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It's A Lot with Abbie Chatfield

NMF: He's A Runner He's A Track Star

23 Apr 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What cultural respect is acknowledged at the beginning of the episode?

0.031 - 17.296 Abbie Chatfield

It's A Lot is recorded on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.

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23.765 - 25.127 Unknown

It's a lot, isn't it?

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26.018 - 33.137 Abbie Chatfield

Hi, everyone. Nightmare Fuel time. Amy and I are excited. I always forget that you've heard them.

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33.498 - 46.907 Unknown

Sometimes I haven't heard them in a while. Because I'll go through them in big batches. I'll put aside a day and go, like, that's my Nightmare Fuel day. And then I like, I literally like I'll come downstairs and I'm like so rattled.

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47.027 - 63.754 Unknown

I've like spent four hours just like listening to stories of like people getting things left in their arses and getting stranded overseas and like just all their traumas. And then I'm like, anyway, time to make lunch. When you were in uni or whatever you did, did you ever think?

64.616 - 64.716

Yeah.

64.696 - 74.77 Unknown

This would be your job. This would be my job. Not only my job, but my highest paying job to date. This is my fucking meal ticket.

76.432 - 86.586 Abbie Chatfield

Oh, my God. I mean, you're welcome. Thank you. And, guys, keep in mind you're feeding Amy and you're also helping her, you know. It's a circular economy. It's a circular economy.

Chapter 2: What is 'Nightmare Fuel' and how is it introduced?

86.566 - 109.822 Abbie Chatfield

it's trickle down but but but keep in mind that happens via you sending in crazy nightmare fuels so keep sending them keep sending them in because god bless they're getting crazier and crazier yeah this one's quite a saga oh fuck you how long is it it's like 19 minutes okay cool so we should just i shouldn't interrupt too much yeah sit back and relax Let's close our eyes like we're at the spa.

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109.842 - 116.553 Abbie Chatfield

We should get little foot massages or something during it. Yeah, a little water feature in the background. Let's begin.

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116.613 - 118.456 Unknown

Hey, Abby, Amy and Oscar.

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119.177 - 147.086 Abbie Chatfield

Rest in peace. Love you so much, Oscar. You also are allowed to listen to this episode if you want. Have a nightmare, Fuel. So I'd just like to preface this by saying that this man's uncle is our local Liberal MP.

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147.988 - 179.893 Unknown

If I'd have been educated on politics at the time, I would have run when I found that out, but I wasn't. So let's call him Josh. We met at uni and things moved really quickly. So we moved in together very quickly. His family is very wealthy and own like a holiday house on the beach that's empty. And so we moved in there together. Must be nice.

179.913 - 197.006 Abbie Chatfield

Yes. God, I'd love that. Empty holiday house. In this economy. Oh, my God, what a dream. Oh, my God. That's the one time I would be – actually, no, I wouldn't. It doesn't say I'd be like a stay-at-home girlfriend in that situation, but actually that's the time to like lock in and get your dollars up.

197.026 - 197.828 Unknown

Hustle, literally.

197.948 - 206.1 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah, you've got no stress behind you. Go and do a creative endeavour or something, you know. I don't know, girl. Start a graphic design business. Do something crazy.

207.081 - 229.32 Unknown

He very much love-bombed me. So at the time he was a barista and I was working in pharmacy and every day he would finish at about 1 or 2 o'clock. And he would bring me a coffee and flowers. So like whether he got them from the store or out of a garden or whatever. Out of a garden? Okay.

Chapter 3: How did the host's relationship dynamic evolve during their travels?

479.301 - 501.524 Abbie Chatfield

What is there to push through? Is it just his mum? It's just the mum? Yeah. Is it a Mrs Mummy? What are you going to do? FaceTime exists. Yeah, or just like you can survive not talking to your mum for six weeks even if it didn't exist, even if he was going to a rural outback, you know, where there was always – what's the use?

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501.544 - 504.85 Abbie Chatfield

Has he ever been away from his mum for more than a night or something? What the fuck?

