FEARNE COTTON: How I Set Boundaries & Stopped Being a People Pleaser

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Great Company with Jamie Laing 57 min 3 speakers 8 chapters transcribed
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How did Fearne Cotton start her career in the entertainment industry?

Fearne Cotton 0:00
I had diluted myself down to a version of me that was just beige enough to get by, so no one gave me shit. It absolutely crushed me.
Jamie Laing 0:11
Being in the entertainment business, it's all about being liked.
Fearne Cotton 0:14
But it was survival being likable. Because if I wasn't likeable, I didn't have a job. The audience turn against you, you are screwed. And I was incredibly depressed for a long time and on medication just to like, you know, still going to Radio 1 every day and having to deal with all of it. It all just hit me in one big lump and it was utterly horrendous. Hello, I'm Fern Cotton and I'm in great company.
Jamie Laing 0:41
A round of applause for Fern Cotton, everybody. And now here's Fern Cotton. I heard that you had a boyfriend once who said you could never get any tattoos. And so to rebel, you got a tattoo. Is this right? Do you want to see it? Fucking massive.
Fearne Cotton 0:54
That went down really badly.
Jamie Laing 0:56
You started TV at 15.
Fearne Cotton 0:57
Yes. Very lucky. I have a job that I love and I've been doing it for a very long time. But it can be absolutely horrific.

What challenges did Fearne face with anxiety and people pleasing?

Fearne Cotton 1:05
And two things can be true at the same time. And then sort of subsequently went through a big, big patch of anxiety and panic after that that was, you know, debilitating. So it was suddenly out of nowhere? Yeah. I couldn't do live TV. I had to stop doing live radio. I couldn't drive a car on the motorway or an A-road because the speed would give me a panic attack. But the last four years, I have tackled all of it head on.
Jamie Laing 1:28
How do you do that?
Fearne Cotton 1:29
Okay, so I can't believe I'm saying this.
Unknown 1:35
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Jamie Laing 2:13
Guys, welcome back to another episode of Great Company. Firstly, thank you so much for coming back. Really appreciate it. Today's episode is with a great friend of mine, Fern Cotton. And weirdly, Fern and I and a couple of our friends, we go for dinners like every other month to chat about life and everything. So having this podcast here is like one of our dinners. We chat about parenting, the fact that I've become a new dad, that is kind of really interesting for me. We also talk about how Fern is stopping being a people pleaser. And we also talk about how she experienced panic attacks and anxiety and how she's overcome that. today's episode goes all over the place and I can't wait for you to listen to it now before we start again if I can ask you just one thing which is subscribe to our show I know I keep asking you every single week but it does us wonders and it means we can keep making the show better and better for you each week so join the community and click subscribe if you can okay here we go enjoy this amazing episode of Great Company with Fern Cotton having kids is exhausting
Jamie Laing 3:08
That's how I'm going to go straight in there with that.
Fearne Cotton 3:12
Straight in. It's crazy. I know. And do you know what? We obviously, we had dinner not long before Siggy was born.
Unknown 3:19
Yeah.
Fearne Cotton 3:19
And you can't do the thing of saying to a mate, oh my God, watch out, like the tiredness is bleak. You can't. You just got to, you experience it as you do and you learn on the job, but it's unreal. But you've already, you've been there, you've experienced it, you're still in it.
Jamie Laing 3:35
You've got teenagers. It doesn't end. It doesn't end. It never ends.
It never ends.
Fearne Cotton 3:41
No. And it does get, Easier in ways.

How has Fearne learned to set boundaries in her life?

Fearne Cotton 3:44
You know, I'm not sort of wiping shitty arses anymore, but... Yeah, that's a good thing. You are dealing with other stuff like get off your phone, get off the PlayStation. You know, there's other things that replace the shitty bums. And sleep can still sometimes be bad if they're ill or one of them's had a nightmare. You know, my daughter will still get in the bed with me here and there.

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