How to Get a Girlfriend with Connell Barrett
Stuck in Your Head at the Bars? How to Confidently Approach and Talk to Women—Even if You’re Shy (Live Coaching with Eric!)
Wed, 11 Dec 2024
Are you shy? Do you want to approach attractive women at bars, but you freeze up, unsure of what to say? So you stand there and do nothing, while outgoing guys chat up the women you wish you could meet. You’re not alone. For shy guys, starting a conversation can feel impossible. In this live-coaching episode of “How to Get a Girlfriend,” dating coach Connell Barrett helps his introverted client Eric get out of his head and confidently talk to women in bars. Discover proven techniques to start conversations, dodge awkward silences, and become the guy others watch approaching—and charming—wonderful women.Here are some highlights from Eric’s coaching session with Connell:6:45—How to Talk with Women Authentically—Not Like Some Weird Pickup Artist10:50—Connell’s Go-To Icebreaker for Approaching ANY Woman11:30—The “Karaoke Opener,” Which Gives Shy Guys Instant Charismas19:10—The Wrong Way to Approach Women (Never, Ever Say This!)29:00—How to Be Bold, Not Timid, in Your Approaches31:23—The One Word That Instantly Sparks Attraction39:30—What Women REALLY Find Creepy (It’s Not What You Think!)46:20—3 Playful Ways to Start Conversations that Lead to Numbers52:01—The Word Every Woman Wants to Hear when You First Meet Her1:03:08—Learn the “Push-Pull,” the Flirting Move to Keep You Out of the Friend Zone1:09:02—How to Text Her and Get Dates (and Not Get Ghosted)1:12:17—The 2 Kinds of Photos You Need on Your Dating Profile to Get Good Matches1:20:00—Why Women LOVE “Interview Mode”… When You Do it Connell’s WayAre you ready to get out of your head in bars and get into some flirty conversations? Hit play and take one step closer to finding your dream girlfriend.FOR A FREE STRATEGY CALL WITH CONNELL TO LEARN HOW TO HAVE GREAT FIRST DATES:http://www.datingtransformation.com/contactTO GET FREE ACCESS TO “THE FLIRTY 30,” CHARMING QUESTIONS TO ASK WOMEN ON DATES, ON THE APPS, AND WHEN YOU APPROACH:http://www.datingtransformation.com/FLIRTY30WANT A FREE COPY OF CONNELL’S NO. 1 AMAZON BESTSELLING BOOK, “DATING SUCKS BUT YOU DON’T”? EMAIL CONNELL AND WRITE “FREE BOOK” IN THE SUBJECT LINE AND YOU’LL GET IT INSTANTLY:[email protected]
Chapter 1: What challenges do shy men face when approaching women?
Today is an episode for you if you ever get tongue-tied when wanting to approach a woman, especially in a bar or club. You're just not sure what to say. You get in your head. Or maybe you do occasionally talk to women, but you just can't keep the conversation going. And that's really frustrating. And that's what my client, Eric, came to me battling. So you're going to meet Eric today.
This is our very first coaching session that we are doing. He came to me with a very specific challenge, getting in his head, struggling with approaching, and struggling just to keep the conversation going. So we're mainly going to be talking about that. And Eric is a really common case. He's a biologist, or rather he's studying biology. He's in his mid-20s. He's a grad student in biology.
Chapter 2: What are effective icebreakers for starting conversations?
And a lot of men, maybe you, have logical analytical jobs, like grad school, engineering, software developing, finance. And in this case, biology, science. So if you struggle with science, if you struggle with flirting with women and what to say, a lot of it is because you can be overly logical and not create that fun, playful vibe that women like. So listen to today's episode.
I have so many great tips that I shared with Eric. I think a couple little moments you want to go to. At the 17 minute mark, roughly 17 minute mark, I talk about the wrong way to approach women. And then, oh, this is great. There's a really good story at the 39 minute mark where I talk about the truth about what women really find creepy with men who approach them.
Basically, it's not what you think. The thing that you think is creepy is actually not creepy at all. And something that you might not know is creepy is super creepy. So that's at about 39 minutes in. So enjoy this coaching session with Eric. Here we go. Eric, what's up, man? How's your day? Good to hear from you. I'm well. Let's get to some coaching. What is top of mind for you today?
Chapter 3: How can men avoid coming off as creepy?
How can I help you, bro?
