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It's A Lot with Abbie Chatfield

SOLO: Men's Rights Reddit HATES This Phrase

08 Jun 2026

Transcription

Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.

Chapter 1: What context does Abbie provide before diving into the Men's Rights Reddit?

0.031 - 17.298 Abbie Chatfield

It's a Lot is recorded on Gadigal land. We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this land and to elders past and present. We also would love to extend our respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people listening today and remind you all that sovereignty was never ceded and it always was and always will be Aboriginal land.

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23.748 - 25.11 Amy Kimball

It's a lot, isn't it?

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26.035 - 39.953 Abbie Chatfield

All right, guys, so I've been a bit depressed this week, so I decided last night at 11.30 to look at Men's Rights Reddit to cheer me up a little bit, and this is what I found. I've been having a really shit time.

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39.973 - 62.152 Abbie Chatfield

I know we've been through it, but let's just maybe we can keep this going because a lot of you messaged me saying that you appreciated me speaking about my mental health, so let's keep these updates going because I used to do this every solo episode, I feel like. I used to talk about it all the time. Yeah. And then I stopped talking about it. But feeling really woo-woo dissociated.

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62.473 - 91.817 Abbie Chatfield

You ever had that? Where you're like... I'm not real. Things aren't real. What year is it? Yeah, time is a circle. What's happening here? So not feeling the best mentally and just feeling like, yeah, like every day I wake up and I vomit from panic. As soon as I wake up, I vomit or I at least dry reach when I get up because I'm just so anxious because every day I think,

91.797 - 116.455 Abbie Chatfield

what awful thing could happen today. Like last night we went to the movies, Amy and I went to the premiere of Silenced, which we're having a podcast about that once it's out in cinemas. It was amazing, by the way. But we went there and I didn't want to do the red carpet, but then last night I was freaking out because I ran across the red carpet because there was no way around it.

116.536 - 118.077 Amy Kimball

Yes, it was a bit of a bottleneck.

118.097 - 121.561 Abbie Chatfield

It was a bottleneck and I was like, I just don't want to get photos taken because I was scared about the Daily Mail.

Chapter 2: What mental health struggles does Abbie share at the beginning of the episode?

121.581 - 123.502 Amy Kimball

We had to go to the red carpet to get our tickets.

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123.522 - 123.783 Abbie Chatfield

Yes.

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124.323 - 125.064 Amy Kimball

Which was the problem.

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125.244 - 143.04 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah, so we got dragged to the front and we had to get our tickets and then I was trying to look for like to go around the back of the photographers because usually there's like two lines, like one that's behind the photographers and one's in front of. This just seemed to be, there was no like way out and I was panicking and dissociated. So again, where am I? Where am I? What's going on?

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143.44 - 160.216 Abbie Chatfield

Lights are flashing. I don't want anyone to take a photo of me, take videos of me. Even like in the line, I was like, Amy, do not come and get me because people are going to think there's going to be an article saying that I, like the level of paranoia due to these freaky, freaky fucking articles. And I know it's like a broken record of I, but you guys don't understand.

160.476 - 174.69 Abbie Chatfield

Apparently they wrote an article. Someone sent me comments. I don't know what the headline was, but they wrote an article about me saying that they write a million articles about me. And the article says they don't write a million articles about me.

175.497 - 176.64 Amy Kimball

The irony.

176.76 - 196.183 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah, apparently it was like Abby Chatfield claims, you know, so I presume it's like Abby Chatfield claims we're doing a smear campaign against her, but we're not. And it's like, so why are you writing it up? Leave me alone. Leave me alone. In the video you're talking about, the caption says, Please leave me alone, you fucking loser fucking freaks.

196.643 - 212.907 Abbie Chatfield

Anyway, so it's just like high levels of paranoia right now. Like even press that I'm doing, I'm like, I can't do press. I can't whatever. Anyway, guys, come to the live show because it'll be very fun and it'll be very similar to our men's rights episodes, which we're about to do now. So. Tickets are in bio. Help me out a bit.

