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It's Been a Minute

The joy of breaking up with dating apps

02 Mar 2026

Transcription

Chapter 1: What is the main topic discussed in this episode?

0.098 - 17.247 Unknown

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18.053 - 21.759 Brittany Luce

Would you say you've been scared away from the apps by weirdos in general?

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22.16 - 39.968 Manuela López-Restrepo

A hundred percent. I feel like the type of person that I want to meet who has kind of the same approach and values is not going to be somebody that I meet on an app. And if you've been on them over the course of a few years, it kind of feels like you're in like a haunted old saloon and you see the same ghosts over and over again.

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40.088 - 43.774 Manuela López-Restrepo

Like, oh, wow, you're still there in the same stool with the same drink.

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46.218 - 52.104 Brittany Luce

Today, I have a special guest here with me, Manuela Lopez-Rescrepo. Welcome to It's Been a Minute.

52.124 - 52.925 Manuela López-Restrepo

Hi, Brittany.

53.425 - 66.799 Brittany Luce

Manuela is actually a former It's Been a Minute intern, but she's now a producer and writer for NPR's All Things Considered. Manuela, you're here because we're going to talk about my favorite topic, dating.

67.319 - 79.842 Manuela López-Restrepo

Well, I'm glad it's someone's favorite topic because every time I think about it, I want to bonk myself on the head with a little clown hammer. Yeah. I can understand that. I know you've been off the apps for a while though now.

Chapter 2: What are the downsides of using dating apps?

80.082 - 99.357 Manuela López-Restrepo

I've mostly been clean from the apps for about a year now. How has that been? I mean, it's hard. I think when you're going against the grain of something that has become part of modern life so quickly and so ubiquitously. You kind of maybe feel like you're the one who's doing things wrong. All of my friends are still on apps and going on dates.

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99.457 - 115.624 Manuela López-Restrepo

And meanwhile, I'm meeting maybe a few people per year. But also speaking personally, I also don't know any of said friends who are on the apps and have good things to say about it. So, you know, I would just kind of say that I'm not sure I know anybody who's happy with the state of dating in general.

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116.445 - 139.168 Brittany Luce

There's the rub. At the end of the day, all people want is some human connection. And that's, you know, it's such an elemental and such a natural thing. That connection in general these days, it's really mediated by technology. But what has that done to this millennia old need? And what does it look like to try to find romance offline? Well, Manuela and I are getting into it. Let's do it.

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143.924 - 153.85 Brittany Luce

Hello, hello. I'm Brittany Luce, and you're listening to It's Been a Minute from NPR, a show about what's going on in culture and why it doesn't happen by accident.

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160.377 - 187.184 Manuela López-Restrepo

Brittany, here's the thing. I have basically been on dating apps my entire dating life. What do you mean? What do you mean? They used to have Tinder for minors. What? I'm not making this up. They used to have under 18 Tinder and above 18 Tinder. No! So when I was a teenager in the suburbs, I was matching with people from like the high schools nearby.

187.265 - 190.81 Manuela López-Restrepo

And then, you know, we would add each other on Snapchat.

190.83 - 198.641 Brittany Luce

I'm sorry. That is just so wild to me as a person who really didn't start dating on the apps until I was like 25.

198.661 - 204.709 Manuela López-Restrepo

You ask a fish how water is and it's like, what is water? I'm like, I don't know anything different, you know?

204.729 - 211.413 Brittany Luce

I'm sorry. Not to sound like Cynthia Erivo. I didn't know that was happening.

Chapter 3: How has Manuela's offline dating journey been?

284.57 - 287.194 Brittany Luce

Like I was not playing around. I play entirely too much.

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289.738 - 304.78 Manuela López-Restrepo

But anyway, after a while of that, it felt like something shifted. I feel like I sort of watched malaise sort of sweep into the dating scene. And I have a theory that this shift aligned with the deeper monetization of these apps.

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304.895 - 323.612 Brittany Luce

You know what? Actually, I think you might be right about that. The dating apps seem to be struggling right now. That's Greg Wazowski. He's a writer and reporter at NPR's economics podcast, Planet Money. And he wrote a story a few years ago about this, why a lot of users feel like dating apps have gotten worse. And I chatted with him about it.

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323.592 - 329.659 Unknown

First of all, I just want to say that I actually think dating apps provide a valuable service. I actually met my wife on Hinge.

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330.7 - 349.482 Brittany Luce

I should also disclose here too, I met my husband on OkCupid back when it was still a website. Also, dating online does work for a lot of other people besides just me and Greg. As of 2023, 20% of partnered adults in your age bracket between 18 and 29 met online, according to Pew.

349.934 - 363.114 Manuela López-Restrepo

And I'm so happy for you guys and everybody else, I guess. But, you know, when it comes to finding your match on dating apps, I really relate to that thing that Tony Soprano says to Dr. Melfi in the pilot of The Sopranos.

363.615 - 374.987 Greg Wazowski

It's good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that. I know. But lately, I'm getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.

378.651 - 381.675 Brittany Luce

You really are on these HBO shows from the 90s.

381.956 - 390.927 Manuela López-Restrepo

A woman after my own heart. You know, like Tony said, the best is already over. But back to Greg's reporting, please. I want to hear this.

Chapter 4: What challenges do people face when dating offline?

496.928 - 500.536 Manuela López-Restrepo

Like, oh, wow, you're still there in the same stool with the same drink.

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500.856 - 505.727 Brittany Luce

Well, Greg actually has this theory about that, courtesy of an economist, of course.

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505.842 - 531.944 Unknown

There's an economist whose name is George Akerlof, and he has this classic paper. He actually won a Nobel prize for it. It's called the market for lemons. And the basic idea is like markets where there's not great information sometimes go haywire. So he used the example of cars. And the basic idea was that if you're like in the used car market, you kind of don't know what you're actually buying.

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531.964 - 551.867 Unknown

Like, could this be a lemon? Could it not be? And. Because of that information problem, all of a sudden buyers are like, wait a second, I don't know if this is going to be a good car. So in expectation, they're like, I'm not going to pay full price for what I think this used car is worth because there's a chance it's a dud. So the price goes down.

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The sellers of the good products are like, well, I don't want to sell at that price. So I'm leaving the market. This keeps cycling and cycling and cycling until it's just a market for lemons and the market fails. So This is a long way of saying, like, I think there's the possibility that there's this sort of problem in dating apps. Now, hear me out, Brittany.

573.192 - 592.114 Unknown

And I'm going to try to word this in a way that is not offensive. But, you know, I think there's a lot of, especially men, who approach dating apps without the earnest intention of actually wanting to find love. I don't think that's controversial.

592.414 - 594.557 Manuela López-Restrepo

Yeah, I don't really think so either.

594.706 - 613.992 Unknown

You see this sometimes where you get on the app, you know, you go on a bunch of bad dates or somebody broke your heart. And then like lemons driving good cars out of the used car market, maybe sleazeballs push like great catches out of dating apps and ultimately ruin the quality of the whole app experience. So people go to a new app with the hopes of finding something better.

614.152 - 615.494 Unknown

And then the cycle starts again.

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