Chapter 1: Why is butt play considered taboo?
This podcast is for adults only. If the word but makes you clench, you might feel a few things during this episode. Stay with us. We'll be gentle. Before we go into this episode any further today, I would like to ask everyone to stay calm and use plenty of lube.
Excellent advice. And if you're curious about lube or butt play toys or any toys in general, then head to Wild Secrets.
It's a very great place to start safely. Wildsecrets.co.nz and you can get 20% off if you use our code HAVESEX.
And you'll get your pleasure delivered to your front door.
Carefully, respectfully, and preferably with instructions. Hello, welcome back to How To Have Sex. I'm JJ Feeney and I'm sitting very uncomfortably next to Melissa Branges.
And I've got a lot of butt plugs sitting in front of me.
This is why I'm dreading this episode. I'm a bit nervous you're going to pull those out and want me to use them.
Your sphincter be tight. But before we go into that conversation, we need to do a little bit of admin. Last week's pleasure practice was about touching for pleasure with the focus of pleasure. So whether you were having a shower or you were with somebody, I invited you all to touch without the goal of orgasm. So JJ, how did your... How did your practice go?
Oh, God. I hate talking about this stuff. Look. Did you do it? Yes. Yes. I did it. I did it. I just feel really uncomfortable talking about it. I don't know why. It just feels like so... Like, what's the word? I just feel so exposed. I don't know. Really vulnerable.
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Chapter 2: What is the male G-spot and how can it enhance pleasure?
Okay. So, yes. Yes. There was a lot of touching and stroking. A lot of touching and stroking and just feeling in the moment and stuff. And you're right, it does build something. And then it just built this big mansion and we burned it down. So, on to today's episode. Okay, well I'm happy to hear that. Okay, great. So today, how to butt play. How to butt play.
How to butt play without making it weird or scary or a trip to the A&E.
Which, by the way, guys, happens a lot. Yeah. It happens a lot. Well, I mean... People get things stuck up their hoo-hahs.
Yes. Well, we're not... Yeah.
But rule number one, always have a base. Everything that I've got in front of me, except for anal beads. So those of you who are listening, I've got a glass butt plug. Everything has a base to it. So you can pull it out. Everything has a base because unlike... The vagina, the cervix stops anything going beyond that. Right. So we're not going to get things lost up in our uterus or our womb.
But in the anus, nothing's stopping that. So you put something without a base out there, sayonara, that thing's off to Puerto Rico. Oh.
Oh, this is why you only hear stories about weird objects being stuck up people's bums. Like lighters. Yeah. Okay, but you never hear a story about someone having a sex toy stuck up their bum.
Unless it's the wrong sex toy. So even this doesn't have a base, but it's got like a, so I'm holding up anal beads. And I've got one, two, three, four, five, six, like 10 little beads that go from large to small. And then it's got a little ring that you hold on to. And even then, these act like a little base. I mean, you know, as it gets bigger, it's still holding there.
Like your anus kind of stops that. But anyway, rule number one with butt play.
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Chapter 3: How can women achieve orgasms through anal stimulation?
Is it porn? Is it a fear of being judged? Why does it feel so taboo to talk about anal sex?
So before we begin this, by the way, so many people are curious about butt play. I always get DMs from people saying, hey, I want to try it for the first time or I want to do this with my partner or like more than you know, a lot of people are curious about butt play. So let's just normalize it that if you're like, I've always wanted to try that, but I don't know.
Don't judge yourself for it because there's like a million other people out there who are also thinking the same. So first thing, cultural, like cultural shame that we have around the butt is it's dirty, it's gross, you don't go there. Depending on like your culture, it could be seen as like completely forbidden. And it's just like that's not an area that we touch in the body.
