Chapter 1: What cultural respect is acknowledged at the beginning of the episode?
It's a Lot is recorded on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.
It's a Lot. Nightmare fuel. It's time and Amy has a look about her. Well, I did have to preface this one for you off air. I did have to yell across the studio today, are you okay with a gross one? Yes, you did. And I said yes, but now I'm kind of fearful because I am feeling a little bit nauseous, but should we just start and see how I go? Let's just get into it.
Hey, Chookies, I have a nightmare fuel for you. This one actually doesn't involve a guy or a person. This is just about me and my fucked up traumatic nightmare of a life. I'm not sure if this is what ā I don't think this is what you normally talk about, nightmare fuel, but it fucking is nightmare fuel.
Yeah, when they go, I don't know if this is like right for this, and we go, it's fucking right. Honey, I'm hooked. Yeah, I'm in. Nightmare fuel. And this is about some of the health issues that I have had in the past and currently still have. And they're not normal health issues. Well, we have had in the past a man fuck a stoma hole. Yeah. So I think it probably will fit in pretty well.
Quite nicely. We're not afraid of health dramas. Yeah. So the first, there's three of them, by the way. The first one happened when I think I was 12. I know I was in year six. I don't know what age that was, but I was in year six. Just got back from a trip to Bali and I'm a child, obviously.
Just get back from Bali and I'm at school and I feel this sensation down there in my hoo-ha and I'm like, oh, this is weird because But kind of ignore it because what do I know in year six? Go home, wake up the next day, and both my labia has swollen and gone rock fucking hard and turned black.
Oh.
Hold on. Black. Black. Black. She's got bloody frostbite from barley somehow. She's done bloody ā what's it called? The ice?
Dry ice.
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Chapter 2: What is the nightmare fuel story shared in this episode?
So scary. Okay, that would be scary as a grown adult. That would be scary even like ā You know, if you'd had a gynecological surgery or issue, you'd go, what the fuck is wrong? Year six? Year six, 12 years old. 12 years old. You haven't had your first period maybe. No. And your labia. Well, it's like when I had my hymen taken out of me. Mmm. I've told everyone about this. Dingleberry. Yes.
Yes. Twisted around. That was black. That was inside me. I was 22 maybe. I was terrified. I was so scared. That wasn't my entire labia. That was just a thing coming out of me. This poor chook. And I know nothing. I think it's nothing until I go to school and it is so painful that I... I can't fucking walk. Like my, it felt like I had my labia turned into like rocks. It was like rock solid black.
Like it was like rotting. And so I go home from school with like tears to my mom.
Chapter 3: What health issues are discussed in relation to the nightmare fuel?
She has a look and she's like, fuck me. Take me to the hospital. Oh, yeah. Holy shit. Imagine your 12-year-old or 11-year-old little girl going, mum, I can't walk. I'm in so much pain. You go, all right, we've got a bloody ant bite. Okay, we've got an ant bite. Rock hard black labia. What the hell? Even if my sister said that, I'd go, I can't help you. I'm not sure what to do, queen.
Oh, no, I think she takes me to the doctors. Doctors have a look and are like, you need to take her to fucking hospital right now. I still don't even know what this was. It was some sort of flesh eating bacteria contracted from the hot springs in Bali. But anyway, this put me in hospital for a week.
I had male doctors at the ripe age of whatever the fuck I was in year six, male doctors looking at my coochie. Oh, my God. Which was very, very uncomfortable for me. That's, I mean, understandable. You know, doctors are doctors. You're a kid. But that does really add to the trauma.
Chapter 4: How does the narrator describe their traumatic health experience?
Yeah.
Probably the first male to see your vulva is an adult doctor, you know, like since you've been conscious as a person and it's blackened and you've got flesh-eating bacteria. That is a recipe for sexual trauma. A bit of dysfunction. Yes, not that the doctors are doing anything wrong, obviously, but from the perspective of a child. Yeah.
