Send us a text“Small t” and “big T” are common trauma terms meant to validate, but they can also trigger comparison, minimisation, or shame. In this episode, you’ll learn what these labels usually mean, why they sometimes backfire, and how to replace ranking with a more compassionate, nervous-system-based framework. You’ll also get a simple reframe list (cumulative, relational, chronic vs single-incident, acute) and a short grounding practice to help your system step out of comparison and back into the present.In this episode, you’ll learnWhat people typically mean by big T and small t traumaWhy the “missing middle” matters (quiet, chronic, relational stress that still shapes the nervous system)How comparison keeps people stuck: “It wasn’t bad enough” vs “I’m permanently damaged”A clearer alternative to ranking: impact + support + recoveryPolyvagal-informed understanding of why the nervous system doesn’t rank events “on paper”A short, safe-for-most grounding practice focused on validation and present-moment safetyGentle remindersTrauma isn’t a competition, and you don’t need to justify your pain to deserve support.If you feel activated or numb while listening, that’s a nervous system response; pause anytime.Check the website for free resources available to both those affected by trauma and those supporting them.What’s nextNext episode: Before Words: Understanding Preverbal Trauma We’ll explore how the body can carry trauma from experiences that happened before you had language and how to work with it gently.Support the show💡 If today’s episode touched you, please share it with someone who might need it. 🤝 Become a supporter of the show! Starting at $3/month & leave a review. Stay Connected 🌐 Visit nathaliehimmelrich.com 💌 Subscribe to the newsletter for resources and updates 🎧 Never miss an episode—follow the podcast! 💛 Socials Instagram Facebook Find Support Resources 💜 For Grievers – Resourceshttps://nathaliehimmelrich.com/grievers-support/ 💜 For Supporters – Supporting someone https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/supporters-resources/ 💜 Books – Explore books on grief and healing https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/books/ 💜 Support – Offers - free and paid https://nathaliehimmelrich.com/free-resources/

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.

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