5 Flirting Moments that Broke My Brain (and Rewired What I Thought Was Possible)
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What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
I texted her, hey, I just wanted you to know that you had a good time last night and you want to see me again.
welcome back to the how to get a girlfriend podcast i'm your host dating coach connell barrett i'm here to help you flirt and connect with women in a really authentic way without having to use sketchy weird pickup artist moves because mom was right women like you for you and your dream girl will like you for you let's have some fun today i want to i want to tell you about five flirting moments that broke my brain these are moments when i saw what's possible with women and flirting and connecting. These are moments that made me say, wait, what? That's possible? Before I go into the five brain-breaking flirting moments, first I want to give you a little background on me. If you don't know me well or if you're listening to this for the first time, I came from a really low place with women.
I was not good with women. I'm naturally introverted. I went to an all boys high school. I barely dated in college. In my 20s, I had one girlfriend and I settled for her. And she settled for me, by the way. It was a mutual settling. And I didn't think I could find anybody else who wanted to be with me.
How did Connell go from dateless introvert to confident flirting coach?
So we got married. And that ended very briefly thereafter, only nine weeks later. Because I was making dating choices from a place of scarcity. And I was pretty much dateless into my early mid-30s. And that's when I said, okay, I've got to figure out my dating life. I've got to figure out why am I that guy who's always in the friend zone? Why am I that guy who struggles? So I came from a really low place, a place of self-doubt, a place of loneliness and feeling like, you know what? I'm just not that guy women like. I'm the guy a girl's a friend with, but then she wants to date or hook up with the cooler, more outgoing guy. So it wasn't until after I went on this five, basically a five-year journey of hiring coaches and taking a lot of action that I figured things out.
So these five stories are, mile posts during that five or six year stretch before I became a dating coach while I was learning to get really good at flirting and dating. And so, yeah, there are five moments that made me go, wait a minute, maybe dating and flirting and connecting with women isn't what I thought it was. So here we go. Five brain breaking moments. in flirting and connecting with women and stick around to the second to last one. The story with Natalie, I think is going to really blow your mind because something happened on a first date that I thought was literally impossible. So we'll teaser there. Let's start with the first story. So I'm in London and I was there working with a dating guru who worked out of London at the time, East end of London.
And I had just begun approaching women. I was still nervous and unsure about how to do it. I'd had some success, but not very much. And so I'm in London and my coach says, who went by the name of Ozzy. I think that's his real name actually. And Ozzy said, okay, go approach that couple over there. We're in a club, in a bar in the East end of London. And I see a really pretty blonde talking to a bloke. And their fingers are intertwined. They're making googly eyes at each other. And they're clearly a couple. And he said, go approach them. And I said, what are you talking about? Why would I approach them? And he said, eh, give it a shot. Why not? He didn't mean go hit on her. He just meant be social and go talk to people.
So I approached. By the way, no pressure. I felt no pressure counterintuitively, even though I was approaching a couple who were all into each other. In a way, that took all the pressure off because there was nothing at stake. So I walk over. I say, hey, guys, what's up? How's your night going? Or something generic like that. And the craziest thing happened. He got really nervous, this guy. He pulled his hands away from her and he started to get a little bit nervous and talking quickly. Hey, what's up, mate? How you doing? Oh, where are you from? You don't sound like you're from here.
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Chapters
4 chapters
1
What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
0:00–1:34
2
How did Connell go from dateless introvert to confident flirting coach?
1:34–13:06
3
What happened when Connell approached a ‘couple’ at a London club?
13:06–37:40
4
How did cheeky authenticity lead to three first-date makeouts in a week?
37:40–43:06
Speakers
1 identifiedMore from How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
7 Texting Mistakes that Make Women Flake Before the First Date (and 7 Easy Fixes)
8 Flirty Things to Say (and Not to Say) When You Freeze Up Around Women
The 10 Most Surprisingly Sexy Things to Say on a First Date
The 7 Lies that Keep You From Approaching—and 7 Tips to Confidently Talk to Women Anywhere
The 10 Texting Commandments: How to Stop Getting Ghosted and Start Getting Dates
21 Flirty Ways to Make Her Feel Authentic Attraction (How to Escape the Friend Zone, Part 2)