The Science of Swiping Right ft. Dating Expert Logan Ury
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Is there a dating crisis in the modern world?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like if you took the temperature on dating right now, there's a dating crisis. And why do you think that is? I feel like there's too many options and people are treating each other like they're disposable. Like I just don't think that we're really valuing each other. I have seen so many different dating coaches and not all of them handle people the way you do. I mean, sort of my unofficial motto is the spark, this obsession with instant chemistry and fireworks. And I think that that actually holds people back. So many of the best relationships really have this slow burn feeling where it develops over time. I love Disney movies. I love rom-coms. But they do create this idea that the how you met is so important.
What is 'The Spark' and how does it affect relationships?
And if you're with someone for 50 years, the day that you meet is 0.0055% of your total time together. Right. So who cares how you met? You can meet in an unromantic way and have a very romantic relationship. I love that. You're so right. Oh my gosh. Hi, Logan. I'm so excited to have you on. Now, I learned about you or I was introduced to you because I was watching The Later Daters on Netflix and I know you're a matchmaker on that show, but I wouldn't label you as a matchmaker. You do so much more. And I love that just from the show, you are so charming and kind, but also telling them the truth.
Who is Logan Ury and what is her approach to dating?
And I just loved your... Just how you handle, I think, dating. And then when I started researching you a little bit more and knowing that you went to Harvard and you worked at Google and there's so many layers to you and I just find you so fascinating. So thank you for coming on. I really was so excited that you said yes. Yes. Yeah. Thank you for having me. Thank you for the kind words. And I love that you found me through later daters. So, yes, I actually would call myself a dating coach over a matchmaker. So really less focused on connecting people and really focused on helping people understand. Here's how you've been dating in the past. Here's why it's not working. Let's make a plan for how you can date differently. And then that's how you're going to date like a scientist and get different results.
I think it's so fascinating because I don't know if you are so young or you look so young. But either way, you look and you probably are so young. But you have so much experience and I think so much wisdom. But especially because the show is about people dating in the later chapters in their lives and how you – handle everyone I know this isn't a plug for the show it's more about your personality and what really made me gravitate towards you and I was like gosh I find you so interesting because I have seen so many different life coaches dating coaches and not all of them handle people the way you do and I think that takes a lot of empathy but also self-awareness of your own and then when I started looking you up and just you're so intelligent and you've lived so many lives and I'm like
Let's have her on. Yay. Thank you. Yes. You know, a lot of my research has been with Gen Z and millennial daters. And then on the show, it was over 55. And I was kind of nervous beforehand. I was like, this isn't my typical demographic. I don't know if everything's going to apply. But I actually found that so much of what I teach and all these lessons about love are really universal because dating is a skill and it can be taught at any age. It is. So I didn't realize that most of your education, I guess, if you will, your practice was for the Gen Z and Millennials. Do you think that – because I really think that there's even a difference in dating from Gen Zs to Millennials. What are the over 55s called?
I mean, they're kind of like Gen X slash boomer. Okay. Yeah. Is it really –
How do generational differences affect dating practices?
hard to like to get them out of that old school mindset that they have because I still feel like I have an old school mindset yeah so there's differences in each generation so I've done a lot of research on Gen Z I work as the director of relationship science at Hinge so I work at that dating app and then I get to do a lot of research one thing about Gen Z is a lot of them came of age during the pandemic I think that that did have a big impact on people's social skills right
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Chapters
8 chapters
1
Is there a dating crisis in the modern world?
0:11–0:56
2
What is 'The Spark' and how does it affect relationships?
0:56–2:00
3
Who is Logan Ury and what is her approach to dating?
2:00–4:21
4
How do generational differences affect dating practices?
4:21–10:39
5
How does Khloé's personal life impact her dating perspective?
10:39–14:37
6
What are common challenges faced by women in modern dating?
14:37–25:28
7
What is the concept of 'Penthouse People' in relationships?
25:28–31:07
8
How can one overcome the obsession with instant chemistry?
31:07–1:00:35