Oh, you'd have a, I mean, I hope she didn't, but it'd be easy to grow up with a chain around your vulva. That is the flesh-eating bacteria element of it. Speaking of, how do we feel about the hunter virus? Oh, my God. We're done for. In case I needed another reason to never go on a cruise. Babe, we're fucking done for. We're done for. I did have someone in a group chat this week say.
A little lockdown wouldn't go astray, actually. I'm going to be honest. I'm going to be honest.
I have to whisper so the Daily Mail can't hear me. I really ā I'm not hoping for it but like we know what to do now. We know what to do. Like we were adults during it.
We know because sometimes you look back and you go, don't look back in anger. Look back in joy and you go, that was fun. Mask on, feet up. Mask on, feet up. Away from rat poo and we'll be fine. Yeah. I don't know. I mean, it is horrible. It is really horrible. People have died, obviously. But I do think everyone's going, what if we go into a lockdown again? I go... I can handle it.
Well, that's kind of like the least of my worries. I don't want to get the thing. I want to be locked down. I'm hoping this time Australia goes, I guess we kind of did it last time, but we go, first day, lockdown. Don't leave your house. See you. Goodbye. Rats, you're now illegal. Let's get out of here. Anyway, we'll do a hunter virus episode if it turns into. No, we won't. I hope that it's just.
Well, they're saying that.
you die so quickly from it that it's hard for it to spread oh yeah you know because it doesn't anyway anyway look we're not we're not immune i'm not getting into it again the anti-vaxxers put your bloody pitchforks down calm the fuck down whatever happens again you're getting the vaccine no one really knew what it was like what disease it was they just said like oh you got a flesh-eating bacteria in your vagina
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Chapter 5: What challenges arise from the narrator's medical situation?
So. Right. So here's the thing. You've been through enough. Yeah. Someone has put a curse on someone in a different generation of your family and you are suffering the consequences. This is a Holes style. In more ways than one. This is a Stanley Yelnats style generational curse and you need to carry an old woman up a mountain. She's got to do something. Help her. Okay, so she's now bleeding.
So we've had the flesh-eating bacteria of the puss where she had a banana rotten labia. She's had her hymen that was too thick, had to be surgically removed. Me too, queen. And now she's bleeding out of her arsehole. See, I would go colon cancer, you know. You just immediately jumped to the worst. Yeah.
Chapter 6: How does the narrator's experience with doctors impact their trauma?
It's nothing until it continuously happens for, like, months. And I'm, like, bleeding out of my arsehole constantly every time, like, and I'm shitting, like, 15 times a day. But in my head I was like, ooh, skinny, like, snatched waist. Babe. Come on. Babe. No. And we're not doing that. No.
Fuck.
pooing and seeing pooing and seeing the blood going oh my god like what the fuck that is psycho just i feel skinny i feel skinny babe it could be colon cancer if that was me i would go colon cancer alert yeah someone call the poo doctor and get him over here yeah like also side note colon cancer is becoming more and more common in women under 35. Okay, guys? Yeah.
So we should all be checking our poos for blood and not going skinny if we see one. Okay, a bit of blood in there. But then I'm planning on going, it's like two weeks before I go to Europe for eight weeks and I was like, okay, I should probably get this checked out because I would much rather go to hospital here. If it is something, then go to a hospital in another country. Yeah.
Yeah.
So I end up going to the emergency one night just to get it sorted. And they're like, okay, yeah, this isn't normal. This isn't good. Like how long has this been happening for? And I'm like, oh, fucking months. Oh, queen. Turns out I have ulcerative colitis, which is a chronic disease. So I'm stuck with it for life. It doesn't go away. Okay.
And they had to put me on these really, really, really fucked steroids and like eight different types of medication at the start that made me gain like eight kilos within eight weeks. It was a lot. It was a lot. Anyway, then I started having asshole insecurities. Oh, my God. Because I was seeing this guy and we're like, I'm over at his and we're doing the nasty or whatever.
And he's like, is there a nice way to put it? Not really. He's fucking, he's fingering me. Right. And I feel this like sensation building.
Yeah.
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