Football Ramble
Episodes
Ramble Uncut: Mickey, please go away
16 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The sad tale of Roy Hodgson’s England departure balanced by the joyous normality of Wayne Rooney dressing up as Freddie Mercury for his 40th. An epi...
Get that meat inside you
15 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Eeeeeaaaasssayyyy! Tommy Tuchs and his merry men have qualified for the World Cup – and they're the first country in Europe to do it. Have some of t...
Mailbag: Can Bellingham, Palmer & Foden play together?
14 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
England had a lovely old time against Wales on Thursday. And they weren't half bad against Serbia in the game before that either! The catch? Jude Bell...
A special way of Rambling
13 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Before England head on their big stag do in Riga, there was the small matter of Scotland grinding out a glorious win over Belarus. So glorious that it...
My Biddy Aunt: Midfield Classics
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
WE HAVE A NEW CHALLENGER! Pete Donaldson, you have been called to the quizzing colosseum. Your opponent today, The unDemocratic Republic of the Luke N...
The Preview Show: Kylian MUMbappé
10 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Thomas Tuchel wasn’t happy with the atmosphere at Wembley. What’s the England band ever done to you, Thomas? Paper aeroplanes aside, Pete, Luke an...
An asexual camp
09 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's an all-British affair tonight as England take on Craig Bellamy's Wales at Wembley Stadium. Where's Marcus Speller when you need him?Luke and Jim ...
Mouseball
08 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
UEFA have given permission for games in La Liga and Serie A to be played abroad, BUT don’t worry, this does not set a precedent.Today, Luke, Vish an...
Mailbag: Are the Premier League's 'best of the rest' better than ever?
07 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Lars is on the pod! Our Norweigan uncle Lars Sivertsen has Crossed The Continent™ and is back on the Ramble as he joins Marcus and Jim to answer all...
More Chelsea Dagger
06 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It was a great weekend for Chelsea. They beat Liverpool and didn’t even have a single player sent off! Although Marcus and Jim aren't happy that Enz...
My Biddy Aunt: Last-minute legends
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We're back with another round of My Biddy Aunt! This week Jim takes on the nemesis of football quizzing Vithushan Ehantharajah in search of a first wi...
The Preview Show: Flintstones cops
03 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Nottingham Forest fans and Ange Postecoglou are just some of the people we currently feel sorry for. Unfortunately, for Evangelos Marinakis he's not o...
Penthony Gordon
02 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Marcus, Luke and Jim are back to gorge on more Champions League delights! And the entire history of Eric Dier's penalty record is the perfect place to...
The Altruistic One
01 Oct 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Liverpool have lost two games in a row. Today, Vish isn't calling it a crisis but he does tell Marcus and Jim that he knows of a Premier League manage...
Mailbag: Should Manchester United sack Ruben Amorim?
30 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Things are going from really, really bad at Manchester United to somehow dramatically worse. So, is it time for old Jim Ratcliffe to bin off the secon...
Is that the Saturday sacking music?
29 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Plucky Crystal Palace are the only side still unbeaten in the Premier League. Today, Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete give them their long overdue flowers.A...
Jack’s Encyclopaedia: Ballon d'Or winners, Spaniards, and Europa League managers
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a game of Jack's Encyclopaedia for the history books: if Luke wins out against Marcus today, then he'll become the first ever unified belt holder...
The Preview Show: Tutankhamun’s soul patch
26 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The first week of the Europa League is done and dusted. Highlights included Aston Villa finally getting a win and the Nice eagle getting blasted in th...
Inside Luke's Pantry
25 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There's nothing quite like a can of Carabao to help us digest a night of football which saw four Premier League behemoths gobble up their lower-league...
Carabao Cup: The Musical
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Despite scoring, last night should probably be considered a bad night for Hugo Ekitike. Do you think the fact that Pete has written a new chant for hi...
What is the Football Ramble?
24 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Looking for a new football podcast for the 2025/26 season? Well, you’re in luck!The Football Ramble: the original and best football podcast. Strong ...
Mailbag: What’s going wrong at Aston Villa?
23 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Unai Emery's got himself in a right old pickle at Villa Park. Five games into the season and they've not got a single win on the board!Marcus, Jim &am...
I'll monetise some grot for ya
22 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Marcus, Vish and Jim are back to discuss a thigh-rubbing weekend of Premier League football which included an Old Trafford edition of Takeshi's Castle...
My Biddy Aunt: Champions League Icons
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The My Biddy Aunt lineal belt is back on the line, as Vish takes on Luke in an episode all about some of the greats from Champions League past and pre...
The Preview Show: We've got our headlocks back
19 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
How many times can England be crowbarred into one Premier League preview? Get your calculators out everyone, because Marcus is going for the world rec...
