The News Quiz Ep6. Brexpressionism

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Friday Night Comedy from BBC Radio 4 29 min 5 speakers 8 chapters transcribed 3 months ago
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What is the main question about Brexit posed in this episode?

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Andy Zaltzman 0:27
Hello, I am Andy Zaltzman.
Stephen Bush 0:34
This week's news quiz comes from the Hay Festival of Literature and Arts. Hey, can you lot all stop reading your novels and give me a cheer? Thank you. So before the show, I thought I'd blend in by writing a book. Right, first things first. The title, How Keir Starmer Can Bounce Back and Win the Country Round. The end. Right, I'll send that off to the publishers as soon as we've finished this week's news quiz. Welcome to the New Year's. I'm Andrew Zolton. Our teams here at Hay were paying tribute to popular book genres and to the HS2 budget, so we have Team Epic Fantasy against Team True Crime. On Team Fantasy, we have Robin Morgan and, from the Financial Times, Stephen Bush. And on Team Crime, we have Kiri Pritchard-McLean and Chloe Petz.
Stephen Bush 1:38
Right, our first question can go to Kiri and Chloe. Andy Burnham said this week that the last thing we should do right now is what?
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 1:47
Ooh, is it the Three Peaks Challenge? It's his idea to get the economy back on track. Right. Just to see how much he can fundraise. And get the whole nation doing it at the same time, tackling the obesity crisis, raising money, just in a couple of minibuses.
Chloe Petts 2:02
Right. He's just going to Captain Tom it, isn't he?
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 2:05
Absolutely, yeah. I love that that's a verb now. Yeah, I think that...
Stephen Bush 2:10
Right. It's not the correct answer, but I think it would definitely. It's probably the most coherent economic plan I've heard for this country in, let's say, just over ten years. Chloe, Andy Burnham said the last thing we should do right now is what?
Chloe Petts 2:22
Was it release the document saying that the Queen wanted Prince Andrew to become a train envoy in 2002? Oh, crap!
Not quite right. Stephen? Is it start pointing out that he looks a bit like one of the Thunderbirds? Topical reference there.
Robin Morgan 2:39
He does, doesn't he? Yeah, yeah.
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 2:41
I like that for him. It's the strong brows, isn't it? Yeah, I see that. I think it looks wise. He's got the energy of... And the kind of swagger. I don't think people are drawn to this Mancunian swagger, but I think it's the swagger of the fastest dad at Sports Day. I think that's his... It is, isn't it? The guy who's just done the running race, you're like, calm down, mate. It was 50 yards and you brought your running shoes.

How do the panellists address Welsh independence?

Robin Morgan 3:03
Robin? I think the last thing we should do right now is have a quiz about the news. That's what he says. He's a very serious man and this is mocking him.
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 3:12
It's disrespectful.
Robin Morgan 3:13
It is, absolutely.
Stephen Bush 3:15
None of those are right. Any more suggestions? The last thing we should do right now is... Kiss. Panic. Panic, was that?
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 3:22
Is that your safe word? Is that why you're... Yelling this out.
Stephen Bush 3:28
Said in the most panicked voice, I don't... Panic! No-one ever says, now is not the time to panic, unless it is definitely the time.
Chloe Petts 3:38
Something to do with Brexit, isn't it? Yes. It always is. Why are we talking about Brexit again?
Kiri Pritchard-McLean 3:43
Well, that's kind of his argument, isn't it, that he's being asked about? Because formerly he was a Remainer, and so people, you know, as he's looking like he's surreptitiously doing a leadership challenge by this by-election, they've said, well, you know, you're against Brexit, would you take us back into the EU? And he's like, listen, now is not the time to talk about it. But that's now all anyone is talking about. That's been the problem.
Robin Morgan 4:06
He said we don't need to rerun Brexit arguments, but I think that's because we've now seen what he looks like in running shorts. I'm pretty sure I saw a low-hanging testicle at one point.
Stephen Bush 4:18
Well, I mean, I guess there's another... We're coming up to the 10th anniversary of the Brexit vote. Who's excited by that? Oh, shit. Just accurately reflected the mood of the nation.
Well done.
Stephen Bush 4:28
I mean, is this something we need to regurgitate this half-digested meal, recook it, eat it again and see what happens? Well, what a pretty word picture.
So the political subtext here is that Wes Streeting, his main rival for the leadership, is from a constituency in London where we're, on the whole, not too keen on Brexit.

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