Football Ramble

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Ian Holloway's clubs, Prem referees, and League Cup losers

06 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The Ehantharajah Empire reigns supreme over the Ramble galaxy, having crushed the Luke Nation and Marcus Mount since it's return to the world stage. B...

The Preview Show: He’d look a right Charlie

06 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The weekend is here ladies and gents, and Big Dada Premier League has been kind with his offering to us this week. Man United vs Spurs, Liverpool vs M...

Exceedingly Good Carabao

05 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Manchester City eased past Newcastle to set up a Carabao Cup final with Arsenal. The master meets the apprentice.Today, Marcus and Luke consider how t...

Will you join us in the rumpus room?

04 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal are through the Carabao Cup final! Were Chelsea’s tactics understandable or unforgivable? Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim gather in the Football...

Mailbag: Who’s getting relegated from the Premier League this season?

03 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The bottom of the Premier League is looking more wide open than we’ve seen it in years! West Ham, Nottingham Forest, Leeds, Palace, and Spurs are al...

North London Together

02 Feb 2026

Contributed by Lukas

There was an amazing display of unity in North London as Tottenham banded together to help Arsenal win the Premier League this weekend. Haha, no but s...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Champions League advancers, Thomas Frank favourites, and the most offsides

30 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The Ehantharajah Empire has bludgeoned its way through the Luke Nation, leaving every member of the public in its wake. Only Luke and the Kingdom of S...

The Preview Show: When a Crunchie comes your way

30 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It was a big night for young Jamaldeen Jimoh-Aloba in the Europa League last night. European debut and a goal to match? Lovely stuff. Unai Emery has s...

Today I feel Swiss

29 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

What a night for the Swiss model! Just as Anatoliy Trubin was firing in that header we couldn’t help but think: are you not entertained, Vish?Today,...

Narrative everywhere

28 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Antonio Conte “welcomes” his former club Chelsea, Pep Guardiola “welcomes” some former players to Manchester, our Spurs play against the Germa...

Mailbag: How should we judge Arne Slot’s second season?

27 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim try to have a reasoned discussion about Arne Slot’s reputation after a middling second season and the looming figure of Xabi Al...

Where’s that steam going?

26 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Weeks ago, Luke suggested that Arsenal are running out of steam. He was ridiculed, shamed, the pitchforks came out. But what if he was right all along...

My Biddy Aunt: Managers

23 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Just as it looked like all hope was lost, the Ehantharajah Empire is here to rescue us! That's right, Vish is back and ready to rip the belt from the ...

The Preview Show: Disgracing Her Majesty’s Terminal

23 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Things are finally starting to look good for Manchester United ahead of their big game against Arsenal this weekend. A convincing win against their ci...

Chippy Slot

22 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Vish is on the pod, Vish is on the pod! Manchester United win the derby and suddenly Vish swans back in like he’s never been away. Today, he’...

The Chelsea scrapheap

21 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Was Marcus Speller right all along? Is the Manchester City empire really crumbling? Jim and David join Marcus to review a torrid night in Europe for P...

Mailbag: Twit tw-who should Crystal Palace appoint next?

20 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Oliver Glasner has set fire to his own ship at Crystal Palace, so imagine this - which old reliable strigiform is ready to swoop from the skies and ex...

The Manchester United way

19 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Ole Gunnar Solskjær’s suckle on the teat was too hard, Ruben Amorim’s too soft, but Michael Carrick’s is just right. That, ladies and gentlemen...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Manchester derby XI's, Championship managers, and Premier League loyalists

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

After weeks of negotiation, the Luke Nation has agreed to step away from Jack’s Encyclopaedia (for now)...But he is in attendance as the greatest ga...

The Preview Show: A bottle of aftershock

16 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

It's the Manchester derby this weekend, so how are both sides preparing? Man United have brought back Michael Carrick for another suckle on Sir Alex's...

Ramble Reacts: Carabao chaos at Stamford Bridge

14 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Arsenal have the advantage after the League Cup semi-final first leg. Marcus and David were treated to five goals in a slightly confusing night at Sta...

I only cheat myself

14 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Antoine Semenyo is not only scoring goals but he’s currently top of the English football vibes table. However, Marcus, Luke and Pete are, controvers...

Mailbag: What makes a big club?

13 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim round off a barnstorming FA Cup weekend by reminding everyone what the magic of the cup is really about: not getting slapped 10-1...

Dawson's Peak

12 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

What a weekend! Macclesfield climbed to the peak of Mount Everest to pull off the greatest FA Cup upset of all time. Today, Marcus, Luke and Jim are h...

My Biddy Aunt: FA Cup Icons

09 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Luke makes his return to the My Biddy Aunt arena for the first time in 2026, but can the Marcus Mount cause a new year upset? On FA Cup weekend, anyth...

