Episode 410: Robert Greene: Are Great Observers Born or Made? The Nature vs Nurture of Empathy
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Are empathy and observational skills innate or learned?
Well, it's a good question of is it nature or nurture? So is it something that is your brain wired that way? There's probably an element to it. So for instance, it's a known fact through studies, excuse me, that women are more naturally empathetic than men. Is there something about the way women's brains work? Or is it from the fact that women are socialized to be more attentive to the needs of other people? How do you answer that question? I think probably from my upbringing, from the relationship to my parents, where I wasn't neglected, but I was sort of left alone.
What influences our ability to empathize?
and so my way of surviving in this world was to observe people you know that was the only way i could feel secure was to understand what so that i wouldn't get hurt i wouldn't my parents weren't abusive at all they were very kind but you know i wasn't getting the attention that i thought i needed so i had to turn myself into a very keen observer and my sister is like that as well So there's something in, I think, the way we were raised that turned us this way. But I wouldn't write these books if I don't believe it's something you can learn. So because I'm interested in other people, probably for means of protection and defense, so maybe started from something maybe slightly negative. I spent many years observing right and when you observe and you spend years doing it it becomes a skill It's like I can sense people's energy Really quickly now, you know, I have a feel for who they are I can tell from their body like the things you can't even verbalize because I've been doing it for so long so my point in the book is is
you know you may be 30 years old or 40 you know it's never too late to start because a human being has these innate incredible innate powers they call it theory of mind the ability that we can put ourselves in the shoes of another person and imagine what they're thinking and they've demonstrated that infants at the age of six months old demonstrate that they have this theory of mind no other animal comes close to that although they say maybe dolphins at some point but
How can we improve our observational skills?
So you have that, you the listener out there, you have that potential, you have those built-in tools to use. It's just a matter of using them. So getting out in more social situations, getting away from your stupid phone and going out in public and dealing with people and looking at them and observing them and going through exercises that I have in the book is slowly you'll get better at it. And it's actually a lot of fun. You spend $20 to go to a movie to get inside the world of somebody else. And it's so exciting. Oh, the psycho killer, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Other people in your daily life have their stories, have their myths, have their own fantasies.
What is the 'theory of mind' and why is it important?
It's just as exciting to try and get into their world as it is to get inside Silence of the Lambs or whatever movie you want to watch. So it's something you can learn. It's not just you're either born that way or you're doomed to not having this power. Right. I mean, I guess what I was saying that you already had a natural inclination and interest, right? So it starts with a kernel of interest and curiosity and maybe you were naturally better at it than some. But I think what you're saying, and I tend to agree, is that anything you put attention to, you can get better at. Right.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
Are empathy and observational skills innate or learned?
1:01–1:40
2
What influences our ability to empathize?
1:40–3:14
3
How can we improve our observational skills?
3:14–3:54
4
What is the 'theory of mind' and why is it important?
3:54–4:29
5
How can social interactions enhance empathy?
4:29–4:51
6
What role does self-awareness play in empathy?
4:51–9:23
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