Chapter 1: What makes oral sex a challenging topic to discuss?
Before we begin, a little word of warning. This is an R18 podcast, and today we'll be talking about oral sex. And for the record, this is not where I ever thought my career would go. Anyway, deep breath. Let's do this.
So before we get into today's very practical lesson.
Very practical and very educational. Wild Secrets has everything that you need to practice at home. Use the code HAVESEX for 20% off at wildsecrets.co.nz Consider it study materials. Pleasure delivered. Welcome back to class. Today's lesson is how to give world class head. And I just want to say this was not my idea. Talking about oral sex makes me so nervous. But you came to BJ Like a Boss.
Well, I did come to BJ Like a Boss. That's where this idea was born. And it was in a room full of my shrieking drunk girlfriends.
It was.
Who were holding giant pink dildos.
Now you're sober and I'm going to give you a giant pink dildo.
Oh, okay.
So last week I gave you some pleasure practice homework.
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Chapter 2: How can communication improve the experience of oral sex?
I thought it was hysterical for the main part. Yeah, yeah. I didn't take it seriously enough to go there and think I was going to learn anything. But I did. I learned a lot. It was amazing. So it's good that we can actually maybe bring in some of those tips today for our listeners.
Yes.
So, yeah. Where should we start? Okay.
Okay.
I said I feel awkward talking about it, because I do. I don't know why. But I'm not alone. So why do you think that people find oral sex so difficult to talk about?
I think it's quite vulnerable. For both people, you're down in face and genitals. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So it's like on the receiving end, someone is like seeing it all. The ingrown hair, the pubic hair, if you've shaved or not, the smells, the taste. It's very intimate. So I think there's a vulnerable part of it.
I also think there's a huge pressure around people just feeling like they need to do it right and they need to get somebody off really quick and really fast. Like doing it right. And yeah, I think that's a big part of it. I think it's just the intimacy of the act.
Well, I always think like, oh, I'd rather like, you know, definitely not at the end of the day. Well, after a shower at the end of the day. Yeah, if you want to do that, I'm just going to whip out to the bathroom for a minute. Yeah, yeah.
And then I think about what you said, like you don't want to get, you know, if you're sitting in there and you're focusing on getting it done real quick, that can sometimes come into jaw cramp.
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Chapter 3: What techniques can enhance the pleasure of giving head?
I mean when we first start having sex and then we're going on like we really like where do we learn how to do oral sex like we really only learn from no one yeah exactly literally no it's porn you know all of us and especially I'm going to keep coming back to BJ like a boss um
Women are learning how to give head through porn, which is hard and fast. It's... You know? And, like, I will always come back to, does it actually feel good for you? No. You know? Choking on cock, does it actually feel good for you? And a lot of women will be like, no, but that's just... And it's, like, really hard and fast. Like... That was me in my teens.
Sorry to all the shafts that I did that to. But... It's like porn has taught us harder and faster will get somebody there. And again, we're obsessed with goal-orientated sex. So we don't learn it until, and that's why I think it's been so popular.
Like thousands of people have either brought the online workshop or done a private workshop with me with their girlfriends because people were like, I want to learn how to give head, but in a way that feels good for me. Not in the way that porn has taught me.
Yeah, because, okay, I was going to ask you about that. Like, what do you think the biggest lie is that porn teaches us about oral sex?
Harder and faster. Yeah. And just, like, being a spastic around, like, whoa, I've got to, you know, all this stuff. It's like, actually, if you're intentional and you know where to touch and how to touch it, that, my friend, is world-classed.
you know when you know anatomy which is what i teach at the very start right we want to be focusing on the tip the glands the rim yeah shaft want to be focused on but don't forget the balls don't forget the balls yeah and same on evolver lots of djs are just heading up the clit going where do They'll be like, you having a good time? It's like, no, I'm in pain. What the hell?
But if men and women start to learn that the vulva, which is the whole external part of female genitalia, if we can wake it up, they're going to have a way better experience rather than just hitting the clit and swiping.
I think another lie that porn has also taught us about oral sex is that we like it in our face. That is an absolute lie, by the way, to all men listening. We probably do not actually want it in our face, but thank you anyway. Or red dragons. What's a red dragon?
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Chapter 4: How does anatomy play a role in confidence during oral sex?
If you're listening to this episode, jump onto YouTube and watch it. I'll show you some of the techniques. But that helps you actually feel more confident giving head. You know, so your partner's going, oh, would you like it if I did that to you? You know, you're watching it or listening to it together. And it's like, yeah, could we try that?