Chapter 3: What conversation starters does Abbie find in the Men's Rights Reddit?

1032.587 - 1040.035 Abbie Chatfield

That's the most effective tool. Women can scream and shout and let it out loud and scream.

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1041.168 - 1061.527 Abbie Chatfield

But we can scream and shout and let it all out like IPs. But if you don't respect women, women screaming and shouting and letting it all out is actually going to make you disrespect them even more because you are upset that they are questioning your reality that you have learned and been indoctrinated into from birth.

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1061.547 - 1077.923 Abbie Chatfield

So if we cut the cord and we stop these young boys or we at least have some intervention where they are aware of the They are aware of ways in which women are treated poorly. They are aware of increased levels of domestic violence, online abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse.

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1078.183 - 1093.356 Abbie Chatfield

If they are at least aware of these things, even the way that women are discouraged from doing STEM, the way that women are encouraged in doing home economics, things as basic and little as that doesn't have to be a domestic violence course, although that would be good, or a street harassment course. Again, that would be good.

1093.837 - 1099.542 Abbie Chatfield

But it's just planting the seeds of recognizing that women are treated poorly.

1099.522 - 1129.083 Abbie Chatfield

differently and i just i i it's shocking to me that these men have an issue with them they are so upset that that boys would be told they're doing anything wrong which proves our point and a lack of understanding of the fact that if you respect women you you then don't need to be taught to respect men because you will respect men for more for respecting women Period. Exactly. Fucking exactly.

1129.464 - 1153.44 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah. I just, I just, it really concerns me. He goes on. Sorry. Okay. This unfortunately is a very difficult concept for feminists to realize. It seems to me that they still seem to believe in some sort of, I know what this means. Maybe I don't understand. Maybe he is smarter than me, this guy. You'll know what it means, Amy. You're really smart. Tabula rasa.

1154.332 - 1168.367 Amy Kimball

Oh, God. I've heard the phrase before. I'd have to look it up. A clean slate.

Chapter 4: How does Abbie interpret the phrase 'Respect Women'?

1168.607 - 1172.571 Abbie Chatfield

Well, thanks for that. You could have said clean slate, dumb feminists like me, dumb, dumb girls.

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1172.591 - 1173.712 Amy Kimball

Sorry I didn't study Latin.

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1173.912 - 1198.025 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah. Sorry, guys. All right. All I know is virtute, non verbis, my school motto, actions, not words. All right. So they have to believe in some sort of clean slate, I'm going to translate that for you, where they feel socialisation, quote unquote, and brainwashing people from the start will make everything good and solve all the problems. Again, the issue is here.

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1198.246 - 1220.622 Abbie Chatfield

They see patriarchal conditioning as the norm and feminism and respecting women as brainwashing. They believe that men have to be – and, again, it's like you're proving our point that things are so bad that it might require some brainwashing. It might require socialization. He's put it in quotation marks as though that's the craziest thing in the world. Oh, and what?

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1220.942 - 1247.57 Abbie Chatfield

Socialization is going to fix this? You are, and I believe this is true, but what you are doing is you are doing bioessentialism and saying that boys and men automatically do not respect women and should not respect women biologically, and it would require extreme socialization and brainwashing from birth to solve any of these problems. They're so close, Amy. They're so close.

1248.532 - 1250.115 Amy Kimball

A pair's breath away.

1251.258 - 1271.928 Abbie Chatfield

Keeps going. All that their silliness achieves is possibly mockery for those of us who are serious and alienation and radicalization of those who might be more sensitive. And I'm sick of this idea that boys and men are being pushed further away and radicalized because of feminists.

1272.669 - 1298.059 Abbie Chatfield

In this example, wanting them to respect women, they're not even talking about a specific instance of like a feminist doing something crazy as they always do. They're talking about a school class about respecting women and girls and understanding gender dynamics. And he's seeing this as a reason that the sensitive boys might become radicalised.

