From Surviving to Thriving: A No Tools, No Techniques Shift from Stress and Overwhelm to Fulfilment

Thoughts Flow

31 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed where your thoughts tend to flow? Probably down the same tracks they have always flowed down a bit like the way streams flow down a m...

You are okay!

28 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I know that might sometimes seem hard to believe that you are okay but I guess it depends what you view as being okay. It is okay to cry, to have nega...

Weather System of the Mind

27 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you in touch with your internal weather system right now? Is it stormy, sunny or maybe a little cloudy? It is good to be aware because there is in...

Balloons

26 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed what happens when you stop blowing air into a balloon? Silly question I know but bear with me. Let's imagine a scenario! You have a n...

Being Afraid of Being Afraid

25 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

I remember the first time I became aware of being afraid of being afraid. It was many years ago when I first started helping people with fear. A woman...

Two Paradigms

24 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Can life work within more than one paradigm? In other words, can there be more than one model of how something works that is true? The set of psycholo...

Unlearning

21 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever contemplated how much you have learned in life? When I think about that, it feels like thinking about the size of the universe; impossib...

Thinking About Thinking

20 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How much time do you spend thinking about your thinking was a question I asked recently on social media. The result showed that 67% of respondents spe...

Are you perfect?

19 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you perfect? I know I am not! I make mistakes and mess up because I am human. My mistakes might look different to yours and my judgement might mak...

Defining Ourselves

18 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

"How do you know who you are?", is a really interesting question to think about. It's a consideration of what we think defines us. Perhaps we might th...

Is this true?

17 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

"Is this true?" is such a powerful question. When you are caught up and feeling stressed can you become aware of your thoughts. You don't need to judg...

Internal Ruler

14 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How do we measure how we are feeling? Maybe in comparison to a previous state, by looking at other people or through an ideal that we have created for...

Self-Love

13 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever tried to love yourself? It seems to be well thought of advice. In fact I nearly branded myself as a Self-Love Coach a few years ago. At ...

A New Psychological Model

12 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you think humans can be psychologically broken? If you do, you are not alone because this is a psychological belief which is widely held. The idea ...

Responses and Reactions

11 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed that other people don't respond the way you think they will? Twice in the last few days I have communicated something which has been ...

Crying

10 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Do you appreciate a good cry? A swell of emotion which rises up and bubbles over which can come from happy thoughts or sad ones. Sometimes I experienc...

Reading People

07 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How good do you think you are at reading people? I remember being taught once that reading people was part of the job of a coach. Checking eye movemen...

Should!

06 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

How much do you use the word 'should'? This should be like that, I should be better or this shouldn't be happening. Have you noticed how it feels? Pre...

The Same Old Moves

05 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you using the same old moves when life gets tricky? Perhaps this is something you have noticed or maybe not because we humans are pretty habitual ...

The Rules of Human Experience

04 Jan 2022

Contributed by Lukas

Are you working with an understanding of the rules of human experience because life is so much easier when you do? Let's take gravity as an example. I...

Self-Development

24 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"When do we start learning all this self-development stuff?", was a brilliant question I was asked by a client recently. As adults, I think we usually...

Importance

23 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What seems really important to you right now? Perhaps things turning out a certain way, maybe someone behaving differently or wanting to feel a differ...

Believing

22 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you believe what you think about yourself? You know! That little voice inside your head which says all sorts of unhelpful things! Things like you c...

Fulfilment

21 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Will you be seeking fulfilment in 2022? In other words, will you be seeking 'the achievement of something desired, promised, or predicted'? It seems w...

Inner Voice

20 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What is your relationship with the voice in your head? Perhaps this question will help you consider that because you probably haven't thought about it...

Performance

17 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

What do you do to perform at your best? A morning routine, endless self-development or follow the gurus' tools and techniques. It seems there are lots...

Goals

16 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you created any goals for next year? Perhaps you are just contemplating them at the moment. Thinking about what you would like to create in 2022....

Rules

15 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Can you think of some of the rules you learnt as you were growing up? 'Don't touch flames, they will burn you!' and 'Don't walk in front of a car, it ...

Habits

14 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever tried to remove a habit? Perhaps you are contemplating that as we near the start of a new year. I spent a lot of time on habit change. I...

Crystal Ball

13 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A crystal ball is place in which to gaze to see the future with the wise old woman sitting on the other side. You know the scene. If you haven't seen ...

Out of the blue

10 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Out of the blue is where all the best ideas come from. Not from racking your brains and puzzling things out. Have you noticed that? For me it's during...

Venting

09 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you like a good vent? Go on, fess up! Once upon a time, venting would have been my Olympic sport of choice. I used to get so riled up about other p...

Human Nature

08 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Human nature is defined as follows: the general psychological characteristics, feelings, and behavioural traits of humankind, regarded as shared by al...

It was only a nightmare

07 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It was only a nightmare is what we say when we wake up from a bad dream. We might be sweaty, our hearts might be beating fast and our thoughts might b...

It could be ...

06 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It could be was something I heard many times during my time in therapy. It could be this thing which happened in your childhood or that thing which ha...

