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Full Episode
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, black-triots, non-MAGA-triots. Fuck off! Pumps is back. She's back. She's better never. I'm sure you have some grievances you're ready to share with our listener.
Okay, I'll tell you what my grievance is. I have had it with small talk. There is nothing more miserable than having to make small talk with people that you don't know, that don't care about what you're saying. You don't care what you're saying. It is so miserable. Like when I walked into a place Friday night for parents weekend and there were like 60 people. And I just was like, I can't do it.
I think I stayed for five minutes, talked to three people that I knew and left because I'm like, small talk just makes me insane. I just want to go insane when I think I have to small talk.
I have a question for you. What? Why do you engage in it so frequently when we're together with strangers? Well... Is it to torture me? It's to torture you.
No, I mean, that would make more sense. That would be a side benefit to torture you. I don't realize I'm doing it. It overwhelms me when I go into a room and there's like... 50 people that I'm kind of supposed to know, that our kids are doing the same thing, but I don't know. And I just, I start panicking. I'm just like, I don't want to do this.
100%. I mean, the other day we were just in the parking lot in front of the studio and a girl walks up. And next thing I know, we're 25 questions deep into her child support hearings. Yeah.
Part of my problem is I'm nosy.
Yeah.
I mean, that's part of it. But I have to tell you this story. Okay. You're going to die. Okay. So we go to dinner with all the parents from Emily's friends. And halfway through the dinner, Emily grabs me by the leg and she looks at me and she goes... Everyone at this table is on suicide watch because you will not quit talking about the dog.
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