Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?
It's a Lot is recorded on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.
It's a lot, isn't it?
Time for a Nightmare Fuel and I'm here with Emma Hardy, the author of Periodic Bitch. We did a full episode that's already out. Go to the feed to hear all about her memoir about PMDD and monsters and all things female rage, essentially. We're doing a little Nightmare Fuel together because this one is about medical... Medical access.
Yes, healthcare access.
Yes.
Right, which we thought would be a good one. So I haven't heard it. You haven't heard it, Emma.
I have no idea what's about to happen.
So we will see what this chook has to say. All right.
Hey, Abby and the team. I'm a big fan. I've been wanting to send in a nightmare for you for a while as I do have a few, maybe even one's a little too juicy for the podcast. Yeah. Sorry, this one is really long, but I think you'll love it, Abby. I was listening to the Bella Johnson episode today and I was inspired to send in a little medical journey or better known as my nightmare fuel.
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Chapter 2: What are the experiences of medical misogyny shared in this episode?
spoiler or anything but something quite severe for years and years and years there was an assumption that she had you know a mental health condition but actually it was a real life thing i don't want to i don't know is that is it is it weird to say a spoiler on someone's real life i guess not i don't know but i love what i'm dealing with with the memoir it's like i can't tell you that it's a spoiler yeah it's like i know you personally yeah
But yeah, that episode is fucking crazy. So let's see what it's inspired from this listener.
Filled with heaps of medical gaslighting and like psychosomatic pain and sorry if I'm not using the correct term, but you know what I mean. Now by no means is my experience as bad as Bella's, but I just wanted to spread more awareness and start more conversations around women's health and lack thereof adequate access. So I'm going to leave the eventual findings of my medical issues until the end.
So it's a fun little journey like it was for me. So a little backstory. I'm from a little country town in like central north New South Wales. And like the biggest or like a bigger hospital is like an hour away. And then the bigger hospitals are like Newcastle and Sydney. So this journey started when I was about like 12, 13. I was always in pain.
When I'd visit the hospital, they'd always say, no, it's just puberty, like it's just your period starting. Nothing was ever done. This is exactly what we were talking about.
Yes. And they go, no, it's just normal to be in pain.
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Chapter 3: How does Emma Hardy define Nightmare Fuel in relation to healthcare?
It's normal.
To be a woman is to suffer.
Yeah, just suffer. You'll be also at 12 and 13. A child. It's awful.
I was literally given like oxy and codeine.
What?
What the fuck? At 12.
That's crazy. What the hell? Is this America? What the hell is happening? That's psycho. Just so anyone, Oxy is essentially. An opiate. Yeah. It's essentially like heroin.
It's like a slightly lower level morphine.
Yes, that is extremely addictive and you can also overdose on it and to give that to a 12-year-old is ā that alone would be a nightmare for you, the first 20 seconds. That's fucked.
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Chapter 4: What personal medical journey does the listener share?
Ripe old age of 12, 13. And then at 14 I was put on birth control pretty quickly. This like masks the symptoms of being in pain all the time but obviously didn't fix them. And I was still in and out of hospital all the time.
Well, that's the thing. Giving her such strong pain medication then wouldn't get to the source. No. Right? It's just a Band-Aid.
Yeah. And it's just like if you want to not be in pain, be on this.
forever like what be on oxy forever as well oxy isn't even meant to be i mean from what i understand oxy's meant to be like if you have a broken bone or you've gone through major major surgery and it's just like for a short period of time if she's in this much pain and she's 12 why would they be setting her up i didn't think this would happen in australia this feels very americano you know
And then as I got a bit older, like still in and out of hospital, I was unable to do anything. I couldn't go to school, like absolutely nothing. And then one night I was in one of the bigger hospitals, so like an hour away from where I live, and a male ER doctor said, immediately told me I had an STI or chlamydia, which unless I was like the STI version of Mother Mary, this was not possible.
I've had that. When I went into the emergency room one time and I'd like buckled over in pain, my boss had to carry me to the emergency room and I was like, it could be pancreatitis, it could be, I don't know, it could be an ovarian cyst, I don't know. And the doctor just said in the emergency room, he goes, no, it's gone over here. And I go, well, I'm in a long distance relationship.
I haven't seen him for three months and I've also been tested in between because I get tested. It was like a fairly new relationship and I was getting tested so that I knew that, you know, there wasn't anything missed or because some of them take a while to show up on tests and I was like, I've been tested like three times. I don't have gonorrhea. And he goes, yeah, you do.