Like even where I get my hair done, I was on someone else's podcast and I said, honestly, like going down on female body, why flat tongue? Pointy tongue is for the rear or it's for inside the vagina.
right wide flat tongue and she was like that technique why her wide flat tongue yeah now do a pointy tongue yes yeah we want more surface area yes yes and she was like the whole thing it's an ice cream and she was like that technique has changed everything for me really wide flat tongue Yeah, more surface area, more stimulation, more wetness around there.
So I think when you get to learn together, it becomes less intimidating of like, you need to learn these skills too.
Do you think that we all need a lesson in biology? You know? Boring. We learn about the anatomy of the... Yes.
Because like... I think we need to learn erogenous zones and pleasure anatomy. Absolutely. I guess that's confidence. Again, when we know where to touch and how to touch it, everyone benefits from it.
Okay. Well, stop teasing me with the big pink dildo here. Let's get into it. Can we start with the blowjob techniques? Yes.
No, excuse me. We're going to start with hand job techniques.
Oh, are we? Yeah.
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Chapter 5: What are the common misconceptions about oral sex from porn?
And then we want to be focusing on the frenulum. So the frenulum is your friend. That's a little bit, if you're listening to this, that connects the foreskin to the shaft of the penis.
I'm looking at the penis right now, the dildo. And from here, it looks like Darth Vader's hat. Okay. So Darth Vader, the perineum is Darth Vader's face.
No, not the perineum, the frenulum.
Oh, the frenulum is Darth Vader's face?
Oh, I don't know.
Under the balls. So the frenium?
Frenulum. The frenulum. Is your friend.
The frenulum is Darth Vader's face. And what's this bit around here?
The corona. The coronia. Corona. Think of a corona bear.
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Chapter 6: How can one ask for what they want during oral sex?
Water-based lube. Water-based lube is great. I love water-based lube because you need to add a bit more. It's not as long-lasting as oil-based. but it definitely comes out of the sheets a lot easier. Okay, infinite penetration. So we're going down, and we're infinitely penetrating his cock. And I use quite a bit of pressure around this one.
So you start right from the very top of the penis.
Yeah.
And glide your, like, your hand is basically covering the top of the penis with your thumb.
Yep. Moving all the way down. So you can commentate this.
One hand goes down, the other hand comes down on top of it. Then the bottom hand comes up to the top and then it's like you're rotating your hands. That's why you call it the infinite penis.
Exactly. Okay, next one is the lock. So you're going to interlace your fingers and have your thumbs free. So it's almost like if you held it up, it will look like a W.
Yeah.
For those who are listening.
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Chapter 7: What techniques can be used for pleasuring a vulva effectively?
Yeah, you definitely need to see this. And by the way, don't just sit there and do the bottle opener. Don't just go fast. Let's have some meaning behind it. Do infinite penetration and then like wrap your fingers around then come back down again.
Okay.
Okay.
I think we explained that okay.
Yeah.
For sure.
Jump on. It's good to see, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Then once we've really built him up, so why cock massage is amazing is because it's going to build him up so you get to less sucking.
okay a tip for young players yeah right so you get less locked your less locked joy yeah you want to build them up so the sucking time isn't like 20 minutes yep yeah and a lot of men like uh research shows that when you are having penetrative sex that they can last average is around 2.3 minutes so think about when it's penetrating your mouth Two minutes as opposed to 15? Yeah. Cock massage.
This is a good tip.
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Chapter 8: What is the pleasure practice to focus on for the week?
In your mouth? Yep. Okay. Okay, so you can commentate as I'm doing this. Wide flat tongue. I've got hair on here.
What do you do with your hands? Are you gripping?
So I'm actually using my hand at the top of the penis, pressing against there, and then doing this.
It's like you're holding the penis to your face, basically. You're supporting the penis with your hand.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so it looks something like this. Let's do it this way.
Supporting the penis with her hand, and she's going in for the balls now.
No, so we're going to start at the base here.
Okay, she's licking the base of the penis up. the shaft to the top and she's kissing the head of the penis on both sides like a French kiss and then coming back down down with the tongue and she's still supporting with her other hand and she's and now I'm going to scoop up a ball scoop up a ball tongue goes under And it's a bit hard because this is a plastic ball, but okay.
It's like a, you suck it in.
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