Shitting Pants, Divorces & FLDS Cults
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What funny wedgie stories did the hosts share at the start of the episode?
Why can't you just have a gay dog? It's my favorite saying. When Butch was a puppy, he loved the color pink. And my mom called him gay. I was like, Why would you say that?
Fifteen years ago that wasn't socially acceptable to have a gay dog.
Oh, we're circling back to
analogue,
am I right? That's party.
Hello and welcome to this week's episode of Honestly Smartless. I'm Chelsea Toronto. And I'm Doctor Lindsay. And welcome.
Each week we are just two dumb girls chit chatting away. Sometimes we're smart. Oh, it's hilarious. And last week we started off with a listener email about the girl on the date given a wedgie. I haven't qu heard of she went on another date with him. She was just like, Oh my gosh, that was hilarious that you guys talked about it. And like, yeah, it was talking about wedgies. We have received various wedgie videos of
I love audience participation.
I love it so much. And We have so many DMs. Can you guys give each other wedgies? Can I send you a video of me giving myself a wedgie? I'm okay. We're gonna have to post this later because you guys are creative. Damn, it's not just like a boop, like a quick, it's over the head. It's hanging in a tree. It is hanging from a door. People are actively doing this? Yes. And they're sending us the videos of their wedgies. I'm so thrilled. So many people listen. Holy sh. Shit. Okay, let's do a wedgie series. Yeah, we will.
So bring on the wedge, send them over. I get wedgies when I wear pajamas that are too tight. Yeah. Now are the wedge is only on the back side? Yes.
Oh, I get those all the time.
Oh, well yeah, if it's too tight, like it rides up. Well camel target. So many jeans I can't wear because it slices my lips right in half. That's why it's nice to have a no torso. My lips are intact. Really? Yeah, my jeans never really ride up.
Maybe your jeans aren't tight enough. Mine are so tight. Well certain genes. Like the size twenty three.
It was too
small for me to be wearing in the first place. I got no business wearing those jeans.
That's why those are standing jeans. They're not
jeans.
Did you know that it there are certain pants? You can't really sit down. That's why I didn't wear my new white jeans that are kind of tight because I thought on Friday night I was gonna be sitting. No, I stood the entire time. Oh no kidding. Yeah. I didn't know that. I know. And my feet hurt because I was wearing heels the whole time. Oh. Yeah, I
was
like,
Da
god.
Damn it, I really underestimated what we'd be doing. Yeah, I know. Sometimes you need like a memo. Like what what is my night and tale? Let me ask you this. The person that you went out with, was she wearing heels? She sure was. Yeah. You could be wearing sneakers with that.
Oh, hell no. Okay. So this week our listener email. Um, is not like typically what we talk about 'cause we don't really do like bathroom humor. Let's go. Okay. Here's what we have. I had a roommate freshman year who was always a little weird and would leap her clothes all over the place. Notice she only wore one pair of granny panties. And one night she got really drunk and she shit herself. Uh huh. She tried to flush the granny panties down the toilet and it got clogged up and it was in the dorm bathroom and the so like the entire floor knew it. She tried to to flush her granny panties down the toilet.
Did she flood the dorm floor?
No, but they had to call the maintenance man.
The engineer. Okay. Oh, one time I shit my pants real bad. Oh no. So I was getting ready for my wedding. I was starting every by running like three and a half miles. Of course. Post wedding I was running and it was a long run. It was like ten miles maybe. Oof. It's far. So I went out the night before. But sometimes a post drinking Bathroom experience. Oh yeah. Let's be honest. We're gonna go to the bathroom the next day.
Oh yeah. You'll be shitting
your pants the next day. I'm on a run. Oh. And I shit my pants. And I mean like a blowout. I take my Underpants off and lay them. I remember being in the bushes for a minute. And then I had to run home. Oh, I was so embarrassed. And then like hose myself here, like covered in shit.
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Chapters
6 chapters
1
What funny wedgie stories did the hosts share at the start of the episode?
0:00–9:40
2
How did Chelsea describe her ‘shitting your pants’ experience before her wedding?
9:40–22:13
3
What happened to the secret wedding that turned into a same‑week divorce?
22:13–29:10
4
How are the hosts planning to smuggle mushroom capsules to Vegas?
29:10–37:02
5
Why do the hosts think red‑light therapy is a scam?
37:02–44:14
6
What is the 3‑page inheritance list and how are they handling the estate sale?
44:14–48:33