Football Ramble

The Preview Show: New traditions

04 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Luke and Vish settle in for traditions old and new on today's Preview Show, sponsored by Betway. From Meat Loaf's beloved Hartlepool off on an F...

Roy The Mermaid

03 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We heard it from Roy himself: he caught Watford's elegant siren song as he sailed past and simply couldn't resist. Never mind about the tradition of s...

CONMELOLS

02 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Don't mourn the lack of Barclays, for the World Cup Qualifiers still provide that sweet stuff. Goals from Edinson Cavani and Luis Suárez? Bolivian pi...

Is that... is that Jermain Defoe?

01 Feb 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A whole host of transfers arrived late in the box last night - turns out Frank Lampard is having an influence already.Marcus, Jim and Pete round up th...

A memory foam bum

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim and Pete look over the latest batch of AFCON drama, as The Mo Salah Experience swept Morocco aside and Burkina Faso continued their impres...

The Preview Show: We’re skint, but not that skint

28 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

A brief Barclays break means we get to tackle all the glorious chaos that the South American qualifiers regularly serve up. By tackle, we mean kick in...

How did your Everton job interview go?

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Despite Carlos Queiroz's miserly ways, Egypt lumber on in an AFCON beset with incidents and hot divorced dads, but not many goals. Kate, Andy and...

To my Sevillas for my hundred dolla billas

26 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish and Andy are answering the big questions on today's Ramble. Will Duván Zapata sign for Newcastle? What next for Anthony Martial? Should ...

By fair means or owl

25 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Watford hit the ejector seat on yet another manager as Claudio Ranieri departs, leaving the club managerless for the 518th time this season. Did someo...

Shelvey Bassey - Big Spender

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle kicked off their lads holiday to the Middle East in the appropriate fashion, with a Jonjo free-kick snatching some perhaps undeserved points...

The Preview Show: Let’s have some results, ya wee dirties

21 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In the end, Liverpool and Diogo Jota leisurely strolled back to Wembley without interruption. At least a jet lagged Thomas Partey tried his best, thou...

Just another regular day of Barclays

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Nothing to see here! Just two injury-time goals from Steven Bergwijn sending both Kate Mason and the King Power into a tailspin.Andy and Jim help Kate...

The Rosetta Stone of Football Podcasting

19 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish and Andy are now looking for a membership to Sexy Graham Potter's colony of high-flying Seagulls. All assistance is welcome.We look over ...

Heading in a tin foil hat

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

For all the yellow ties and #HereWeGo nonsense, the January window does occasionally throw Ramble HQ a few bones. Today, it's potential high-profile r...

Farewell, Paellardyce

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

There are certain things you need in a relegation scrap. Rafa Benitez is seemingly no longer one of them, but a Jack Harrison topknot looks an absolut...

The Preview Show: Having Xhaka will be helpful

14 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Realising his team was under the pump, Granit Xhaka did the only thing he could do: get sent off for a reckless high boot and inspire Arsenal to new h...

It's King Kazu's music

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We've always said that consummate professionals will continue to find work in the game. And so it proves: Chelsea have recalled Kenedy and King Kazu s...

The Andy Carroll Weekly Worldy Bonus

12 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

As Chris Wood hops from one sinking ship to another, Andy Carroll reminded Newcastle just what they've been missing: two absolutely ridiculous goals, ...

STANDARDS

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Much like Pete whenever we enter the studio, Man United fans held up a banner demanding improved standards from their ragtag bunch of jewels and joker...

Are all underdogs confident?

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Jim and Vish are on hand with a thorough breakdown of a cracking weekend of FA Cup action, with some unexpected giant killings alongside the usu...

The Preview Show: Another bald

07 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Pete settle in for a bumper FA Cup Third Round Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!We’ve got you covered with a comprehensive guide t...

We need an exorcist

06 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

In a crushing blow to fans of last year’s Carabao Cup Finalists memorabilia, Chelsea planted one foot firmly in next month’s final courtesy of som...

Oh Dear! What Can The Blatter Be?

05 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

We thought the odd Instagram post apologising for missing a penalty or a sending off was far enough. Now, Romelu Lukaku has broken new bizarre ground ...

Wazza's Discount Derby

04 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Wolves were the latest to capitalise on more Man United malaise last night, with their understated win celebrated by an understated Bruno Lage. Kate, ...

No knighthood, despite my 47 goals in all competitions

03 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Despite another year without due mentions in the New Year Honours list, Marcus, Vish and Andy are here to kick off another year on the Football Ramble...