Discernment

03 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well. I had an insight about this during a coaching conversation recently. You see, all day every day, ...

Sleep

02 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

My sleep is interesting right now. In fact it probably has been for a while. This morning I woke up at 3am which seems to be when the ideas emerge. I ...

Resolutions

01 Dec 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Resolutions will be on our minds in just 1 month's time. Have you started to consider yours or have you stopped making them because you have realised ...

Containers

30 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Containers come in all shapes and sizes and they are often made to for certain objects. Packaging is a great example. Pringles fit perfectly into thei...

Spinning Plates

29 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Spinning plates and juggling balls is a great metaphor for life when you are stressed because that's what it feels like. It looks like stopping will m...

Crises!

26 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you ever had to navigate a crisis or a real life emergency. Did you notice how amazing you were? In the moment, step by step, solving the problem...

Patterns

25 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed how many patterns we have? Patterns of thoughts, feelings and behaviours. It can look like there is a lot to do to change them. Thing...

Stories

24 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

We are telling stories all day every day. Stories about ourselves, other people and the future. We often don't notice which is utterly human. But when...

Wrongification

23 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Wrongification is a word I made up. It came to me as I commented on a post recently about whether or not we work on Sundays. I sometimes do but I some...

Anger

22 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Anger is a much maligned emotion. When we are young we might be discouraged from expressing it because it seems to be one of those 'wrong' feelings. L...

Opinions

19 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There are a lot of opinions about but have you noticed how you feel when someone expresses one different to yours? Angry, upset or superior? I notice ...

You are the canvas not the paint

18 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You are the canvas not the paint is a  beautiful metaphor which explains so much. The canvas is white, clean and pure. It almost seems to emit light ...

Fear!

17 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There seems to be a lot of fear about right now. When we say, "I am afraid of ...", it looks so real and once that fear is in place it looks like ther...

There's a difference between revealing and adding wellbeing.

16 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There's a difference between revealing and adding wellbeing which is clear when you take a moment to think about it. Here's a helpful metaphor. Your c...

The search for relief is always hiding the truth

15 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The search for relief is always hiding the truth but that search is so persuasive isn't it? It's a human mission when we don't like how we feel seek r...

There's no way to stop feelings coming in

12 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There's no way to stop feelings coming in even though it can look like there is. It looks like you can use tools and techniques, resolve the past or  ...

Thinking we have to do it all now.

11 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Sometimes it looks like we have to do it all now and that creates an overwhelmed feeling. But here's how thought is the true source of that overwhelme...

Perfectionism

10 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I was plagued by perfectionism (I still am a bit really.). There's a sense of things I do needing to be perfect which can slow things down. I can stop...

There's a middle man involved!

09 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There's a middle man involved sitting between what's out there and our experience of it. It really can look like our experience is pure. Something hap...

Remember that you get over it.

08 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed that you get over things every time. When you are in the thick of it you can forget really easily. It might be overwhelm, stress or t...

You are Not Broken

05 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You are not broken, neither am I and neither is anyone else. I truly believe this now but I didn't used. I used to think, 'There are so many broken pe...

Simplicity is powerful.

04 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The power of simplicity is something I have seen more and more over the last 2 years. Of course, life got simpler in the outside world because there w...

Fear of the Unknown

03 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Fear of the unknown seems to be a current issue which innocently creating suffering. I hear it expressed often particularly about the future. People s...

Commitment

02 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Commitment is a word which is used a lot in relationships, in business and in learning to name but a few. But here is different question about commitm...

I woke up feeling anxious!

01 Nov 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I woke up feeling anxious! You know the feeling. Butterflies in the stomach, a general unease around the shoulders and a head which is a bit fuzzy. I ...

Information creates that overwhelmed feeling.

29 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Information from the outside creates that overwhelmed feeling. Information from the news, social media and other people's ideas. But also information ...

Lies, damn lies and the things we think about ourselves!

28 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Lies, damn lies and the things we think about ourselves ordered perfectly from bad to worse and here's why. You see the things you think about yoursel...

"I am not coping with this"

27 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"I am not coping with this", said someone I was talking to a few days ago. I asked him a simple question, "How do you know you are not coping?" He pau...

Control!

26 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Control is an old friend of mine which is thankfully now hanging around a little less but we were close for a long time. Once upon a time, I tried to ...

Ahhhhh! The past ...

25 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The past is so temptingly presented to us as the panacea of mental wellbeing. You are encouraged to work through your traumas, find the source of your...

A thought appears, then what?

22 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

A thought appears, then what? Well ideally it passes right on through a bit like a cloud passing across the sky. Some of our thoughts do that don't th...

Life is happening in the meantime.

21 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Life is happening in the meantime. It is happening while you are making up a scary future, feeling guilty about the past or trying to work out why som...

Selective editing

20 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you know that you are selectively editing all the time? The thing is that humans have a limited capacity to experience the world. Of the 11 million...

If you think it's about you sound the alarm bell!

19 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If you think it's about you sound the alarm bell because thinking it's about you is a warning that your thinking has gone into story mode. The lack of...