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507.142 - 534.412 Unknown

We're in London and this is the first red flag that I should have picked up on. Obviously it had been winter at home and so he'd been in like long pants, but it was very hot in London so he was wearing shorts. And we were leaving dinner and he was walking in front of me and I noticed a tattoo on the back of his calf that I had never seen before. And I was like, oh, hey, what's that?

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535.073 - 566.245 Unknown

And he told me that his best friend who lives in another city had surprised him and they went and got matching tattoos. And I was like, oh, like love that for you, but so weird that you didn't tell me. Like I had met his best friend and it's just such a big detail to not tell me. But anyway, the next thing I probably should have picked up on was that he wasn't posting anything on social media.

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566.586 - 604.311 Unknown

Not that you like, not that you have to or should, but he had been quite present on social media prior to that. So the next thing that happened was we were in Italy and we met my brother and his partner in Rome and we went out for dinner and drinks one night and Josh and I left to go back to our hotel and it was really, obviously it's summer in Italy so it's super, super busy and

605.877 - 632.627 Unknown

And we were crossing a bridge, like a walking bridge. And because it's so busy, I guess... So this guy's walking towards me. And I guess from the outside, it might have looked like he sort of shoulder barged me. But really, we just sort of brushed shoulders. And Josh turned around to this guy and started yelling. And you know how...

634.042 - 655.472 Abbie Chatfield

I hate men that can't – well, that's it. No, sorry. I hate men that can't keep their cool. Like that is so scary. And it's also weird when there are men like this, that this is their version of being a protector. Yeah. And they go, I'm your protector, so I'll just bash any cunt that fucking – And it's like nothing happened. No, nothing happened.

655.713 - 683.469 Abbie Chatfield

And that's actually causing issues with your safety, my safety, your criminal charges. Like why would you go off at someone? Yeah. If there is, what an actual adult man would do would either ignore it or if it was something that was, hey, say sorry. Yeah. At most. Yes. A normal man, though, would just ignore it and go, are you okay? Yeah. To your partner. And go, that was fucking weird.

683.489 - 701.055 Abbie Chatfield

What a dickhead job. Or do you want, like Adam, there have been things where like men have done things like that to me in a gig where it's been completely accidental but Adam's been like unsure. Like my drink spilled on me or something, you know, from someone going past me. Yeah. And he's like, you're right, don't mean to say anything. And I'm like, oh, no, but that's a normal response.

Chapter 4: What red flags did the host notice about their partner?

810.14 - 816.327 Abbie Chatfield

And also, yeah, then you're detained overseas. Yeah. And you have to call the fucking embassy. Oh, God. Like, Jesus.

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817.088 - 836.072 Unknown

He sprints off, seems to be a bit of a theme. Again. Left me alone. And so I don't think I had a SIM card in my phone at the time. And so I was just hoping that my brother was still at the restaurant and thankfully he was. So I went back there and we went to his hotel room and,

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836.744 - 841.591 Abbie Chatfield

And also so much for like making a good impression on the brother. Yeah.

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841.611 - 843.534 Unknown

She comes back. Where's your boyfriend?

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843.875 - 855.792 Abbie Chatfield

He ran away. He sprinted away. Started a fight and ran away. The brother will be going, because isn't the point of this trip to meet the brother? To have, not permission, but to feel okay and comfortable with everyone.

855.812 - 890.384 Unknown

Yeah, have met the whole family before they move into the next stage of their relationship. Bloody idiot. I think that night I eventually went back to my hotel and Josh was there. And so the next day we had a Coliseum tour booked and Josh didn't end up coming. I think he was embarrassed, as he should be. Yes, so that was Italy. Then next is Germany. Oh, hello. So we were in Berlin.

890.684 - 890.764

Yes.

891.689 - 900.119 Unknown

And it's so innocent the way this happened, the way I found out. So Josh is a runner. He runs.

900.5 - 910.772 Abbie Chatfield

Well, no shit. No fucking shit. I think we gathered that. Bloody Ned Brockman. Fucking hell. Holy shit, he's running everywhere. Jesus Christ.

Chapter 5: How did the partner's behavior escalate during the trip?