1298.7 - 1309.534 Abbie Chatfield

Again, this proves that they have a predisposition due to their socialisation and due to the lack of feminist brainwashing woke mind virus that you want to put in them. This proves...

Chapter 5: How do men's rights activists perceive the concept of respect?

1608.269 - 1626.562 Abbie Chatfield

I just don't think that's happening. But I also agree with that if you've given birth, as I've said, if I gave birth, I said to Adam, you are doing. except for titty feeding, except for breastfeeding. But I'll pump.

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1626.582 - 1627.063 Amy Kimball

Formula.

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1627.223 - 1644.17 Abbie Chatfield

Yeah, formula. Like you are doing everything. I created the human. You came inside me. I had nine months of no Dexys, as I've learned recently from ex-producer Elise. You have to go off the Dexys when you get pregnant.

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1644.27 - 1645.953 Amy Kimball

You can't even give your baby stimulants.

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1645.973 - 1668.299 Abbie Chatfield

Unfortunately. God. Although mine will need it. Adam and mine. If Adam and I have a kid, it's going to have ADHD quite severe. It might need it from birth to wean onto it. But look, I won't be doing that. Dexies are off. Antidepressants are off. Drink is off. All the other fun things in life are completely gone. All right. And you're also uncomfortable. You're risking your life giving birth.

1668.319 - 1668.779 Amy Kimball

Oh, yeah.

1669.08 - 1680.144 Abbie Chatfield

So I've said to Adam, I've gone, if I have a baby, you're changing every fucking nappy. I don't care what you want to do. You're because I need to sleep.

Chapter 6: What examples does Abbie give to illustrate the misunderstanding of respect?

1680.164 - 1704.19 Abbie Chatfield

I need to rest and recover for nine months. I need nine months of time. You need nine months of time. You know, it's only even. Bifo, a little bit. But I'm just laying in the bed going, give me more nummies. So anyway, I've heard stories about girlfriends and wives who think because they are the mother, they are the ones who have more power over what they name their children and how to raise them.

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1705.385 - 1722.453 Abbie Chatfield

Again, I would agree. I think if I'm creating a child, I have more say in the name. But I don't think anyone's saying, and you don't even get to speak during this. It's like if Adam and I were a coin toss, I'd go, well, listen, I made it.

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1723.215 - 1747.829 Amy Kimball

But you know what this says to me is that these other kinds of people who go through the whole process of pregnancy and everything are And they're the kind of men that have like no input on anything as in like they voluntarily do not give any input on anything. And then once the baby's there, then they start doing something. And then it's like, well, I actually have already done all the work.

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1747.95 - 1754.039 Abbie Chatfield

Yes. So true. They get to have a cruise. See, if I got pregnant as well, Adam, you're sober with me.

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1754.62 - 1754.82 Unknown

Yeah.

1754.84 - 1781.376 Abbie Chatfield

You can have your Dexys though because I wouldn't want you to be off the Dexys. Sorry. But you're not drinking, darling. We're in this together. We're in this painful moment together. So. He continues. And this is his evidence. This is what's upset him. This is what has been the triggering moment for him. And Amy, maybe you'll feel sympathy for him. Maybe you'll understand him.

1781.396 - 1805.141 Abbie Chatfield

Even in some comics, he's got a lot of typos. Even some comics that use the line as an excuse to say the woman has gone through more pain. Yep, she has gone through more pain. She pushed out a baby from her cunt. So actually, yeah, she's been the one that's been going through pain, vomiting, morning sickness, risking her literal life.

1805.883 - 1808.588 Amy Kimball

Can you spell episiotomy?

1811.332 - 1837.59 Abbie Chatfield

Like, yeah, she is the one. He continues. I remember one scene in a cartoon where a husband and wife hear a noise and the wife makes the husband go out and figure out what it is because the wife said, I gave birth to our daughter. And apparently that's all the reason she needs to make him go out. Moment of silence.

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