Tearing Down Cement Walls of Shame with Ron Capalbo
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What is the purpose of this episode and who is the guest?
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Welcome to Hacking Your ADHD. I'm your host, William Kerb, and I have ADHD. On this podcast, I dig into the tools, tactics, and best practices to help you work with your ADHD brain. Hey team, today I'm sitting down with Ron Capalbo, known to many as ADHD Ron, on the socials. I've gotten to know Ron at a number of ADHD conferences recently and had a great time at Neurodiversion talking with him about Dungeon Crawler Carl, and I figured it was about time to have him on the pod. Ron is an AACC certified coach through the ADD Coach Academy, who specializes in strength-based development and helping adults navigate the messy shame cycle that often accompanies an ADHD diagnosis. He's spent years building a community focused on honoring unique brain chromacy rather than fighting a losing battle against it.
In today's episode, we explore the why behind our perfectionism and how the fear of complacency often keeps us from being proud of our progress. Ron breaks down how to identify your brain's unique operating system, the value of the elevator pitch for self-confidence, and why hitting a seven when you started out as a two is actually a massive win, even if your brain is trying to convince you it's a failure. If you'd like to follow along on the show notes page, you can find that at hackingyouradh.com slash two nine seven. Alright, keep on listening to find out how to stop shaming yourself for shaming yourself. I mean, I think that's what we can really talk about today, what we're good at and what we're bad at. 'Cause I mean, you have your you were as we were talking before, like the self-confidence and that kind of thing.
And that's I think an aspect of both talking about what we're good at and what we're bad at.
It's really hard because I think like there's something that you're good at, but there's always that yeah, but I we also we struggle to kind of talk positive about ourselves. So you're gonna hear someone say things like, you know, Oh yeah, I'm good at sports, but I am not good enough to do this, or I'm not good enough to play at this level, or I'm not good enough to do that. And there's all these caveats and we always remember those and that kind of like keeps us from just being freaking proud of ourselves.
Yeah. Um and I think there's this like uh mess uh with like perfectionism coming into um especially if we're like working on perfectionism where we're like, Oh, I know I have this perfectionism issue, but I don't want to like so how do I like choose what
what's what what level I do things. It's it's so hard. And then it comes back down to the thing of like why we're so frozen too. Like you've you've heard the sayings of, you know, an ADHD is like, you know, just get it done kind of thing. And we're supposed to just find a way to get a C at something and that's how we continue. But in our heads it's like, no, that's not good enough. And I'm worried I'm not gonna do this good enough. So I'm just not gonna do it at all.
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
What is the purpose of this episode and who is the guest?
0:00–6:09
2
How does perfectionism and fear of complacency keep us from celebrating progress?
6:09–12:38
3
What is the 2‑versus‑9 expectation scale and how can it break the brain’s frozen state?
12:38–18:38
4
Why does giving yourself credit matter and how does “saving” progress prevent cement‑wall shutdowns?
18:38–24:40
5
How can a simple mental hug or grace period shorten the duration of self‑shame after a setback?
24:40–30:08
6
What role does an elevator pitch play in building self‑confidence for adults with ADHD?
30:08–35:38
7
How can naming and processing emotions improve self‑esteem and reduce shame cycles?
35:38–41:33
8
What are the final actionable tips for turning small wins into lasting confidence?
41:33–48:15
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from Hacking Your ADHD
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Putting the Hyper in Hypersensitive (Rebroadcast)
Important But Not Urgent (Rebroadcast)
Research Recap with Skye: Hay Fever and ADHD
Beyond the Labels: Queerness and ADHD Unpacked with Rachel Scanlon (Rebroadcast)
Getting Focused with Shane Thrapp (Rebroadcast)