Transcript generated automatically by AI and may contain errors.
Chapter 1: What is discussed at the start of this section?
Hey, this is Red Band, and you're listening to the Death Squad Podcast Network. This episode of Kill Tony and every episode of Kill Tony can be found at DeathSquad.TV, Apple, Spotify, and anywhere you get podcasts. Check out TonyHinchcliffe.com for everything The Golden Pony, Tony Hinchcliffe. You can also check out ShopSquad.TV for Death Squad merch, hats, mugs, whatever. ShopSquad.TV.
And now here's a brand new episode of Kill Tony.
Hey, this is Grandman Company Live from the Comedy Mothership here in Austin, Texas for a brand new episode of Kill Tony. Get up for Tony Hinchcliffe!
Who's ready for the best fucking night of their lives, huh?
Yeah!
Yippee! It's the best damn band in all of the land, everybody. You made it. You're here. You're at the number one live podcast in the world, brought to you by Blue Chew Talk Space and Shopify. We got a little hootenanny in store for you. How you guys feeling tonight? Good? Before we get started, here's a little bit more from the amazing sponsors that made it all possible.
We live in Austin, Texas, but we are jumping in a tour bus, ladies and gentlemen, and we are taking the actual Kill Tony show to Houston, Texas, February 28th and Dallas, March 28th. Go to TonyHinchcliffe.com for tickets right now. Come see an actual Kill Tony show in the great state of Texas. One in Houston, February 28th. One in Grand Prairie, March 28th. TonyHinchcliffe.com. Get tickets now.
Who's ready to start tonight's show, huh? Guys, every single week, I book one or two of the world's funniest human beings. One of the biggest comedians on planet Earth is with us tonight. One of my favorite humans. A guy who I can say I've literally basically watched grow up over the past decade and a half. And now he is a phenom. One of the biggest in the world. One of the best in the world.
One of my favorites. Make some fucking noise for the one and only Matt Wright. The band, the bitch, the legend is with us. Matt motherfucking Rice on a Monday evening in Austin, Texas. Oh yeah. Matt does arenas. He's doing Jacksonville, Louisville, all over MattRyceOfficial.com. How's it going, buddy? Good, man. Happy to be back in Austin for 48 hours. Thanks for having me.
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Chapter 2: What upcoming shows does Tony Hinchcliffe mention?
It's a children's show, and there's some new guy that is not the original Blippi anymore, but nobody's talking about it.
What is Blippi? Blippi is a character in a children's television show, and there's some new guy parading around as Blippi, but it's not the same Blippi, and it just pisses me off.
It's like the woman on the fucking Today Show, her fucking mom's gone, and everybody's this uproar with everybody, and Blippi, are you looking at who Blippi is? Yeah, we're trying to look up new Blippi. We're trying to follow this conspiracy of yours. Make some noise if you heard a Blippi before William talking about it. Oh, wow. Look at that. Matt looks like me and you are too busy.
If you don't have kids, you know what that is. You're a fucking freak. Yeah. That is true.
That's great.
Why are you watching this? I don't know. It makes me smile. It makes me laugh. I love it.
It's better than toddlers in tiaras. I've been watching that a bunch recently. Seriously, no, but in a sweet way, because I think if I ever have kids... No, not in a sweet way.
If I ever have kids, I want them to do that, I think, so that's why they're watching. You have kids, I'm calling the police, dude. See, that's sad. That's what my parents say as well. Seriously, it's sad. That's why I'm watching Blippi. It's a fantasy of mine.
Maybe a little child sitting.
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Chapter 3: Who is the special guest introduced in this episode?
How many episodes of Blippi do you think you've watched, William? Fuck, 30 or 40 the past week. What is it about? Doing the row machine and then watching Blippi in the afternoon. Did you say this week? This week. Oh, my God. 40 episodes. Yeah, it's been real weird, Tony. Give us an example of some of the things that happen in an episode of Blippi.
Well, there was one where all the kids are on the playground and Blippi shows up. It was the new Blippi, and he starts kind of messing with some of the kids in a weird kind of way. He's touching some of them in their butt area.
Seriously, the new guy is this freak kind of person, Tony. Is it Michael Jordan? Yeah. Because he's black? No, no, no.
You didn't see the video from last night? Oh, yeah.
No, I saw it, yeah. Oh, he's diddling, dude. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. But I guess if you're Michael Jordan, you're allowed to. It's okay.
I think he gets one.
Yeah. There is more than one actor who has portrayed Blippi. While creator Steven John originated the role in 2014, actor Clayton Grimm took over the role for live tours and later appeared in videos, followed by Ben Mayer in other separate productions. The change was made to expand... Yeah, see, nobody's even talking about Ben Mayer, Tony. That's a third person you're talking about.
I didn't even know about Ben. There are three Blippis. This is absolutely incredible. Red Band is shocked.
It's very popular with many autistic children and adults.
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Chapter 4: What unique elements does Kill Tony incorporate into its format?
Yes, I have it in my backpack. A razor scooter can go down and it goes out of your backpack. But I can't bring toenail clippers. You can have an entire fucking scooter in your carry-on. What do you mean you can't bring toenail clippers? It's a weapon.
