The Wild History of Futbol, Lionel Messi is a squeak | History Hyenas

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History Hyenas with Chris Distefano and Yannis Pappas 1h 7m 3 speakers 5 chapters transcribed 2 months ago
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Chris Distefano 0:00
Guys, we got a great episode coming at you all about the history of the World Cup and soccer. Come see me this weekend, July 10th and 11th, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Helium Comedy Club, and then August 21st, 22nd, Portland, Maine, Empire Comedy Club, christycomedy.com for tickies. See me in East Hampton this weekend, July 10th.
Yannis Pappas 0:17
See me in New Brunswick, New Jersey, July 17th and 18th. See me in Philly, August 14th and 15th. And Austin, August 21st through the 23rd. GiannisPappasComedy.com for tickets. Patreon.com slash History Hyenas for our weekly bonus episodes. Go check them out right now.
Chris Distefano 1:07
Guys, what's up? Welcome to another episode of History Hyenas. I'm Chris DiStefano, a.k.a. Chris the Goalkeeper. With me, as always, is Giannis Pappas, a.k.a. Gianni Nogel.
Yannis Pappas 1:18
Gianni, pretty good chance you're going to see me in one of these true classic shirts.
Chris Distefano 1:22
It's what it is. Listen to me. We're off the beam and out of the program. I've gotten a handjob from a woman at West Garden. Giannis has heaven 17 slices of pizza. None of that is true. We're not on the Patreon.
Yannis Pappas 1:36
None of it's true. None of it is actually true. But you say it and then you get in trouble and then we gotta erase episodes.
Chris Distefano 1:46
Yeah, I'm sorry. We met Jesse... We constantly, lately, the last three weeks, we have been making Jesse edit episodes. He's had to take time away from his clay studio to edit episodes. And you're right, Yanni. Let's stay on the beam and within the lines today on this episode. But I'm in a good mood. I'm on two ketone IQs. I'm excited because today, you know, in real time, the United States men are going to be playing at 8 p.m. But we're also going to watch Portugal versus Spain, which starts here in an hour or two. And that's good because I don't even need a Bluetooth. When I'm watching that, because they got hot guys.
Yannis Pappas 2:19
Yeah, they got Ronaldo. They got Ronaldo. Cute kid. But did you ever see what Ronaldo looked like before he got rich? Not cute. He was banged up. Because he's the male Kardashian. Yeah. He looked banged up, got a little money, and then he got a new head.
Chris Distefano 2:36
That's what it is. I mean, the kid's a hell of a player, and he's a hottie with a body. Kid got beautiful teeth. Yeah. Now, Kaj, we're into the World Cup. We're into it. Like most Americans, we're into the World Cup. We're into soccer big for a month. We're into football. We're into football for a month.
Yannis Pappas 2:54
I don't think there's a problem with us also calling it football. Just because we have American football, we can just pronounce it foothball.
Chris Distefano 3:02
We're getting foothball. So we're going to talk about football today. We're going to talk about the origins of the World Cup. We're going to talk about, how about this? Ask me this right now, and I swear to God, I swear on Derek Jeter, I can do this off the top of my head. Nick, correct me if I'm wrong, because Nick is our soccer expert. How many countries have won the World Cup? I know that Italy's done it five times. Four times. I know Italy's done four. How many different countries have won the World Cup?
Yannis Pappas 3:29
Shh.
Unknown 3:31
Five.
Chris Distefano 3:32
Eight countries have won the World Cup in 100 years. That's not a lot of countries. Do you know the countries? See if you can name them all. I know Italy's got four. Italy's one.
Yannis Pappas 3:41
Go, Italy. I know the Germans got four. Check. I know the Brazilians got five. Check. I know Argentina's got one. No, they got three. They got three. Check. I know the United States women got a few, baby. I love you, broads, even though you're...
Chris Distefano 3:59
Yeah, we're not talking about chicks. So we got four. So give me the other four. I know Uruguay won the first one. Five. That's a tough one that most people don't get. Come on, let's go. Ooh, baby. Who are the last three? Ooh, baby. We got Italy, Uruguay, Germany. You said Argentina. Netherlands got one. Netherlands don't got one, guys. They don't got... You can't win a World Cup in wooden shoes. I know England's got... One. England's got one in 1966, so right now we have six. You need two more. I need two more, baby.
Unknown 4:31
Give me a Mexico.
Chris Distefano 4:34
Mexico does not have enough.
Unknown 4:37
Give me a, give me a, give me a, give me a. Come on, there's a big one that you're forgetting.

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