The Preview Show: No Sleep Till Lisbon

09 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The FA Cup third round is typically Luke Moore’s favourite weekend of the year. It’s just a shame for him that Portsmouth have to play Arsenal, re...

Introducing: The Thing About Arsenal

09 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Calling all Gooners! 'The Thing About Arsenal' is the brand new Arsenal podcast that does things differently, featuring our very own Jim Campbell!Thin...

28 Petes Later

08 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Donny is in charge on today’s Ramble and he’s plotting some new surgery to extend his collarbones. He might also add in a few extra ribs while he'...

Please Sir Alex, can I have some milk?

07 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Darren Fletcher, the new Manchester United interim manager, is the latest former player to suckle on the teat of Sir Alex Ferguson. There's nothing li...

Mailbag: Has Ruben Amorim ruined his reputation?

06 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

The Ruben Amorim era is officially over at Manchester United – what's next? Marcus, Luke and Jim shake their heads at the league's most chaotic club...

Out in 2026: The curse of the Ramble

05 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

We know what you’re thinking, 'the curse of the Ramble and all that', but it’s a new year and that means fresh beginnings. Ladies and gentlemen, R...

My Biddy Aunt: January Transfers

02 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Everyone bangs about new beginnings when the new year rolls around *cough*Jake Humphrey*cough*, but at Ramble HQ, we actually mean it. David Cartlidge...

The Preview Show: Can I get sacked in the morning?

02 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Enzo Maresca is set to embark on a new career as a novelist. Will his first book be a tragedy by any chance?Today, Pete, who is still covered in Chris...

Best of Ramble Uncut 2025

01 Jan 2026

Contributed by Lukas

Happy new year Ramblers! Whether you're nursing a hangover like Pete or nursing a sugar crash like Marcus, we've got the tonic for you today with some...

Arsenal get their steam back

31 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In case you weren't aware, Arsenal won quite convincingly against Aston Villa on Tuesday night. On Monday, Luke suggested they were running out of ste...

Mailbag: How much trouble are West Ham really in?

30 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Look away now, West Ham fans - we’ve got to have a chat about how poor they’ve been this season, with the real threat of relegation looming over t...

Live from the Christmas Perineum

29 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Pete slide gently into the Christmas perineum, with a barn-burning round of Barclays representing the nuts and Speller’s game of En...

Best of the Football Ramble 2025: Part 2

27 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're back with another sack full of clips highlighting the very best moments from the second half of 2025. We've got everything from the Lambton Worm...

Best of the Football Ramble 2025: Part 1

26 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Fear not, the Ramble is here to fill the Premier League-shaped hole in your Boxing Day!Across two parts, Marcus shares our very favourite moments of t...

My Biddy Aunt: Christmas Special!

25 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Merry Christmas Ramblers! As you enjoy a glass of eggnog on this fine day, remember, it's your Christmas too. So move away from the turkey, step back ...

The Preview Show: Absolute Lims

24 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Luke and Jim bring you good Ramblings on Christmas Eve! They discuss Arsenal's confidence and bank account-boosting win against Crystal Palace...

Mailbag: Are Wolves the worst team in Premier League history?

23 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's probably fair to say at this point that Wolverhampton Wanderers are as dead as a dodo. Two points from 17 games and staring relegation right down...

Play that ukulele

22 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Big Mama Premier League gifted us a barn-burning weekend right on the eve of Christmas. Gosh, we must have been good this year.Today, Marcus, David an...

My Biddy Aunt: Footballers turned broadcasters

19 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Thanks to the assistance of multiple NGOs, Luke has agreed to temporarily withdraw his troops from the My Biddy Aunt battleground. That allows the Kin...

The Preview Show: Can you sniff it?

19 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

How can Everton use glue to beat Arsenal? What did Wayne Rooney send Duncan Ferguson in prison? Have FIFA really started deciding the result of games ...

Control your own X (formerly known as Twitter)

18 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Pete had to be kept apart after Newcastle and Fulham did battle last night. Today, they were joined by Jim to unpack another night of sweet...

Pete’s cheesy knees

17 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We’re into the business end of the Carabao! Although there wasn’t an upset last night, Marcus, Pete and Luke give Cardiff their dues for a spirite...

Mailbag: What is going on with ticket prices for the World Cup?

16 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's going to cost a lot of money to go to this summer's World Cup. So what will happen to the atmosphere at games? And just how many people on X are ...

Mackem Mayhem

15 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What’s more bleak? Newcastle’s derby day performance or the thought of Pete Donaldson spending his Sunday afternoon in an indie club?Today, Pete l...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Mo Salah's favourite teammates, a Newcastle vs Sunderland throwback, and Andy Brassell's Instagram

12 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After weeks of feverish anticipation, Jack's Encyclopaedia returns! And there are a couple of absolute s**t-offs in this one...Pete of Donaco adjudica...

