I've Had It
Jailbird Lovebirds
Tue, 17 Dec 2024 08:00:00 -0000
From Default Workspace • No contributors
Jennifer and Josh uncover the missing piece for Pumps in her (nonexistent) search for love. Pre-order our new book, join our Patreon Cult, and more by clicking here: https://linktr.ee/ivehaditpodcast. Thank you to our sponsors: ZocDoc: Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to https://Zocdoc.com/IVEHADIT to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Aura Frames: Exclusive $35-off Carver Mat at https://AuraFrames.com. Use code HADIT at checkout to save! SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Holiday Shop at http://www.SKIMS.com/hadit. Available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets! If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you! After you place your order, select "podcast" in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Follow Us: I've Had It Podcast: @Ivehaditpodcast Jennifer Welch: @mizzwelch Angie "Pumps" Sullivan: @pumpspumpspumps Special guest: Josh Welch @josh_welchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Chapter 1: Who is Josh Welch and why is he here?
Ready? One, two, three. Patriots, gay-triots, they-triots. Josh Welch is here. Josh, can you... Hello, hello, hello. Can you... I don't know. Can I what? You need arms. You got to kick up. I love it. Am I supposed to be like a puppet here on the show? Absolutely. It's our bird. We're trying to be somewhat like. Oh, that's right. We're trying not to like pre-surrender to fascism. Okay.
We have a bird. It used to be the eagle, but now it's some other bird. I'll be more performative. Okay. My apologies. Thank you. All right. Let's start with pumps. Pumps, what have you had it with?
What I've had it with is. is when people cut in line at a double drive-thru. You're supposed to alternate. Order, go up. Alternate, the next person from the next line goes up. Last two times I've been in a line, the person that it's not their turn slams in front of me, behind the car. It screws up everybody's order. I can't stand it. I'm like, how much time are you saving? Maybe a minute.
And you're just showing you're a fucking dickhead. And I'm impatient and I can't stand it. I hate it. I've had it. Obey the customs and rules of a double drive. Does it screw up the food that they bring out because someone else is cut in line? Yes. And it disrupts the whole process.
It disrupts. Everything. The person brings your order and then they have to go back because they have the wrong order because you have some asshole that thought they had to be first. I've seen it. But I think you could apply that situation in all of life. The pettiness of human beings wanting to say five seconds, 10 seconds.
That's true. And a lot of times that's me. So I can't get too big on my horse. But in a drive through, I observe the customs and norms. Everywhere else, probably not.
Listener, the... Grievances, when I dine with either of the people seated next to me, whether it be a drive-through, a walk-up order, a restaurant, the standard that the person on the right and the person on my left hold these restaurants to is the highest of standards.
I would say it's more just competence, just a bare competence. And I would also say that like a month ago, there was some deal on social media that said if you could win a million dollars, if you took somebody to a restaurant that would complain about something in the restaurant. Who would it be? And I immediately forwarded it to Josh and I was like, we found each other. This is us.
A hundred percent. Yeah. And I want to disclaim up front that I'm an awful human being to serve at a restaurant. Awful. Just horrific.
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Chapter 2: What are the grievances about drive-thru etiquette?
If you're going to rate the Bundt cakes on a scale of 1 to 10, they're 10s. They're the best that you can get. What about the service?
Service is a 10. The service is great. The staff is great. The ladies that work there are fantastic human beings. I don't want to text about a Bundt cake. I don't want to take a survey about a Bundt cake. I don't want to get communications about sales that are going on where I can save 10% on the Bundt cake. I want none of that.
Like if I'm in the middle of court or in the middle of a client's crisis, I don't want to look down and get information about how I can save 80 cents on a fucking Bundt cake. Let me ask you this. Do you want the receipt? None of it. I don't want any verification that I've ever been there other than I want to eat it. That's it. That's it. That's it. The last communication.
Let me tell you what I've had it with. And this is a seasonal thing that comes up with Josh and me. And it all goes back to the cinnamon roll, cinnamon roll gate that longtime listeners know about. That was bad. Last Christmas when Josh stole the center of my cinnamon roll. Well, this Thanksgiving, Josh said, hey, I bought some cinnamon rolls and they're in the refrigerator.
And I said, okay, I'll bake them because everybody knows how domestic I am. And so as I'm baking them and I accidentally burned the first round, I think it was an oven malfunction, but that's neither here nor there. But for the second round, I had the original frosting from the burnt cinnamon rolls.
So when the second round came out, I was able to put two little cups of frosting on one container of cinnamon rolls. So I have had it with Pillsbury. being stingy with the icing for the cinnamon rolls. They need to offer, when you sell cinnamon rolls, you can get the normal amount for normal people that live their life in moderation.
And then you need the double the frosting for the sugar fiend junkie Americans. More is more, more icing like the three of us here. And so I've had it with Pillsbury being stingy with the icing. And if anybody from Pillsbury listens to this podcast, when the sales quadruple, once you announce the double icing thing, don't forget your friends over at I've had it.
That's genius to have an option of double icing. Double icing. Yeah, it's genius. And I even thought after you prepared that great Thanksgiving traditional meal breakfast, I even thought, you know, I may start buying just two things of cinnamon rolls and just throwing one away just to have the extra icing. Yeah. Yeah. That's how much of a need there is. Right. I agree.
Yeah. It's just that I'm not going to cook these extra five. I don't want them. I want double the icing for these five. Right. Yeah. I'm a hundred percent. It'll make that center bite that you still for me in the future that much more delicious.
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