Can I be honest, Joelinton?

28 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Despite idiotic questions from interviewers afterwards, Joelinton proved himself to be the heir to Roy Keane's throne as he dominated Man United's mid...

But can this slumpy team be trusted?

27 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Vish and Jim are here to chew over the latest round of Christmas crackers, with Southampton and Arsenal picking up impressive wins. But should...

The Best of the Football Ramble 2021

22 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

To round off the year, we're looking back on some of our favourite moments from this year's Football Ramble! We relive the trauma of the European Supe...

The Festive Football Ramble - Part 2

21 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Much like the UK Government, we're back with another work Christmas party! Marcus, Kate, Vish and Jim settle in at Ramble HQ for more festive fun.If y...

The Festive Football Ramble - Part 1

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Welcome to the first part of the Ramble Christmas jolly! Join Jules, Luke, Andy and Pete as they revel in festive cheer and pick their dream festive l...

The Preview Show: Just give it Jonj

17 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Jonjo Shelvey's return to Liverpool reminded the Anfield faithful what they've been missing: 20-yard screamers, misplaced passes and a general lack of...

The Fortress of Rob Holdingtude

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

With a great win over West Ham last night, can we finally say it? The Emirates is... a fortress?Marcus, Jim and Pete wrestle with that and check in th...

The Apprentice has thwacked the Master

15 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As Arsenal's leadership group pass the captaincy parcel around at London Colney, we wonder who can take the bantle on now Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang's ...

Any excuse for a buffet

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Vish and Jim settle in for another Ramble after yesterday's botched Champions League draw highlighted what piss-poor pageantry we've come to acc...

God Rest Ye Merry Pentlemen

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Throughout the festive period, it's important to carve out a bit of indulgent time for yourself. This weekend, pour yourself a fizzy lager and enjoy y...

The Preview Show: Live laugh love, okee

10 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Foxes might not have been able to squeeze through the Europa League group stages last night, but at least a dog on Partizan’s pitch during their...

Hands on the hologram

09 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It was a landmark moment at Old Trafford last night, as Ralf Rangnick brought Tom Heaton on for his Man United debut 20 years after he first joined. T...

Killing the golden cash cow

08 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Some say the Champions League group stages are boring. We say look at Porto vs Atlético’s three red cards in ten minutes and try telling us that is...

No Iwobi, No Partey

07 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal went into Banter Club retrograde last night with a dismal display that helped Everton to a vital three points. Even some picky VAR offsides fo...

There's the banter

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Vish are joined by the returning Luke Moore for another post-Barclays bash, as West Ham's latest vintage win left David Moyes a bit *too* h...

The Preview Show: Right, said Fred

03 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Man United welcome in the Ralf Rangnick era with a chaotic win over Arsenal, with Fred epitomising the good, the bad and the batshit that Ralf must co...

I’m as famous as Troy Deeney

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh from catching some courtside NBA action with fellow celeb Troy Deeney, Andy joins Kate and Vish in the studio to look for Saúl Ñíguez. Even T...

The Entertainers are back

01 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It seems the Keggy hoodoo is still lurking around every corner at St James' Park, as Eddie Howe is still looking to capture that entertaining allure. ...

Stretching the Geordie blanket

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

More bizarre football awards ceremonies last night, as Lionel Messi won the Ballon d'Or while Robert Lewandowski had to settle for the Whole Load of G...

Dyche Age

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Even the blizzards summoned by Łukasz Fabiański this weekend weren't enough to stop either a purring Manchester City from winning or Sean Dyche from...

The Preview Show: I prefer to kill them all

26 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Like a rock hard Mitre to the face on a freezing Sunday morning, it’s safe to say Antonio Conte was struck by the size of the task he has at Tottenh...

Do it for The Shamen

25 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Mauricio Pochettino slunk back to Paris with his tail between his legs last night after another fairytale clash with Man City, where Bernardo Silva se...

Jadon and Donny, together at last

24 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

They've crawled through a river of shite, but Jadon Sancho and Donny van de Beek have finally reached Redemption. Michael Carrick, take an interim bow...

Maybe the trophies are the friends we made along the way

23 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Club legends are ten a penny, nowadays. Whether it's Steve Bruce eyeing up the Manchester United job or Tony Hibbert joining a new club five years sin...

Now That's What I Call Manchester United!

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Well, the inevitable axe has finally fallen: Ole Gunnar Solskjær has been sacked by Manchester United.Jules, Jim and Pete pore over the dismal perfor...