You're kidding. No, you can't bring, like, small, sharp objects. You're bringing an entire blunt object on an airplane. That is true. Razor scooter, but now. Especially with a guy walking through with a face like that. Like, oh, we can trust this guy. Nothing suspicious about him having a razor scooter. Yeah, you can have a razor scooter, but not an actual razor. Interesting. Interesting.
Yeah, that's the time we live in. What else do you sneak through TSA? Give us an example of what's in... I don't think I need to be talking about what I'm sneaking through TSA. Give us an example. Name some things that are in your carry-on bag. What else is in that bag? How many of you want to know what's in William's backpack? Ooh, the world wants to know.
Yeah, Tony, I mean, a lot of the time I got a couple boxers in there, Tony! No, but what else? Wait, wait, what was that? Boxers, like boxers or boxer brief. Oh, yes. Can you back up half a step? Sorry. Please. Thank you, thank you. I have a bunch of cords in there, Tony, for different charging stuff. Yeah, that one wasn't as fun. Yeah, not that exciting.
Okay, what else do you got in there, William? A whole bunch of marijuana, Tony! I'm kidding. I never travel with that. Really. You can. It's okay. They don't care about that. What else? Always my notebook, Tony! Because I've got to look into my jokes on the set, so I've got to... Right. Come on. Give us something that's a little off the beaten path.
Do you have anything in that area in the front where it's like a bunch of little things kind of clanking around in there? Oh, he's thinking hard, this is gonna be good. Look at him thinking. This is what people that watch Blippi do with the microphone against their face. It makes them feel comfortable. Like a fire truck. A lot of Blippi fans.
Oh my gosh, no, Tony, you know what I have been bringing?
I got this really nice little Winnie the Pooh Squishmallow, a real small one, and I sleep with that at night, and I've been bringing that with me.
God help me, Tony! I'm starting to sweat up here. It's good. It's good for you to sweat sometimes. It's good for you. You've been rowing? Yeah, I'm up to 210,000 meters since the beginning of February. We're talking over 120 miles or something. I'm obsessively doing it now, so it's good. I feel good. I'm watching the kids' shows. I'm doing fucking rowing. Things are getting better.
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Chapter 5: What happens to little Kwame that the host reveals?
Ooh, listen to the pop for Sir Winston Pickles.
Hello. Hello. This, by the way, is little Kwame. I've been sponsoring this little guy in Africa for the last three years at 99 cents a week, and unbeknown to me, last March, my credit card expired, so he's dead.
LAUGHTER
No worries, his family's still getting a little bit of money. They sold his shrunken head to a tourist. I love America, right? It's the only place you can go to work, especially Olive Garden, and start your shift as a chef and end up as a head chef. Thank you.
First of all, One of my favorite jokes of the night. How about a ham versus Winston pickles?
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Chapter 6: What is the significance of the Olive Garden joke?
But let's talk about that Olive Garden joke at the end. Chef, head chef, what do you mean?
A guy just fried his head, committed suicide.
Oh, got it, got it. Oh, that did, yes. And Red Band's flag is at half staff for that. He's a huge, huge Olive Garden fan. It's been a rough week for you. Olive Garden guy killed himself in the deep fryer. Ann Wendy's are closing. 400.
Chapter 7: How does the conversation transition to the topic of downsizing restaurants?
400 locations. Yep.
Wait, why?
You know, they're downsizing, and they're trying to redo their menu, make it cheaper because of the economy and all that stuff.
Five letters.
Chapter 8: What insights does Jeremy share about his experiences in stand-up comedy?
R-F-A-G. I mean, you'll be downsizing. Red Band will be downsizing. That's true. He's going to be down 400, too. All right. Sir Winston Pickles, amazing, amazing material. Explain to the people what the half and half is.
I don't know if everybody can see exactly what's going on there, but... I actually saw this lady in Tucson last week. Nancy Guthrie.
You saw her in Tucson?
Yeah, she was on a Razor scooter. She was...
That is Nancy Guthrie on the side of a half and half. Well, somebody's got it all thinking because the FBI isn't. That is true. Nothing's happening, it seems. Sir Winston Pickles is back. Jeremy, this must be very exciting for you.
Yeah, this is a real treat. I am afraid of clowns, but you're super fucking funny, dude. Do you do birthday parties or do you? No, none of that shit, no. Okay. Where are you from? England. Let's go. Which part? Yorkshire. Is that the Harry Potter part? No, no.
How long did you... Oh, it's just a... You ever... You thinking of the question right now? No, I've got it. I just don't know how to ask it.
When I say I'm afraid of them, what's a... When you're having... So, Virgin, let's get out of the way. When I do do it, does it help to look like that? Like, when you get to do it, do you fucking stay like that or do you fucking change it up? When I do what? When... Do I need to fucking act it out? Like, when you fucking... When you get to fucking, fucking, fucking.
Maybe use your words. Yeah, just when you get to fucking do intercourse and shit. Yeah, of course I do. You say it like that? In character, yes.
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