And he goes, all right, open your legs and then put his finger inside. Does that hurt? And I was screaming in pain. Oh, my God. But how would putting your fingers inside me help with it if you're sure it's gonorrhea? Oh, my God. Do a swab. Why the fuck did that happen?
Yeah. Why the fuck did that happen? Send that man to jail.
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Chapter 5: What challenges did the listener face in getting a proper diagnosis?
So that was actually bizarrely really good advice. Like it's horrible that she had to do that. But like do not mention your mental health stuff if you're in physical pain because they will go, you're a woman, we'll treat this, not the actual pain that you're in. And it's true sometimes you can have psychosomatic pain, but like let's not go straight there.
Yes, it shouldn't be the automatic go-to. No. But also they're saying we'll give you some Oxy, but also the fear is better. It seems like the answers for women are always just ā
And also they seem to be incapable of thinking, well, of course your mental health is bad. You're in pain every day.
Yes.
Like you're physically uncomfortable all the time. Try being happy and healthy when you're physically uncomfortable all the time.
Yes. If they, like if they found out I had any depression, they would never believe me about my stomach pain or tell me that I made it up and that it wasn't real. Anyway, that's just a little bit of it. I'm just going to carry on. So like 16, 17, still in agonizing pain, like the heaviest periods you could ever imagine, like literal murder scene in the toilet, like not even being dramatic.
So yeah, more, more hospital trips. And then one doctor, I thought I had a breakthrough. One doctor was like, oh my God, you have a kidney stone. And I was like, I have a what? So he told me at 17 years old I had a big fat kidney stone that I then had to pass. So for the next week I was freaking out that I had a kidney stone.
Anyway, saw my GP and I'm like, kind of can't believe this is happening to me. What is wrong with me? And she was like, sis, you do not have a kidney stone. You are 17 years old. You do not have a kidney stone. So she noted down, maybe it's endo, maybe it's a cis, don't really know. So she referred me to a specialist in Newcastle.
Also, this is all costing so much money. And so much time. So much time. Emotional energy, hoping for an answer, getting an answer, then being told that isn't there and getting a crazy answer. And then go, okay, I guess I have a kidney stone. Then being told, no, it can't be that. Like you don't know who to trust or who to go to.
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Chapter 6: How did the medical professionals respond to the listener's pain?
I was like, what is wrong with me? Why am I in pain? I am a little young girlie. Why am I in so much pain? Anyway, about a month passes and I'm booked in for surgery, like 100%. I'm in at six o'clock in the morning. There's no way this isn't happening. The surgery was meant to go for about like two hours, two, three hours. Anyway, I wake up like five and a half, six hours later.
And my doctor is sitting at the end of my bed. And she's like, Bianca, you have stage three endometriosis. It's like covering your bowel, covering your bladder. It's twisted your rectum. It's literally everywhere I could ever imagine. She's like, this is so much worse. She's like, you are 18 years old. I've never seen this before. I was like, okay, that's super slay.
That literally explains why I've been in agonizing pain for my whole pubescent life. It felt like my organs had been literally peeled like a potato. But I was so happy because I had answers. Anyway, my story doesn't actually stop there. So the first like two weeks after your surgery, like you're in a lot of pain.
obviously but I was bleeding so heavily like crazy heavy like murder scene heavy so I went to my little local hospital and the doctor on call I don't really want to throw any hate but I'm gonna throw some hate so awful bedside manners were not taught when he was studying to be a doctor
um so i was sent for some scans i mean obviously he cared a little bit he sent me for a scan um and then i went back and he wanted to see like inside my pants i don't know to see how much blood was in my pad or something i don't really know anyway mind you this man grabs my pants pulls them down and cups my vagina oh
What the fuck? What the fuck? And how old is she at this point? 18. That's so gross. That's so traumatising. For some unknown reason. Anyway. Why did he cup her vagina? Yeah. Her vulva. Why would you ā and why haven't you said to her this is what I need to do and why?
Yeah. Or are you comfortable with me doing that? Do you want somebody else to do that? Here's why. Here's how ā like no world. There's no world in which he needed to do that.
Yeah. That isn't even just bedside manner. That's actually ā Assault. Yeah. That feels really incredibly ā that's quite scary that's happening.
Let's throw hate at him.
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