The Preview Show: I'm sorry, Graeme

19 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Rejoice, for the stars have aligned and brought us three managerial debuts for this weekend's edition of the Barclays! Dean Smith even cut short his e...

Does Fabian Delph spark joy?

18 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Jim and Pete are here with the answers to some of the game's biggest questions: is Zinedine Zidane warming to the prospect of Man United? Are Ne...

Roberto Martínez: Stylish Mover

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Roberto Martínez nearly pulled out some of those saucy moves in that electric Cardiff atmosphere last night, with Beefy Moore's equaliser enough to g...

44 buttocks chase a ball around and eventually Che Adams scores

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

England's marching band stuck ten past San Marino in the final round of Now That's What I Call Competitive, meaning they can turn their attention to t...

The Serbian Darren Anderton

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fresh off his latest round of Ibra Watch, Lars Sivertsen joins Jules and Andy at Ramble HQ for a blast through a hefty weekend of international footba...

Patreon special: The Teams of Our Lives, Leicester 2015/16

14 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're here with a special bonus episode, plucked from the Ramble Patreon feed! Today, we’re bringing you an episode of The Teams of Our Lives, a wee...

The Preview Show: Didn't even want a Belgium cap

12 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

In the era of hyper professionalism, it's refreshing to see Radja Nainggolan determined to never play for Belgium again because he'd rather have a smo...

Captain Cash's Catalonian Kickabouts

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Imagine it: you're Matty Cash. You've just turned up to national team training for the first time - having learned the anthem on YouTube - to find Pep...

Signing Jonjo's #cans

10 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Papa John's Trophy served up some more lukewarm slices last night, with AFC Wimbledon eliminated and Newcastle United U21's battered at Mansfield....

Do you referee tiddlywinks?

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Luke and Jim get stuck into the big questions right at the heart of the football discourse on today's show: did Arsène Wenger leave Arsenal too...

The Preview Show: Howedi Arabia

05 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Antonio Conte's back! Eddie Howe's (almost) back! And Marcus is back! Get ready for a Friday feast.Vish and Jim join Marcus to hail the return of John...

Two balls off the post

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool cantered to another victory over a pretty cantankerous Atlético Madrid last night thanks to some icy refereeing. That doesn’t sound like ...

All or Nothing or Something or Everything

03 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Watching Man United's trademark comebacks is like flying on a budget airline to a stag do - more disorganised chaos that always seems to get there eve...

Living it Lage

02 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Jim and Vish track Wolves' migration up the table after another tidy win, this time against a struggling Everton. We wonder why the bottom half ...

The curse is lifted

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The inevitable axe has finally fallen, with Saturday's turgid performance enough to get Nuno Espírito Santo the sack - whether we can blame him for i...

The Preview Show: Big Gaffer Energy

29 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As the Man United saga rolls on, Sir Alex Ferguson's back at Carrington. It's just to get a suit fitted, apparently - we assume Ole is holding the tap...

More Moyesy Manchester Murders

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

First United, now City - David Moyes is coming for you, Manchester. That bridge he burned when he took over from Sir Alex Ferguson is still smoulderin...

Freight and see

27 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Vish and Pete dive into another round of the Fizzy Cup as Arsenal continued their lovely autumn stroll and wildman Kepa Arrizabalaga psyched out...

Burn a bridge to light my way

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Antonio Conte seems open to scorching the earth on which decades of Manchester United's success has been built, after saying he'd "be open to understa...

When Harry met Salah

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Luke and Andy are here, counter-pressing the notion that Manchester United are any good after a horrendous showing against the Mo Salah Experien...

The Preview Show: A Glimt in his eye

22 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Vish and Luke react to last night's changing of the European guard, with West Ham strutting their stuff and José Mourinho's Roma the victims in...

Keeping Up With The Icardis

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Ole Gunnar Solskjær's tribute act got away with another sloppy performance last night, though Ronnie's last-gasp winner couldn't cheer up Paul Schole...

Combining the red card with the handshake

20 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool scraped past Atlético Madrid in a thoroughly entertaining dingdong last night, even though a red card sent Simeone's men into near-uncharte...

No World Cup, no cry

19 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Patrick Vieira went to Arsenal’s backyard and almost came away with all three points, while Ben White watched on and wondered what all the fuss was ...

No Tyne like the present

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Newcastle's bunch of ragtag mercenaries probably saw yesterday's tussle with Tottenham as a chance to show the new owners what they're all about. So: ...

