Cat Burns on Grief | GREAT MOMENTS
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What is the significance of grief in our lives?
Hello, everyone. My name is Jamie Lang, and this is Great Moments. Hey, guys. This is Great Moments, where I share some of my favorite moments from my conversations on Great Company. Now, we've had so many incredible guests on the show, and there are things they've said that have really stayed with me long after the conversation ended. So each week, I'll bring you one standout moment, something that's made me think, made me laugh or cry or change my perspective. And hopefully, there's something in it for you, too. So are you ready? Let's get into it.
Your dad wasn't around.
I mean, like, not really. So what was the relationship there? Because your mum's your kind of rock, I imagine, right?
She's my queen. She's the queen of my existence. I didn't have the best relationship with my dad. And he passed away four years ago. Wow. Christmas Day. Which is why I think Slightly a tangent, but still within topic. I think people who experience grief are one of the most loving people you could meet because we know the fragility of life and how important it is to love people when they're there. And it's a sad club to be a part of, but the... it's a beautiful one as well because you've we've learned the price we pay for love um but but it's nice because my mum I can do random things my mum will be like you know your dad did that exact same thing like town to how I moisturize my face or like I can personify anything I could I could do anything like I've got my imagination is so like what do you mean you could be sort of like it
Like, I could be driving and a random pedestrian just crosses the street. I'll give them a random name. I've given them a backstory. I'll be like, why have you done that, Janine? What's your problem? Or like, I can just really... I can personify any... I can build a story. You can build a world around anything and anyone. Exactly. And that's something that he would do. And he was always the life and soul of the... He would be the one giving advice to everybody and doing all of these things. But...
How did Cat Burns' relationship with her dad influence her perspective on grief?
And he wasn't able to provide that to his family.
How old were you when he wasn't around?
But they split up when I was seven and divorced when I was nine.
Same thing, my parents divorced when I was around, yeah, split up seven, eight, divorced, yeah. Yeah. It's a tricky time. As an individual, not just the divorce time, obviously that's tricky, but in terms of growth, it's a real sort of precious time, I think, because you're still in that stage where I found that it's like parents are everything.
Yeah.
And then suddenly that separates. You're a bit like, well, the world's pretty scary because what's happening here? And you don't really understand it as well. So I didn't process it very well. Right. Interesting. I really didn't process it at all.
I think the difference there is I was happy. I was like, oh, thank God. It could just be me, my mum and my sister. We can just frolic around. This is vibes. Wow. Yeah, I was like, the vibes in this house are not good. So once he was gone, I was like, oh, yes. It's the truth.
Yeah, I mean, that's an amazing truth.
Yeah, I was like, yeah, I mean, naturally.
But explain that to me. What were the vibes in the house before?
It wasn't a good environment, I think.
Hostel? Anything like that?
Yeah, I think he was just, again, as an adult, and once I've unpacked it in therapy, I just think he's probably, well, neurodivergency is paternal.
Why are people who experience grief often more loving?
So he most probably had ADHD and or autism. And I think he just had a lot of sensory overload. He wasn't able to regulate his emotions that well. And I think when you're in the household receiving that, that can make you... Well, that's what made me quite an anxious child. So then when he was out, I was like... Thank goodness. And then as I got older, you know, you unpack, you develop, you know, you start to seek connection. And I think I was really boy crazy when I was a teen, which is crazy because I am a gigantic lesbian. But I was really boy crazy when I was a teenager. And even now thinking about it, it's probably because I was trying to seek a male love.
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