Nicolas Jackson’s Bayern Munich
18 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Virgil van Dijk scored a late winner at Anfield last night. As Luke and Jim are very quick to point out today, that's one in the eye for Pete Donaldso...
The no rat guarantee
17 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Most of us get goal alerts when the football is on, but not Pete Donaldson. Today, he reveals to Marcus and Vish the very surprising notifications he ...
Mailbag: Will Spurs survive the Champions League?
16 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
After a tale of two competitions, lots of injuries and a very prickly Australian last season, Spurs are charging into the Champions League with a very...
Haaland the King of Mythical Beasts
15 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Would Man United be better with Donny as CEO? It's got to the stage where Marcus, Luke, Jim and Pete actually seriously consider that on today’s Ram...
My Biddy Aunt: Wonderkids
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The MBA is back! Today's game covers the great young talents in years gone by, some of which have – well – not quite lived up to their billing and...
The Preview Show: The Grin Reaper
12 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Blooming heck the Premier League is back! Today, Marcus and Luke kick off our weekend preview by encouraging Pete to apply for the job of Manchester U...
Ramble Uncut: An Ode to Carlos Queiroz
11 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ever wondered which Manchester United assistant manager suckled on the teat of Sir Alex Ferguson the most? No? Well, strap yourselves in...Today, we'r...
Our giddy uncle
10 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Thomas Tuchel era has finally begun. While Marcus and Luke would like to remain calm, Jim is already crowning England as World Cup winners 2026. E...
Mailbag: Who is Harry Kane's successor?
09 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Andorra game wasn't exactly Harry Kane's finest game in England colours – and by the time the World Cup is over next summer, he'll be touching 3...
Can we sanction this buffoonery?
08 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
You could call England's 2-0 win at home to Andorra "professional", but whether you think that's a compliment depends on whether you talk to Marcus or...
Jack's Encyclopaedia: Levy's signings, Brazilians, and Premier League oldies
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Jack's Encyclopaedia is back everybody! Reigning champion Vish returns to the ring to take on Marcus and Jim in the game Jack Grealish ...
The Preview Show: It’s our Friday too
05 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today’s not just any Friday, it’s the Friday before an England game! So how dare Daniel Levy make it all about him!Once we get the small matter of...
Mailbag: Are England going backwards under Thomas Tuchel?
04 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Tommy Tuchs and his merry men are back in action against the mighty Andorra on Saturday. Isn't it bloomin' marvellous to have international football b...
Nationalise it
03 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ruben Loftus-Cheek is back in the England squad and today is Sir Gareth Southgate’s birthday! Has anyone seen Marcus’ aunt?Unfortunately, Luke and...
Deal Sh*t
02 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It was Transfer Deadline Day yesterday and those pesky rats have finally scuttled away from their sinking ships. Alexander Isak got his move, as did Y...
Give it more biff
01 Sep 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Dominik Szoboszlai certainly gave his free-kick plenty of biff yesterday. But can the same be said about Mikel Arteta’s tactics? Today, Marcus, Luke...
My Biddy Aunt: Deadline Day Icons
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
There are just a few days until the summer transfer window slams shut. So what better way to build up to the big day than with a quiz devoted to all t...
The Preview Show: The memes hurt
29 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
“The penalties were long, but the memes were longer” - Vithushan EhantharajahTwo days later and poor Vish is still hurting from Man United’s Lea...
Mailbag: Has player power gone too far?
28 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alexander Isak and Yoane Wissa have their heels well and truly dug into the ground, refusing to play for their clubs until they get a move away. But i...
The Sean Dyche merry-go-round
27 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Sam Allardyce, Alan Pardew, David Moyes... is there anyone left for West Ham to call?*Sean Dyche’s music starts playing*Things have gone from bad to...
Ramble Reacts: Liverpool steal the points
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Join Marcus and Jim as they frolic amongst the ashes of a barn burner at St James’ Park. A literal child scored a 100th minute winner for Liverpool!...
Frank has sense
25 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It might be the second weekend of the Premier League season, but already Marcus has a revolutionary idea that surely every single fan can get behind.H...
My Biddy Aunt: Tottenham’s Nearly Men
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Poor old Daniel Levy. Faffing around with the details of Eberechi Eze's contract then in comes Mikel Arteta and Lovely Berta to nab him for ...
The Preview Show: Mr One Week
22 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Eberechi Eze got his big move to North London, just as we always said he would... Today, Vish and Pete listen to Marcus gloat over what this means for...
The Pillage of Croydon
21 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Crystal Palace are in a right old pickle. Kicked out of the Europa League, set to lose Eberechi Eze and Marc Guéhi, and - no we're not making it up -...
