192 | How Husbands Can Support Their Wives Through Miscarriage: A Husband's Perspective

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What is Adam’s personal story of losing their daughter Hannah at 12 weeks?

Adam Yan 0:00
And I think up to that point I had somehow shielded my mind, shielded my heart, and had not allowed myself to fully experience the grief of the miscarriage. And that night in the hospital, as we delivered the baby, it finally set in what we were dealing with and what we were experiencing. And I felt the full weight of the grief all at once. It hit very, very suddenly.
Bekah Yawn 0:30
Hey sister, welcome to For The Love of Hormones. Have you been trying to get pregnant and you're struggling to trust God with his timing? Has a miscarriage made you question if you'll be able to carry a healthy pregnancy? Or maybe you're just confused about how to track your cycle and know what it means? Hey, I'm Becca. I'm a wife, a stay-at-home mom, and a daughter of God. I have three children here on earth and three babies in heaven. After our third miscarriage, I left the doctor's office wondering What I was doing wrong. I searched Google to learn more about cycle and hormonal health, but I was left feeling so confused. Until God revealed what I was missing, understanding my cycle and his design, and how to support it naturally.
Bekah Yawn 1:08
In this podcast, you will find answers to all of your period, ovulation, and cycle questions so that you can find the path for getting pregnant in God's design. So, sister, for the love of hormones, put the pregnancy test stick down because it's time for a Come to Jesus and Hormones meeting.
Bekah Yawn 1:33
Hey sister, we're coming to you today with a repeat guest. This one's kind of special. I don't know. I mean, he's okay. I'm just kidding. He's actually the best. Um, this is the one and only Adam Yan, my wonderful husband. So welcome, honey.
Unknown 1:50
Thank you for having me.
Bekah Yawn 1:51
Yes. So happy to have you on. Um, happy to have you on, but but this is kind of a heavier subject. So I'm thankful that you're here um and willing to kind of share your input on this topic of miscarriage and how husbands can support their wives. I'd love to go into how husbands can support their wives physically, emotionally, and spiritually in the season of loss. Because I know coming from the guy's perspective, it's it's a very different perspective than what the girl goes through. So yeah, I mean before before we get into that, again, thanks for thanks for being I think the last time you were here was I don't know, I think we were talking about our healing journey and I guess I guess your your thoughts on that, that was a long time ago.
Bekah Yawn 2:32
So
Adam Yan 2:33
Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's been a minute. I had a lot of ums in that episode, so I'm gonna try to not do that again.
Bekah Yawn 2:38
Yeah. Well, you know, we do have great editing tools these days that sometimes can take that out, but it is it is a good habit. So yeah, let's just dive right into it. And um, you know, uh I guess I guess you can kinda go through our first loss, Hannah, fifteen weeks and um I know several years ago. Um and just kind of you can share what your experience was like and maybe share any insight and encouragement you could give to husbands who are like today, this week, this month, you know, going through this loss and what encouragement you would give them.
Adam Yan 3:13
Sure. So I guess we can start with the story. And then we can go to support and that kind of thing. But we were past the big twelve week mark and I had heard that once you get past twelve weeks it's smooth sailing, the chances of a miscarriage are extremely low. So I definitely had my guard down. I think we both had our guards down. And there hadn't been really any signs of Anything amiss or anything funny? And we were really excited to go to our first four D ultrasound and see the baby in a new way. Then we got to the ultrasound and they did the ultrasound and there's a lot of quiet and a lot of the technician not talking. And after some time, she said, We can't find a heartbeat. And I am maybe an optimist to a fault at times.

How did Adam initially process the miscarriage and what emotions did he experience?

Adam Yan 4:13
I convinced myself at that moment. That she just unfortunately I it's not a very nice thing to say, but I was trying to convince myself maybe she just doesn't know how to do her job very well. I was holding on to hopes That this was just an error.

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