The Preview Show: Beauty and the Pete

12 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete’s got a new haircare routine! It’s got him in the mood to gorge on some festive Europa League action. Today, he's joined by Marcus and Luke f...

Souness gets the hump

11 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

A big night in the Champions League, but an even bigger night for the Official Martin Keown Fan Club here at the Football Ramble. Seriously though, it...

So, it’s all Marc Cucurella’s fault?

10 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Mo Salah drama rumbles on after Liverpool win in Milan with the Egyptian King™ stuck in the gym at home. But why is Marc Cucurella really t...

Mailbag: Should clubs refund fans after thrashings?

09 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We all know that feeling. Standing there in the pouring rain, watching your team get absolutely battered and thinking to yourself, "what a massive was...

Brookside: The Reunion

08 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On the latest edition of the Liverpool soap opera: Leeds grab a late equaliser and Mo Salah gives an explosive interview.Today, Marcus, Jim ...

2026 World Cup Draw Reaction!

05 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus and Jim watched the full World Cup draw so that you didn't have to... and reacted to it all live on YouTube! Join us for our takes on England's...

My Biddy Aunt: Legendary left-backs

05 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The World Cup draw is just a few hours away, but we couldn't leave you without a bit of Biddy Biddy to settle the nerves ahead of a night of chaos.In ...

The Preview Show: How Sir Jim Saved Christmas

05 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Stay away Krampus, Sir Jim Ratcliffe is allowing Man United to have a Christmas party! Until they lose 1-0 away to Wolves on Monday night anyway…Tod...

Beware of the Boglin

04 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Delightful Daniel Farke steered Leeds to a big win last night.Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete wonder if he can be the man to keep them in the Premier Leag...

Pep’s Entertainers

03 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Who would have predicted that late-stage Guardiola would have traces of Kevin Keegan? Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete are on hand to enjoy the nine-goal t...

Mailbag: Are Liverpool about to move on from Mo Salah?

02 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool got three valuable points at West Ham without Mo Salah in the XI. Arne Slot made the big call, but what does it say about Salah's future in ...

We’ve got our Barclays back

01 Dec 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Stamford Bridge has been reduced to ashes after Chelsea and Arsenal played out a good old-fashioned barn burner in the Premier League.Marcus, Luke and...

My Biddy Aunt: Premier League Hard Men

28 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

For all the tax-avoiding, non-dom citizens of Donaco out there – this one's for you.Marcus officiates completely even-handedly as Luke faces the mos...

The Preview Show: Nottingham Forest’s fortifications

28 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Show some f***ing respect. Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete explain why they expected more from Swiss football fans after the lovely Donyell Malen was tar...

Jürgen? Fancy it?

27 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Marcus, Jim and Pete dust themselves down after a proper European goal fest, as Liverpool continue to suffer their worst run of form since the mid-195...

STEVE-O, STEVE-O, STEVE-O

26 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Estêvão - or "Steve" as Marcus likes to call him - put in a coming-of-age performance against Barcelona.Today, Spellz is joined by Jim and David to ...

Donaldson & Fang

25 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

At home against 10 men after two of the opposition players had a dust-up, you probably should be winning that one.Manchester United are back in their ...

Geller’s New Spoon

24 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It was a bad weekend for Liverpool and Tottenham in the Premier League. Is it time that they call Uri Geller? He'll surely sort it out.Today, Marcus, ...

My Biddy Aunt: North London Derby Legends

21 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a barn burning round of Jack's Encyclopaedia last week, it's My Biddy Aunt's turn to step up and provide the goods.Marcus has a chance to unify ...

The Preview Show: Spelgium

21 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Where's all the international football gone? Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete are forced to preview the North London derby. How dare UEFA do this to us!El...

Ramble Uncut: Who stole Napoleon's todger?

20 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

On this edition of Ramble Uncut, Marcus, Jim and Pete reminisce about their favourite detective dramas, their least favourite football movies and wond...

The Scotland way

19 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Three world-class goals and a heroic victory to reach the World Cup. It’s classic Scotland, right? Maybe not, but today Marcus, Jim and Pete are her...

Mailbag: What is England's best XI?

18 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

In just seven months time we'll all be sat down, pint in hand, flare up bum, watching England kick their first ball at the 2026 World Cup. But which o...

You miss the Premier League, do you?

17 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Stop moaning about the international break. We never want to hear it again.Marcus, Luke and Jim are here to unpick a barn-burning weekend which saw la...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: The Ashes Decider

14 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Well, here we are ladies and gents. After Vish ripped the Jack's Encyclopaedia belt from big Lukey Moore's waist last week, can Marcus and Jim save th...