The Moyes Testament
20 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alexander Isak is having a hot mess summer and he appears to now have Yoane Wissa for company. Today, Marcus, Luke and Vish agree that this is a trans...
Mailbag: Are we all sleeping on Manchester City?
19 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It turns out we've got our very own Marcus Speller to thank for Manchester City's revival. After a summer spent taping up Phil Foden's bins, the Citiz...
We’ve got our worm back
18 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Ladies and Gentlemen... Sunderland are back, mythical worm and all! Today, Pete demands that Marcus and Vish show the Sunderland worm more respect now...
My Biddy Aunt: Premier League Newcomers
15 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
My Biddy Aunt is back for the new season… and she’s had a glow-up.You lot voted, the old 'Luke’s Game' got the boot, and now we've got a brand n...
The Preview Show: Phil Jonesing for football
15 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Premier League is back and we kick things off at the home of the Champions! Today, Marcus, Jim and Pete look ahead to that. Plus, Pete suggests a ...
Our 2025/26 Premier League Predictions!
14 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's that time of the year once again, ladies and gents. Time to embarrass ourselves once more as we reveal who we think is going to win the Premier L...
Sing us a song, Jack
13 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
My giddy aunt, Jack Grealish is off to Everton! Marcus, Jim and Vish are here to celebrate the union of David Moyes and Super Jack. Have Everton got t...
Mailbag: Who will surprise us the most this season?
12 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The season's nearly here everybody! The Community Chest has been cracked open and we're ready for the return of Mama Premier League. So, who might put...
Fabrizio Ratmano
10 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Liverpool took Crystal Palace to penalties. Vithushan Ehantharajah, aka the Football Ramble’s official Rat Correspondent, thinks that Liverpool will...
The Preview Show: Best of British
08 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Crystal Palace are off to Wembley again! Is the promise of a first Community Shield victory for Palace enough to bring a bit of needle to Sunday’s c...
Introducing: Second Tier - The Championship Football Podcast
07 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
With the Premier League still a week away, it's time for the Championship to take centre stage!Second Tier is the UK’s number one podcast for all th...
The Chelsea summer catalogue
06 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
All football clubs and fans rejoice, the Chelsea summer catalogue is open for business. With a host of Chelsea players now available to buy or loan, J...
Mailbag: Which club has the most at stake this season?
05 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Just ten more sleeps until the Premier League returns! But which top flight club has the most on the line this season?Pete, Luke & Jim tuck into t...
Champagne Sonpernova
04 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Only one place for Pete, Jim and Luke to start. Who had the better weekend: Luke and Jim screaming their heads off at Oasis, or Pete getting heartburn...
Pure dung beetle
01 Aug 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's official: Alexander Isak has been labelled "a rat". But surely there needs to be a new animal for the Newcastle United fanbase? Pete, Luke and Ji...
Ramble Uncut: Josh Brownhill's poem
31 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
**NEW Football Ramble Patreon offer! If you get an annual subscription before the end of August, you'll get 15% off - so that’s just over $50 for ad...
Occam’s angle grinder
30 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Man United have copied Newcastle’s homework and narrowed their striker options down to Ollie Watkins and Benjamin Šeško. That means Pete, Luke and...
Mailbag: Where are the statues going?
29 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete, Luke and Jim are back to officially plinth Sarina Wiegman on today's Mailbag! Plus, do we think Thomas Frank will tame the Spurs madhouse? Shoul...
Once again: Easy
28 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It’s a historic eeeeeaasaaay for Pete, Luke and Jim today after England retain their Euros crown with a clutch win over Spain. We revel in some era-...
Grealish vs Mouse
25 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Luke, Jim and David are here for a Friday frot! And while there might be no football, there are plenty of worried Geordies because Alexander Isak is b...
On The Continent: The big red Jürgen Klopp button
24 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, we're bringing you a special episode from Andy's European rabble over at On The Continent!He's joined by Dotun and Italian football expert Nick...
SHARONNNN!!!
23 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Eeeeaaasayyy! Those Lionesses didn't half leave it late, eh? But England are into the final of Euro 2025!Pete, Luke & Jim give their thoughts on a...
Mailbag: What's one rule we'd change for next season?
22 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Pete Donaldson is in the hot seat for a Mailbag... what could possibly go wrong? Today he's joined by Luke and Jim for a special rendition of 'I like ...
Famous Sons of Dudley
21 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
This is a really interesting market opportunity. Does he score lots of goals? Not really. Will he quite frequently get sent off? Maybe. But yeah, £10...
Luke's Game: Ramble Icons
18 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We’re back with the final round of Luke’s Game for the summer! In this ‘Ramble Icons’ season finale, Marcus takes on Luke for the belts. And t...