Chapter 4: What is the 'karaoke opener' and how can it help shy guys?
um i guess just talking to potential dates and then in a um in a in a live setting you know like in um at a bar or something is something that i i tend to struggle with i guess if you can help me out with that um you know whoever's listening yeah also on top of that
Tell me a little bit about specifically what you're struggling with. And if you have a story, an anecdote from the recent past about a time you wanted to talk and didn't or couldn't keep the conversation going, feel free to elaborate.
Yeah, I mean, the past couple of times I've gone to this one club near where I live, it's just like, it was decently loud. It was crowded. I'm not too used to clubs, but it was like, Like I, I would go up to a woman and I'd like, I'd like, I'd say like, Hey, is this your first time? Or so something like that. And you know, like, cause like they were at like a Thursday events, right?
So it's like, Hey, is this your first time at a Thursday event? They're like, yeah. I'd be like, hi, I'm I'm blah, blah, blah. And they're like, oh, you know, and I'd say, ask the usual, like, what do you, what do you do? Who do you talk to? That, that type of thing. I'm sorry. What do you, what?
your friends that kind of thing um and uh but then after that it's kind of it's kind of a struggle to keep going and you know the questions like you know what do you do for work that that type of thing what do you do for fun they're a little they're a little boring i don't even like asking them so i feel like even then my heart's not all my heart's not all there so it can be a little boring and like i guess maybe like the momentum stops and like i feel like
it's kind of something where it's like, well, well, it was good talking to you, you know?
Okay. So that's a pattern you've seen. Yeah. Yeah. That's the pattern. Got it. Let's go back to one of these examples. Think back to the last time this happened. You saw her, you walked up and you basically, it sounds like you asked a lot of questions, right?
Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What is the importance of authenticity in dating?
And you started with, Oh, is this your first time here?
Yeah.
Did you really care that much if it was her first time?
Um, that's a good question. Um, probably not. I mean, I wouldn't outside, outside of, um, let me ask you this, you know, you know, Wonder Woman, right?
Yeah. Are you a comic book guy? Marvel guy? Not particularly. Okay, but you know about Wonder Woman and her lasso of truth. Oh, yes, of course. She puts the lasso around you, and if Wonder Woman's lasso is around you, you must tell the truth. I would love Wonder Woman to tie me up, is what I'm saying.
But let's say that I had, let's say, go back in time to that approach you just described at that club. By the way, this woman, just to paint a picture for me, what did she look like? What was she wearing?
Um, she was wearing a dress. She had like shoulder length, blonde hair. Okay. She was a little, a little shorter than me, maybe five, five, that kind of thing.
Okay, cool. And she's at a cool club in California where you live. Yeah. Got it. Okay, so if I had Wonder Woman's rope, if I was with you in field helping you approach women like I do with my clients here in New York City, if I threw that Wonder Woman rope around you and I said to you, Eric, now you have to tell the truth about... any question that's asked you, you must speak the truth.
If I said to you, what's the deepest, truest thing you're thinking and feeling about that woman? What would the answer be?
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Chapter 6: How can humor be used to break the ice with women?
Chapter 7: What does it mean to bring value in conversations?
Chapter 8: How to transition from a conversation to asking for a date?
Yeah.
And you started with, Oh, is this your first time here?
Yeah.
Did you really care that much if it was her first time?
Um, that's a good question. Um, probably not. I mean, I wouldn't outside, outside of, um, let me ask you this, you know, you know, Wonder Woman, right?
Yeah. Are you a comic book guy? Marvel guy? Not particularly. Okay, but you know about Wonder Woman and her lasso of truth. Oh, yes, of course. She puts the lasso around you, and if Wonder Woman's lasso is around you, you must tell the truth. I would love Wonder Woman to tie me up, is what I'm saying.
But let's say that I had, let's say, go back in time to that approach you just described at that club. By the way, this woman, just to paint a picture for me, what did she look like? What was she wearing?
Um, she was wearing a dress. She had like shoulder length, blonde hair. Okay. She was a little, a little shorter than me, maybe five, five, that kind of thing.
Okay, cool. And she's at a cool club in California where you live. Yeah. Got it. Okay, so if I had Wonder Woman's rope, if I was with you in field helping you approach women like I do with my clients here in New York City, if I threw that Wonder Woman rope around you and I said to you, Eric, now you have to tell the truth about... any question that's asked you, you must speak the truth.
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