The Preview Show: He’s our bad guy now

14 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Thomas Tuchel inspired England to sing both on and off the pitch last night. Today, Marcus, Vish, Jim and Pete share their thoughts on England’s 2-0...

We’ve got our islands back

13 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

England host Serbia tonight to kick off the international break. And it's a GUARANTEED barn-burner, isn't it?With a royal vacancy now open, Luke and V...

I’m just a Saudi guy

12 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's time for another international break... Thank God, we were almost starting to enjoy the Premier League.Don't worry ...

Mailbag: Has Pep Guardiola been good for English football?

11 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After his 1000th game in club management (still 86 behind Brucey, mind), Pep Guardiola has achieved pretty much everything it's possible to achieve in...

Fizzer me Timbers

10 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What a weekend! Marcus, Jim and Luke are here to dissect the weekend's key learnings: don’t underestimate Man City and Jérémy Doku has gold pants....

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Champions League debutants, the worst Premier League teams & headers

07 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Luke's reign of terror has fed the appetite of the Luke Nation's supporters for far too long. Can Marcus and Vish finally rip the belt from his midrif...

The Preview Show: It’s happening again

07 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Four games in and Sean Dyche's Nottingham Forest are already struggling to score goals. We've been here before...Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Vish get...

Speller's stinky bangers

06 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Tragically, this week's Champions League action has eclipsed the dangers of unpasteurised milk. Marcus, Luke and Pete are here to set that right.Elsew...

Can I play for you every week?

05 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Liverpool had the last laugh after the “rat” returned to Anfield last night. Marcus, Jim and Vish wonder why some Liverpool players save their bes...

Mailbag: Are Arsenal officially the title favourites?

04 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

It's only November and Arsenal are already six points clear of the trailing pack. Is it too early to say they're on the verge?Marcus, Luke & Pete ...

Leaving on Sunday Morning

03 Nov 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Quick question, did anyone see Vítor Pereira in M&M World this weekend? Marcus, Luke and Pete are wondering how he spent his time between Saturda...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Martin O'Neill's clubs, Brendan Rodgers & Italian goalscorers

31 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We're back with another game of Jack's Encyclopaedia! Luke is putting the belt on the line once again, but can Marcus or Vish end his reign of terror?...

The Preview Show: Daniel Farke delight

31 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What happens if Man United actually win five games in a row? All we know is that bloke will get a haircut and we would never again let Vish ...

Raw Carabao

30 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Enzo Maresca said Chelsea need to “grow up” after they got another red card last night. I am afraid to say we don't agree Enzo...Today, Pete, Luke...

The doctor will see you now

29 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

What's good for Marcus Speller isn't necessarily what's good for the Ramble after Fulham spoiled everyone's fun by beating Wycombe on penalties last n...

Mailbag: Are Man United on the verge?

28 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

That's the question on everyone's lips right now. After three wins on the bounce in the Premier League, is Sir Jim Ratcliffe already drawing up plans ...

Greyfriars Brobbey

27 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Hubble bubble, Donny’s causing trouble. Pete appears to have placed a curse on Virgil van Dijk. Today, he warns Jim that David Raya could be next.Ma...

My Biddy Aunt: Goal of the season winners

24 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

We've got a heavyweight battle for you today in the MBA Arena as the absolute monarchy of the Luke Nation faces off against Clan Campbell.The belt (or...

The Preview Show: All you need is smut

24 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Does Sean Dyche like an emoji? Is it acceptable to lose to a side from Cyprus? Can you blame the wind for Emi Buendia's penalty? Are Hearts on the ver...

The Mainhatten Project

23 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Pete takes a break from doing his taxes to sit in Marcus’ chair today. He, Luke and Jim were spoilt rotten by the Champions League last night. Let’...

Rodri Trotter

22 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Did denying Atletico access to hot water help Arsenal win at the Emirates last night? While Marcus, Jim and Vish ponder that, they are certain that Ar...

Mailbag: Was Ange Postecoglou the worst Premier League appointment of all time?

21 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Well, that didn't last long did it? Evangelos Marinakis took just 39 days to throw his new toy out of the bath as it looks like Ange Postecoglou has m...

Virgil van Vindicated

20 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

Feed the Isak and he will score. It’s just a shame his favourite food supplier is still in Newcastle. Today, Marcus, Luke and Pete wonder whether Li...

Jack's Encyclopaedia: Super subs, Brazilians, and Alan Pardew loyalists

17 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

After a controversial last outing in the Jack's Encyclopaedia arena, Luke fronts up to the public outrage over his 'Bueno' answer and takes on Marcus ...

The Preview Show: Soccer boot cleats shoe influencer

17 Oct 2025

Contributed by Lukas

The Premier League is back! Marcus, Luke and Pete are here to give it the respectful welcome the league deserves.They try to figure out if Jack Wilshe...