Best of the Football Ramble 2024/25 (Part 2)
17 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Welcome back to our Ramble rewind! Today, we're revisiting some of our favourite stories from the second half of this season, featuring everyone's fav...
Best of the Football Ramble 2024/25 (Part 1)
16 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
For the next two days, we're looking back at some of our favourite moments from the 2024/25 season - aka the longest football season of all time (prob...
Reacting to our Club World Cup predictions
15 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Well there we have it, ladies and gents. The key is in the trophy and the curtain has finally come down on the Club World Cup.So now it’s time for M...
Gianni gets the keys out
14 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Chelsea put in a mesmerising performance against PSG to claim the title of world champions - but that’s not half the story, is it?Join Marcus, Luke,...
Luke's Game: Judas Footballers
11 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's a titanic clash this week: Marcus vs Brassell! And remember, for Andy Luke's Game is what the Turkish Süper Lig was for Mauro Icardi. Andy and h...
Horny little summer boy
11 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
First Mohammed Kudus signs… Now Morgan Gibbs-White?! Imagine what our Big Ange could have done with this spicy new Spurs line-up! RIP Ange u will li...
Ramble Reacts: New money gubs old money
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
In what was billed as Goliath vs Goliath, PSG absolutely crushed Florentino Pérez's poor band of not-so-merry men.Marcus and David wax lyrical about ...
Ratcliffeball
09 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Chelsea are into the final of the Club World Cup! But João Pedro really is extremely sorry about it all.Marcus, Luke and Andy react to Chelsea's marc...
Mailbag: How can we fix football club ownership?
08 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
With the continuing issues at Sheffield Wednesday brought on by owner Dejphon Chansiri, we kick off with a worrying chat about football club ownership...
Incredibly dynamic
07 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
FIFA have always been very benevolent. So of course seats for Chelsea vs Fluminense are going for $13.40. It's what Gianni always wanted.Marcus and Lu...
Upfront: England undone by France and Miedema gives Wales a tough lesson
06 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, we're bringing you a special episode from Upfront, Stak's women's football show!Chloe Morgan and Rachel O'Sullivan discuss everything that went...
Luke's Game: Premier League Cult Heroes
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
It's been smooth sailing so far in our Luke's Game summer series. But now is where it really gets tough.Luke hosts Marcus and Jim for our most challen...
In memory of Diogo Jota
04 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Yesterday the world received the devastating news that Liverpool and Portugal forward Diogo Jota, along with his younger brother André Silva, had tra...
Introducing: P1 with Matt and Tommy
03 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
If you’re sick of Wimbledon like Luke is, or sick of the Club World Cup like everyone else, don’t fear. It’s the British Grand Prix this weekend...
We’re going to Türkiye
02 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Alarming news coming out of Ramble HQ: Marcus has been in Gianni’s pocket the whole time. Turns out the biggest cheerleader for this foul jamboree h...
Mailbag: What's the best way to watch football?
01 Jul 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We're back with another Tuesday treat, answering all of your questions about the current cesspit which is world football. But since we still love it, ...
Maybe you could go for a swim?
30 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Marcus, Luke and Jim break out a good old fashioned Eaaaaazay after England U21s beat Germany and retained their Euros crown. We wonder which of the s...
Luke's Game: World Cup Icons
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
We're back for matchday two of Luke's Game! Defending champion Luke takes on Jack's Encyclopaedia champion Vish with the belt on the line.Today's play...
Sir Gareth Southgate, sir
27 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
That's a wrap on the group stages for the Club World Cup! Sadly, we're saying goodbye to the mighty Mamelodi Sundowns and River Plate, who oh so nearl...
On The Continent: Au revoir Olympique Lyonnais
26 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
Today, we're bringing you a special episode from Andy's European rabble over at On The Continent!He's joined by Dotun and French football expert Jonat...
Ursa Major Massive
25 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The really terrible tournament that we're enjoying and hate but also love goes on. And Gordon Bennett, Auckland City got a point against Boca bloody J...
Mailbag: Could the Club World Cup work one day?
24 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
A tournament straight from the mind of Gianni Infantino is (predictably) a bit of a mess – but is the Club World Cup a totally lost cause, or is the...
European Mulch
23 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
The Brazilian sides cannot be stopped at this Club World Cup thing. Flamengo dispatched Chelsea (while Nicolas Jackson dispatched himself) and who kno...
Luke's Game Returns! English Football Hall of Fame Edition
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
That's right! Luke's Game has been restored to its former glory for the summer of 2025.The rules are simple: can you name more clubs a footballer has ...
Al-Hilarious
20 Jun 2025
Contributed by Lukas
These long summer days. They’re just made for throwing a ball in the backyard with, say, I don’t know... Brad Friedel, aren’t they?Marcus, Luke ...