Chapter 1: How did the hosts survive the holiday childcare chaos?
The following podcast is a Dear Media production. Mazel Morons, welcome back to the Good Guides Podcast. It's 2026, baby. It's July or January 8th. I am completely overwhelmed. We're doing topical podcasts. It's Thursday, January 8th. I feel like a kidnap victim. Help! It's so good. Like, what did it take us three years to get topical?
It's Thursday, January 8th, and we are releasing the episode Thursday, January 8th. And Josh, it is not too late to say happy new year. OK, it's not too late now because really the new year started. Let me know if you agree.
Chapter 2: What are the hosts' thoughts on beards and personal grooming?
The new year this year started on Monday, January 5th. Monday, January 5th is the new January 1st. With the way it fell, what am I going to do? I'm going to start New Year's resolutions on what was it, a Thursday night? No, no, you enjoy your weekend. We're still in this weird two and a half weeks. This was a long time, Josh. Hanukkah, Christmas, New Year's. I think I read that it fell.
It was the longest it could possibly fall. Really? People who work corporate jobs. Yes. Because like Christmas was on a went a Thursday. So they had to give the Friday.
Chapter 3: What are the funniest Christmas chaos stories shared?
The New Year's was on the Thursday. So they had to give the Friday. So it just created this. Nobody knows where they are, who they are, what they're doing. But we do, Josh. We do because we're here live in person, not in person, across the country from each other. But we're here, Josh. We're here. Yes. No, listen, no one felt that more succinctly than me with our childcare.
Cause suddenly two weeks off. What are you kidding me? This is nuts. I love my children, but not so much. This is too much time with my own.
Chapter 4: How does Elf on the Shelf serve as a parenting tool?
I know, you know, you never think you can get tired of your own children. You know what I mean? They come from you, but let me tell you, they had nothing new to offer by December 28th. And did you grow this beard? Which I think is beautiful, by the way. Did you grow it over that two-week period? Yes, you did. Yes, you did, Josh. Pretty crazy, huh? I love it. I love it.
But this is also the look of like, I didn't have time to shave over a two-week period because I was too busy with my children type of beard. Let me tell you, if I could grow that beard, I would grow it instantly. My beard comes in far too patchy. It's ugly.
Chapter 5: What caffeine interventions did the hosts experience?
It's not what you want. You'd look at it and you'd say, Ben, you have to shave. You look terrible. I'll send you some pictures of me during COVID. My goodness. I grew out that beard. I'm so embarrassed. I thought I looked great. I thought I was Luke Combs. I wasn't Luke Combs. I was leukemia. It was. That's funny. It was terrible. Thank you.
Chapter 6: What parenting breakthroughs did the hosts discuss?
It was terrible. So yeah, it was no good. Your beard looks fantastic. It's pretty unbelievable that within 20 days, like I probably shaved bare naked razor shave 20 days ago. And now I have this pretty, pretty substantial, huh? Maybe I'm supposed to be a prophet. It's very impressive. You're built to be a rabbi. Let's just see how long it goes. Like how long have you ever gone without shaving?
maybe a month or two for a movie I was doing. But, you know, I'll tell you exactly what this is. And it happens to usually fall around a new year. I shaved my head once, 2020, January, no, December, 2020. And because my hair had always been a big source of vanity for me.
Chapter 7: What are the hosts' New Year's resolutions?
And it also had been incredibly unruly. I was wrestling with my hair. I was going against my roots because I got it relaxed for over 10 years, Brazilian blowouts. I was getting hot combed. You know what I'm saying? I do. And I said to myself, I'm 33 years old at the time. I have a child. It's enough. You know, I don't know how much longer I can sustain it.
And it was the first time that I really, and it, I got a bunch of big work subsequently. Like there was something freeing about doing this. And similarly, I, I have weird OCD things about cleanliness, texture. I really hate makeup on my face.
Chapter 8: How do the hosts feel about Tim Allen and Ray Charles?
Every makeup artist for anything I've worked on has always been like, you don't want to be in this chair, do you? Like I'm always respectful and patient, but I'm always, they could just tell, like some people love getting made up and I don't. I don't like products. I don't like feeling dirty. So this beard is very triggering for me. I feel dirty all the time. I have long hair.
It's a lot, but my wife said I looked handsome and she likes it. And I trust her taste more than my own. So it's counter, what's the word? I'm taking, yeah, I'm going against my instinct in a good way. And I'm taking a little contrary action. If your wife tells you you look handsome, you keep whatever that is. That is a huge win. Huge win. And I can tell you, you look handsome.
I can also tell you that, unfortunately, I know that itchy beard feeling. And that's exactly what always prompts me to shave. I will just go. Even though I know when I'm fully 100% clean shaven, I look like a lesbian. No question. Sure. Always. I don't know what it is. I always look like a lesbian. Not there's anything wrong with that. It's just wrong for me, Josh. It's wrong for me.
OK, I don't I don't want that look. So, Josh, I go from this scraggly beard that I'm trying to I'm trying to get to that point. And then one day I'm just like, fuck it. I'm too itchy. I need to get this off me. And I single bladed all the way down. You're like, suddenly I have a Subaru and I'm listening to Sarah McLachlan. And I, it's enough. Yes. Yes. It's enough. Yes.
Speaking of lesbians, I want to congratulate beautiful friends of the podcast. Dear friends of ours, Taylor Strecker and Taylor Donahue had a beautiful baby. And let me tell you this, this baby bow, she's gorgeous. That's her name. She is gorgeous. What a journey for them. Wow. I don't know. I thought of lesbians. I thought of them. My favorite lesbians. Love them so much. Yes. Love them so much.
I get that. Beautiful baby Bo. Beautiful baby Bo. Bo, we considered Bo as a name for one of our children, but like Bo Peck, did it seem like Bo Peep? I know we weren't sure. A little. A little, but I like Bo Peck. I like the name Bo in general. It's great. Beautiful name. Is there a world in which, and God willing, let you have a small litter of beautiful children?
I feel like you'll never go too exotic with the names, right? It's always going to be pretty Jewish, pretty biblical. I think so. I think so. I mean, we like naming after... people who are deceased. So it's hard to get away from those true Jewish names, even though for Ruby, we just pulled the R. Yeah, no, I don't think we'll ever go to too crazy, but Ruby, I mean, some think Ruby is crazy.
I'm always saying Ruby. They're like, he's a girl. I'm like, no, he's a boy. His name is Ruben, Ruben, Ruby, Ruben, Ruby. But I think some people would consider Ruby for a boy, a little, a little out there, even though at one point it was quite fashionable. And let me tell you, Josh, this boy, you've met him. This is a Ruby. He couldn't be anything else. He's Ruby. He's Ruby. He is. He's Ruby.
The same way that all of your kids are all of their names. It's so funny. Like, they could never be anything else. But we go back and forth. Oh, should they be this name? Should they be that name? The name, it's their name. Do you think that anybody ever looks at their kid and they're like, you're really not an Ashley. I wish I didn't name you Ashley. You think that ever happens? Yeah.
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