Molly Graham on Founder Depression and Executive Team Dynamics

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What is the purpose of today’s HR Heretics episode and who is the guest?

Kelli Dragovich 0:03
For today's Essential Heretics 101 feature, we talked to Silicon Valley operator Molly Graham on founder depression, imposter syndrome, executive team dynamics, and building business first people operations at scaling companies. Hey everyone, welcome back to the HR Heretics Podcast.
Nolan Church 0:19
Today we're excited to bring you a conversation with Molly Graham. Molly Graham is a Silicon Valley legend. She was at Google and then early Facebook and then the ninth employee at Quip before they sold for $750 million. Molly blew our minds, and I can't wait for you guys to listen to it. Molly Graham, welcome to HR Heretics. How are you?
Molly Graham 0:40
I'm good. Thanks. Nice to see you guys.
Nolan Church 0:43
Thanks for being on. So you have maybe two of the most like viral first round articles of all time giving away your Legos and why you need to make friends with the monster chewing at your leg.

Why did Molly write the “Giving Away Your Legos” article and what does the metaphor mean?

Nolan Church 0:56
Can you give some insights into our audience as to like what drove these articles and what made you write them?
Molly Graham 1:02
I appreciate you mentioning the monster article because most people only talk about the Legos article. And they're they're both like near and dear to my heart. The Legos article was an accident. Because it's a metaphor I came up with when I was working at Google. Google was fifteen thousand people at the time, but my department was twenty-five people when I joined. I joined in communications and it grew from twenty five people to a hundred and twenty-five people in nine months. And I just noticed a pattern when people had to give things away, uh, where it created a lot of insecurity. You know, somebody new joins, you're worried they're gonna be better than you. I sort of vividly remember early on I was in the communications department at Facebook for like two months and I
Molly Graham 1:47
I had to take over the blog from someone else. We didn't even have a Facebook page at that time and the woman I was taking it over from was having a lot of trouble giving it away because she had Um She had built it from nothing. And I actually talked to her about the Legos metaphor at the time where I was just like, look, this is this is hard. This is what this feels like, but there's can be a lot of opportunity on the other side if you if you let go of things. Um and and it helped.

How does Molly describe the reality of founder depression and why is it rarely discussed?

Molly Graham 2:14
I also think what it is is that people don't talk about emotions at work all that much. Like they don't talk. We talk a lot about how to scale, we talk a lot about Um, how to manage. We talk a lot about how to lead, but we don't talk about how hard it is and how emotional it is and how scary it is. And the fact that, you know, every day you wake up and you're like, you know, everyone around me is better than me and who even gave me this job in the first place. And I really I always say like, I think the Legos article just says like, Don't worry, it's all gonna be okay. And that's why people like it so much. And then the monster article is the same thing, maybe just a little deeper. I was raised on the Muppets, so I think that's why he's a monster.
Molly Graham 2:50
Um I always think he's like animal or something like that, you know. But um, you know, it became my metaphor for all these emotions that you have uh when you're going through these complex experiences building a company. Um, and it helped me to externalize it.

What does the “emptiness of startups” feel like and how does it affect founders?

Molly Graham 3:07
Um, and that's how I came up with Bob, my monster. He's just the external manifestation of all the emotions I that I call them monster attacks. So, like you're having a bad day and somebody's being a jerk and you wanna write the rage email. Like, I always say, That's Bob. That's my monster's name is Bob. I tell people they can name their monster whatever they want. It helped me to externalize it, it helped me to like sort of manifest it in a picture. And then once that article came out, Somebody actually told me it's a literal tool that psychologists use to help people manage anxiety and I was like, Oh great. It turns out it's actually helpful. So yeah. You are at like the
Kelli Dragovich 3:39
the beginning of the corny the imposter syndrome, right? Like wave. I I do have a question about that 'cause that was a while back and I feel like

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