From first impressions to that overwhelmed feeling.

18 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

From first impressions to that overwhelmed feeling can happen in a flash can't it! Often we don't even know we have done it because we don't notice th...

You make a molehill out of a mountain.

15 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

"You make a molehill out of a mountain", is what was said to me at the end of a conversation yesterday. And I just love it because I think it really s...

Living outside facts creates that overwhelmed feeling

14 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Living in denial of facts creates that overwhelmed feeling because there are some facts about being human. They are truths - like those in science - l...

Presence or positivity - which is more important?

13 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Presence or positivity? Which one do you think is more important? Positivity might look like the winner because it gets a really good press. But prese...

Are you trying to be 100%

12 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you trying to be 100% in how you are feeling or in your business or in your parenting? I think I tried to be 100% for a long time. That didn't tur...

Would you like to be more like Dory?

11 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Do you remember Dory from Finding Nemo? She is his little friend who helps him on his journey. The most significant thing about Dory is that she suffe...

Would you like directions or instructions for the SAT NAV?

08 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Would you like directions or instructions for the SAT NAV because I, like many others who want to help, could do either. I could tell you all the thin...

It's Impossible Not to Think

07 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

It's impossible not to think! I tried it for a while. Meditation seemed to be the way to do that. But those thoughts just kept popping in.Of course be...

Misunderstanding Feelings

06 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

I spent years misunderstanding my feelings. It went through 2 phases. The first phase looked like this. If I felt angry, I thought that was coming fro...

Let Me Show You Where Calm Isn't

05 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Let me show you where calm isn't because then you will find it yourself. Because calm isn't in having some time to yourself, in the run you do every d...

If We Could See Inside Each Other

04 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

If we could see inside each other have you ever thought about that we would see? I think we would see so much that is similar. Similar insecurities,  ...

Noisily Searching to be Calm

01 Oct 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Noisily searching to be calm was something I was doing that for a long time. It involved trying to control a lot. I tried to maintain a circumstances,...

You cannot argue with a drunk person

30 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

You cannot argue with a drunk person. I mean have you ever tried that. When I was a teacher, I quite often was the designated driver. That meant I was...

What are you making up?

29 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

'What are you making up?', is a question I used to ask when I was a headteacher :-) But as I ask it now, it is in a very different way. Because all da...

Beliefs

28 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Beliefs, goodness do we have a lot of those. The ones about ourselves seem most believable. Surely I must know myself; know who I am and what I am cap...

Trying to Control Thoughts

27 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Trying to control thoughts increases that overwhelmed feeling which is pretty much the opposite of what we are told isn't it?We are told to think posi...

Trying to Control Emotions

24 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Are you trying to control your emotions? Have you noticed how hard that is? I tried to do that for a long time. I wanted to feel motivated and to sto...

Trying to Get Off The Roller Coaster

23 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Have you noticed that trying to get off the roller coaster of life increases overwhelm?But it can seem like that is something to attain, a life free f...

Addition Cannot Make You Calmer

22 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Addition cannot make you calmer. Because where we see lack there is judgement. Judgement is thought. It is thought which takes you away from feeling c...

Truth

21 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Confusion about truth creates that overwhelmed feeling. Because, have you considered what is really true? Your thoughts about the future? Your 'what i...

Judgement is the Catalyst for That Overwhelmed Feeling

20 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Can you imagine what there would be without judgement? Acceptance, calm and clarity. So can you notice where judgement is a catalyst for that overwhel...

Upset Thinking

17 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

When you listening to your upset, have you noticed what happens? You react to the world outside, to the people around you and to your own feelings. Qu...

How Many Expectations Do You Have?

16 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How many expectations do you have of yourself, your relationships and about the results of your actions. Can you see their contribution to that overwh...

The Source of That Overwhelmed Feeling

15 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

The source of your overwhelmed feeling might look like your full inbox, your jam-packed diary or your crazy full home life. It might seem like it's ha...

Being Consistent is Contributing to Your Overwhelmed Feeling.

14 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

There is a message out there that we are supposed to be consistent. In life, in business, in parenting etc etcWe MUST be consistent. But we're not are...

Positive Thinking Day

13 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This episode was recorded on Positive Thinking Day. But I am here with some news! You DON'T have to think positively. You DON'T have to change your 'n...

Are You Trying to Transcend to Manage Stress?

10 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

This beautiful topic came up during a recent conversation with a client. As we talked about the experience he was trying to avoid, he said, 'I think I...

How Not to Manage Stress

09 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

How not to manage stress! Seems like a really strange title for a piece doesn't it? You are much more likely to see content about how to manage stress...

Conditions

07 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Conditions!How many of those do you have in place?Conditions for happiness.Conditions for calm.Conditions for action.There are so many of these at pla...

Decisions

06 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Decisions!How many of those do you make each day?There will be some you don't even notice.But there will be some which appear huge.They fill your head...

Resilience

03 Sep 2021

Contributed by Lukas

Resilience!That's a big topic.It's so big that if you search 'How to build resilience' on Google you get ....206 000 000 results!!Yes!!Two hundred and...