The Preview Show: And I need you today, Oh Brucey

15 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

As the Saudi shadow looms large over Brucey's thousandth game in charge, we wonder which one of the eight million reasons he'll trot out in the pre-ga...

Even Barça can't mess this up

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Jules, Andy and Vish stop buying MesutCoin long enough to take stock of the latest news, with Chelsea impressing over in Turin and Phil Foden securing...

You still turn me on

13 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

England's swashbucklers cut through precisely sod all last night in an underwhelming draw with Hungary. Maybe we need... *more* attackers?Kate, Andy a...

Clubs over country

12 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Gareth Bale’s been watching some golf again, THE LITTLE SLACKER. Turns out his countrymen got the job done without him, as Wales escaped Estonia wit...

Fizzer's full barrel

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

International football served up its usual range of delights this weekend, as France won the Nations League - via the sublime and the ridiculous - whi...

The Preview Show: There goes Big Mike, must remember to thank him

08 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There were delirious scenes on Tyneside following the official announcement that the PIF takeover of Newcastle United was complete - but we must ackno...

Call Kylian, show him our bridges

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Well, it's been close to happening for over a year and it's safe to say many people are disgusted about it: Italy's unbeaten streak is over!With the N...

The Magic of the (stuffed) Cup

06 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We're swimming in garlic dip on today's episode, as Papa John served up a great win for Hartlepool and Barrow's keeper ended up in centre-midfield. Tr...

The Sausageman returns

05 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Like a cosy, familiar jumper you break out at the start of autumn, Claudio Ranieri is back in the Premier League! Let's see if he can last longer than...

Xisco dumped like a truck, truck

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sound the alarm, it's the first managerial sacking of the season - poor old Xisco Munoz. After being so accomodating to a dysfunctioning Leeds, too.Ma...

The Preview Show: All I want for Christmas is Jude

01 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Christmas has come early for a certain Marcus Speller, with the latest England squad announcement full of festive cheer- BUT WHY AREN'T JUDE BELLINGHA...

Ripping your shirt off in a group game

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Just another night for Prime Time and his band of Manny men, as Ronaldo shoved a last-minute spanner in the Solskjaer Out operation.Kate, Andy and Vis...

All of a sudden I see Sheriff

29 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The combined squads on show at the Parc des Princes: €2bn. Real Madrid losing at home to a team from an unrecognised breakaway state in their maiden...

The Red Wine Club

28 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Andy and Vish discuss a spicy Monday night in the Prem, as the Seagulls spotted Patrick Vieira’s shiny head, swooped down and nicked his pre...

I'm not scared of Graeme Souness

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim round up a scorching weekend of Premier League madness, with Arsenal pouring some long lost sauce over an utterly overcooked Spur...

The Preview Show: From North London to Norway

24 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Luke are joined by fellow Ramble clansman Lars Sivertsen on today's episode of the Preview Show, sponsored by Betway!There are plenty of cr...

More Timo Werner conspiracy theories

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The magic of the Carabao lives on, as David Moyes got one over his old employers and AFC Wimbledon accepted an invite to the big dance at the Emirates...

Wycombe Wycombe - Junglist massive

22 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The away end at the Etihad was absolutely pumping for 22 minutes last night and Gareth Ainsworth was delighted - let's just forget the subsequent shel...

The rave's still on

21 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Kate, Vish and Jim take a break from two-stepping around Newcastle's festival scene with Jordan Pickford to assess how Everton have started and what t...

Martin Keown's cave of whispering desires

20 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Premier League strikers beware - Martin Keown knows how to handle you. Especially you, Romelu. Marcus, Andy and Pete cast their hive mind over th...

The Preview Show: Kinder egg of a goal

17 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim and Vish tell you all about the key happenings last night and much more on The Preview Show, sponsored by Betway! West Ham returned t...

Cross-field salad cream

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How is it possible to feel like you’re missing out when you’re watching a 3-2? Marcus, Andy and Vish fan the flames of a barn-burning night o...

Smouldering Champions League embers

15 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The Champos is back with a clang, as Jesse Lingard gifted those Young Boys a victory minutes from time. It was actually reminiscent of a game from las...

Hedge fund goalie

14 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Arise, Sir Andros of Walton. Kate, Luke and Pete look back on Everton’s storming six minutes last night, as Andros Townsend smashed in a beauty and ...

A friend of mine watched a stream

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It was great to see a Man United legend return to Old Trafford on Saturday to such fanfare, freshly bronzed from the Portuguese sunshine. Ronaldo was ...