We did it a couple months ago, and we did it in the studio where you're sitting for a while.
Oh, yeah. Up close and personal. We all took our shirts off as an homage. No, I didn't. I was requested to keep mine on by America.
yeah my shirt off and you looked over and it i don't want to talk out of school but you did faint
Is that why I fainted? Oh, yeah.
You fainted and Heather kind of caught you. But anyway, let's get back to Bert Kreischer, our guest.
Bert Kreischer, Free Bert is the show on Netflix. We talk about everything up and down and also the casting for the show, how he got into it, what the show is about. And it looks like a fun show. I watched some of it yesterday. So I think this is kind of what people want to hear about Bert right now. You had a nice time.
I had a nice time. It's always very interesting how he and Tom Segura are friends and have their podcasts, how just smart they are just about the way to be in show business. And Bert is very humble about it. He's kind of sheepish about his standup, but he's a great standup because he kills consistently for an hour. And he still looks pretty good with his shirt off, I'll say.
Yeah, he's one of those guys that doesn't look super gross with his shirt off. Some people, you see the shirt off and you go, that's not fair. That's not fair to us.
It's still fairly solid, but if you jump up and down on the stage and then there's movement for a long time, that's when you put the shirt on. The thing that surprised me about this podcast was he went pantless as well, which you don't see that, but he's got incredibly strong legs.
Well, see for yourself. Here we go, guys. Burt Kreischer.
Which ones? It's a good start.
How can you drink like Bert without feeling terrible the next day?
You name it. Are we recording? Always recording productions. You're a cocktail of Mr. Chrysler.
Take my BPC-157 before I go to bed.
What's that one?
I'm on Monjaro. I'm on testosterone. I'm on metformin. I'm on everything.
Oh, good. Monjaro.
Monjaro.
Not Zep-bound?
I think that's what it is, right? I don't know. It's like the Tri-Zepatide.
Is it like the commercial?
Oh, do they show you throwing up and shitting blood?
No. We're all supposed to be microdosing it.
I'm microdosing it.
You're microdosing, okay. Majoro. What's it doing for you? It takes your sparkle away. Okay. Well, does it take away your appetite? Is that the notion? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The thing that drives you? Yeah. I think it drives life. So everything that's fun goes away. It's incredible. It's cheap, too. It turns into a dial tone. It's a kind of dystopian... You lose the weight, but you got no joy in life. It's kind of what you call a classic trade-off.
When does the Spongero kick in? I think the second hour of this podcast.
Yeah.
Well, obviously, we're both on it.
Yeah, you guys are... What is it like... You can eat your entire life. You can eat Taco Bell every meal.
I really... I can't anymore, but I will tell you... What do you mean you can't anymore? For what?
Taco Bell.
I do get skinny fat, and that's no good.
What job security tactics did young Bert Kreischer use in comedy clubs?
A lot of whispers. Dennis Miller used to call it... cash register because he goes, Spudly, I'm getting a fucking cash register here. I got NCR-itis.
I got spilkus in my milkus.
So we can't be, but Dana's always been pretty straight.
But it's all calculated. I, for a small frame, 128 in high school. You know, I was 165.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What unique diet strategies does Dana share?
0:00–2:42
2
How can you drink like Bert without feeling terrible the next day?
2:42–4:05
3
What job security tactics did young Bert Kreischer use in comedy clubs?
4:05–7:02
4
What are Bert's essential rules for recording a comedy special?
7:02–8:57
5
How does Bert define 'hacking' comedy?
8:57–11:11
6
What surprising connection does Bert reveal about his dad and Pete Davidson?
11:11–13:06
7
What insights does Bert share about the evolution of comedy in the digital age?
13:06–15:30
8
How does Bert view his role in the comedy industry today?
15:30–1:22:02