Yeah, I think there's a big bit around society as well that if you do enjoy butt play, it means something about your femininity, your masculinity, your sexual orientation. Unfortunately, we live in a homophobic society. So there's like these labels that we put on enjoying butt play, which is so freaking limiting and unfortunate.
um and then yeah i think it's just this area that not much people talk about so we don't really know that lots of people are doing it feels it feels like you shouldn't talk about it like yeah it's naughty it's taboo right yeah and there's that fear of being judged right like people think i'm weird or they'll think i'm like really kinky if i like stuff up the butt or
It's, you know, it's just what will my partner think if I bring if I listen to this podcast and I'm like, OK, I want to try it with my partner and I bring it to my partner. It's it feels really scary to share because what are they going to think of me? They're going to think that I'm like freaky as that I'm dirty as it's just like, oh, let's start unlearning this stuff.
Right. This is just something that we've been teaching ourselves, telling ourselves or society's been saying. But actually, we're all hypocrites. Yes. Because a lot of people just love it.
They do. And there's such a lack of sex education around the butt. You know, we hear lots about G-spot orgasms and like clitoral orgasms, but we're not really talking about butt stuff. And it equally can experience and give us amazing orgasms. What? We're just not talking about that.
I know men can orgasm from their butt, right?
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Chapter 4: What are the beginner techniques for anal play?
And then another basic one is circles. So where you're really slowly going around the whole anus and maybe you almost spiral your way in to the center. So it's like a little... Yeah. You're not looking. No.
consent surprise oh yeah yeah and then you may even well hopefully you've already got consent when someone's already circling you yeah yeah exactly i mean like yeah to that point true um and then maybe if you know that you're going to be inserting something it can be really nice just to stretch it as well just like using your finger i've got nails so i would recommend using a toy or wearing gloves so if you're someone who has gel nails or acrylic nails and they're long
put gloves on or just use a toy because that's not going to feel good for anyone what about hemorrhoids okay so if someone's got hemorrhoids can you like is it the same or is it like oh yeah sorry you've got hemorrhoids we can't do but play
No, I think you still can. It depends how it feels for them. Like, you know, are they experiencing pain with the hemorrhoid? Is it more external? Is it more internal? You know, it's like you've got to do a bit of homework around that. But if you've got a hemorrhoid, you can still experience butt play.
You definitely have to be careful because if there's any tearing or anything like that, then, yeah.
Well, I mean, like we all know that the vagina is very stretchy. Yes. Flexible. Yes. How flexible is the anus?
It's not as ā like the tissue, when we're comparing vaginal canal and the anus canal, it's definitely like ā even if you think about inserting something into the anus, it's a lot tighter. There's just ā yeah, it's a lot firmer compared to the vaginal canal. But it's still got like ā
muscular tone to it right because we they're both of them are pushing something out if you have a period it's helping you know contract and release that if you're pushing out poo it's happy so i wouldn't say it's the same but it's definitely you you've got to work with them differently you can't just go in and start penetrating an anus like you would with a vagina i'm just thinking about like things like when you know you hear about someone who's had a jar stuck up
up there or a big shampoo bottle or something. How did you get it up there? How much can the anus take?
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Chapter 5: How should one prepare for anal play?
There's quite a few facials I pulled.
It's like I told her to just go do a nutty rung around the police station next door.
Oh my God, I think I'd rather do that.
Really? No, you would not. I would. Oh my gosh. Okay, this week's pleasure practice, everybody who feels a little bit curious, even like 2% curious, I want you to think about those three techniques. So the doorbell, in and out. Credit card up and down or circles and bring in blended pleasure. So get turned on in some way, shape or form first.
Don't just like get into bed at night and go, all right, time to do my pleasure practice. I'm going to credit card my ass, you know. Yep, yep. Think about creating some intentionality around it and just see how it feels. Let's just start at a beginner's level.
Later on down the podcast, maybe we'll go to a bit more advanced butt play practices, but just let's play with some of those three techniques, the doorbell, credit card, and circles. Does that feel doable?
Fantastic. I don't know. I'll let you know. No promises this week.
She's not keen.
I came in clenching and now I'm leaving. Very educated. Who knew that the most misunderstood part of your body could be wildly underappreciated? Yes. Okay, next week, where are you taking us?
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