1217.208 - 1235.471 Abbie Chatfield

People that are in relationships and are doing like multiple different cheating partners over years. And like committed cheating. Just try to be in an open relationship or be single because everyone's like, oh, they want their cake and to eat it too. And it's like, well, open relationships actually exist more now than ever. Yes.

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1235.691 - 1255.576 Abbie Chatfield

You could find someone that would be in a relationship with you and you could fuck other people. But in this guy's case, and I think in the case of my ex as well, he enjoyed the thrill. Like my ex and I were open. in terms of kissy-kissy. So he could, like, make out with people on the dance floor because I go, I don't really mind. And it's kind of, like, funny and, like, bleh.

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1255.636 - 1276.693 Abbie Chatfield

Like, I kind of feel like that's horny, like, a little bit, like, if you were out. And he would, like, tell the girls, whatever. But then he would, like – Then he would do just beyond that. Like he would like do kissy, kissy, fingy, fingy. Okay. You know, and I'm going, well, you've got kissy, kissy. And you also know that I'm open to negotiation. Yeah. So you're doing it.

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1276.713 - 1292.7 Abbie Chatfield

And it was like, we kept like pushing the restrictions about open relationship. Also, by the way, this is not Conrad, by the way, do not, this is not Conrad at all. This is someone from before Conrad. I would also, I would never. Anything that I say, just as a quick side note, anything that I say about exes is never Conrad, never has been, but especially isn't now, just to be clear.

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1292.82 - 1310.563 Abbie Chatfield

This is not Conrad. This is a piece of shit fucking loser who cheated on me serially with all different people. But like there would be boundaries that would be pushed out and out and out and then he would always do the one step beyond that but then no further. So it's like you're a naughty little kid.

1310.763 - 1320.775 Unknown

Yeah, who's like the teacher tells you like stop leaning back in your chair and then you like do as much as you can to like just be breaking the rules, you know.

1320.795 - 1323.719 Abbie Chatfield

Yes, like pushing boundaries. It's a really strange personality type.

1323.739 - 1327.503 Unknown

Or like, you know, when you're like fighting with your sibling and they're like, I'm not touching you.

1327.583 - 1328.524 Abbie Chatfield

Yes, it's that.

Chapter 6: What shocking discovery did the host make about their partner?

2024.638 - 2053.157 Unknown

And I messaged her. telling her the truth. And, yeah, she was completely unaware. And I said, are you with him right now? And she said yes. I said, are you in bed with him? And she said yes. And anyway, so I fly home and he did end up picking me up from the airport.

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2053.177 - 2058.922 Abbie Chatfield

What? That's the most surprising thing of this whole story is that he actually fucking followed through.

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0

2059.608 - 2066.436 Abbie Chatfield

He didn't do another runner. Yeah. Maybe he just ran up and was like, get on my back. I'll run you home. He's obsessed.

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2066.456 - 2099.164 Unknown

And he was such a little baby that he dropped me about 100 metres from my mum's driveway because he was so scared that she was going to, like, give him a spray. Such a baby. Oh, my God. He's also a little mummy's boy. We can tell. Oh, shit, fucking hell. So when I actually got home, his emails were still logged in to my computer. God, change it again.

2099.224 - 2103.909 Abbie Chatfield

I don't want to give you advice, but like he'd be an awful crim. Yeah, terrible.

2104.049 - 2131.303 Unknown

Well, actually he has been a crim two times. Yeah, wow. And I scrolled back and had a look and what caught my eye was this an Uber receipt because it was so expensive. It was like $350 or something. And so I opened it and weirdly, like the week before we left, he had flown. So remember how he had said his best friend surprised him.

2131.823 - 2159.379 Unknown

He had actually in one day flown to where his best friend lives and got a really expensive Uber out to where he lived and And they'd got matching tattoos. And it's just I still to this day I can't understand why he didn't tell me. Like it's just why would I have cared? It's just such a weird detail to lie about.

2159.419 - 2165.109 Abbie Chatfield

Do we know it actually was matching with the best friend or is it matching with the woman?

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