"What am I making this mean?" That question might change how you move through conflict with your partner. Because the real work isn't making your partner wrong…it's getting curious about yourself.I wanted to talk about what makes relationships tricky and what makes them actually work, and in this episode, I share my own story; how I went from completely collapsing whenever Mike got upset, to finally learning how to hold my centre. How we survived the brutal early parenting years when we were both drowning and how post-traumatic stress cracked me open and forced me to do the real work. Over many years of working with families, I have learned that you can't make your partner do the work. All you can do is do your own, and trust that something shifts when you stop waiting for them to change and start looking at what's yours to heal.I explore:Why we unconsciously choose partners who mirror our childhood woundsHow attachment styles (anxious, avoidant, disorganised, secure) show up in your intimate relationshipThe power of asking "what am I making this mean?" when you're triggeredWhat it feels like when your childhood wounds meet your partner's defencesThe three paths your relationship can take when one person is doing the work and the other isn'tHow coming home to yourself is the greatest gift you can give your relationship and your kidsI keep coming back to the people in relationships right now who are absolutely exhausted. Those who are doing the work, holding the space, trying to communicate better. And I want to say this… the fact that you're asking "what's here for me?" instead of "what's wrong with them?" means you're already transforming your relationship. Maybe not with your partner yet, but definitely with yourself.[Recorded Online November 2025]About Lael Stone:Lael Stone is an educator, counsellor, and author of Own Your Story: Understanding your past to create your future. With over 20 years of experience working with families, Lael helps people understand how their childhood imprints shape their adult lives – and how to do something about it.Connect with Lael:Instagram: @laelstoneWebsite: laelstone.com.au—Connect with Humans, being™:Web: humansbeing.auInstagram: @humansbeingwithlaelstoneFacebook: @humansbeingwithlaelstoneTikTok: @humansbeingwithlaelstoneYouTube: @humansbeingwithlaelstoneHumans, being™ is produced on the lands of the Bunurong and Wadawurrung people. We pay respect to their unique and diverse cultures and to elders past, present and future.

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“What did the council decide on item 42?” — answered with the speaker and the moment.